DEUX EX MACHINA
by S.N. Rainsworth
Summary: Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. So let's write out our story together. Fem!EdRoy. Temporary hiatus. Undergoing major editing.
1. Chapter I: Burning To Ashes

A/N- Okay, I understand what you guys said from before - yes, this chapter is chapters one and two _combined _and written over, because stupid me had a fusion malfunction with the story and two chapters were deleted, so I had to take a few days to rewrite them. That's why this is a little different, so sorry about that. But I had to write this _all_ over _again..._so expect a _few_ changes, okay? Chapters are also going to be longer, ranging from 6,000 to 7,000 words.

_Playlist [Music I listened to while in the writing process] _

_The Way I Are - Timberland ft. Keri Hilson, John D.O.E. and Francisco  
Love Me or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign _

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r one.

_"...she burns to ashes..."  
"...and we all fall down..."_

* * *

_"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!"_

_The ring of linked hands spun around a small little girl, with a heart-shaped face and in a bright red shirt, coveralls and bare feet. The little girl had long blonde hair, loose and tangles around her shoulders. But there was dirt on her cheek, twigs in her hair and a steady stream of tears down her face. Golden eyes blinked as she stumbled, looking around from the inside of the ring; but there was no escape. _

_"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!" _

_"I'm not! I'm a girl!" she screamed, tiny fists clenching and looking around desperately. "I'm a girl!" _

_She felt a pair of hands behind her back and the wind quickly rushed out of her lungs as she fell on the dirty ground, and Edward found her eyes fill with tears again. Using her lithe arms to push herself up, she rubbed the dirt out of her eyes in vain, mixing the salty water with filth. "I'm a girl!" _

_"Oh yeah? Then why do you have a boy's name?" Edward sniffled and glared at the person who was talking to her in a snide voice; the mocking brown eyes of one girl looked at her and she had a victorious smile on her face. "You can't be a girl." _

_"I am! I am!" _

_"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!" _

_"No, I'm not!" she cried desperately, wishing for the taunting to stop. Another voice, a boy this time, snorted. "So what? Your not a boy _or_ a girl? What are you?" _

_Edward clapped her hands over her ears. "No! You got it wrong - " _

_"Edward is a freak! Edward is a freak!" Edward shook her head and shut her eyes closed, blocking out the voices. They kept spinning in a circle, laughing at her and mocking her unusual name. She tried to force it out of her subconscious. _

_It was no use - she could still hear them in her mind. _

_._

_._

_The cool hand of her mother's smoothed over her hair and she sniffled. When the kids had finally stopped, it was to go back inside for class. Edward had stayed there, outside, cheek on the cool ground and her hands over her ears. Then, when she realized all the other children were gone, she picked herself up and ran all the way up hill, ignoring the fact that she was skipping class. _

_In fact, the first thing she did was run into her mother's skirt when she burst open the door. Trisha stared at her oldest daughter, about to scold her for skipping class when Alphonse was still there, but then she noticed the watery droplets that soaked her face, red and golden eyes raw with pain. _

_"Ed...?" Trisha breathed worriedly. She dropped down to her daughter's height, placing a hand on her head and setting down a basket of laundry beside her. Her daughter had stopped crying, but she could see the fresh streaks clear away mud from her face. "Edward...?" _

_The small child looked up at her with sullen eyes, and when she spoke, her voice cracked. "Mama, am I a freak?" _

_Suffice to say, Trisha was taken aback. Then her green eyes hardened. "Of course not, Ed! Why would you ever think of something like that?" she sounded scandalized. But Edward didn't answer her mother, just fingered her long blonde hair with a thoughtful face. Letting go of her hair, she looked at her hands, dirty and calloused from years of playing outside. _

_"Mama?" she started out softly. "Can you cut my hair?" _

_._

_._

_No one talked to her. After she cut her hair, Edward made sure no one talked to her. She stayed out of range from their taunts, laughs and mocking voices. The only person she befriended was a blonde girl named Winry who didn't care that she was a boy or girl, just liked the fact that Edward could play soccer very well. They played at recess, no one bothering them as Winry became Edward's new best friend (along with her little brother, but he was in a different class) and they were even neighbors, which made them even closer. _

_Winry helped her stand up to the bullies that made fun of her every time. They stopped, but Edward noticed the whispers that they shared, the looks that they passed behind her back even when she was walking beside Winry who was so proud and wasn't afraid to show that she was Edward's best friend, even though that made her an outcast too._

_Of course, being friends also meant that they had fights too. But they never lasted long as each girl made up to each other. Soon, Alphonse joined their little group too. That made Edward happy - for one thing, Alphonse was able to stay around for much longer. Second, because Al was like a voice of reason between her and Winry, so there was less fights between them. _

_Edward still heard their whispers in her sleep. _

_._

_._

_Edward wasn't in the slightest bit offended when Lieutenant Colonel Mustang thought she was a little boy. She had been used to it for so many years; and with her bandaged self, short curtained hair that covered her face and shaded her lifeless eyes, she wasn't even sure what she was anymore. _

_" - he would have all the privileges of a State Alchemist - " _

_" - find a way to retain their bodies - " _

_" - alchemy was the thing that got them in this mess in the first place - " _

_" - not even human! You want to put those children through more hell - " _

_" - it's their choice - " _

_" - what was in there was a freak of nature - " _

_" - disgusting, horrifying - "_

_" - bloody, vile - "_

_" - choice -" _

_" - retribution - " _

_" - regain - "_

_" - freak of nature - "_

_" - freak - "_

_Something in her mind snapped. _

_[She was definitely going to make this right. She would. This was nothing compared to her little brother's pain. .] _

.

.

A terrifying gasp passed her lips as Edward Elric shot up from her bed. Putting a cool, automail hand to her sweaty forehead, she gulped in deep breaths of air and blinked away the remainder of sleepiness. Ed swallowed bile rising in her throat, burning as it went back down again. Getting up, she shivered as blankets fell off her small frame and cold air hit her skin.

She looked toward the temperature controller in her room, glaring at it and making a mental note to fix it later on. Too cold and her automail sucked it all in, even if her leg was back to normal. The time on the small clock beside her desk showed it was 6:59 AM, before another minute passed and it was 7:00 AM. She remembered vaguely that she had to be in the office by 8:30 AM for some special surprise that Havoc, Hawkeye, Mustang, Breda and the rest of the group wanted to give her. It was amazing she still even recalled it, feeling like she was in a hangover.

The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, mingled voices and mushed laughter, ringing echoes of past events. That, with the images of her mother's bleeding smile and twisted face, Truth's stabbing grin, Alphonse's outraised hand and desperate eyes, blood and gore and splattered organs and Nina and among other things usually haunted her sleep. It was a long time since she had a dream that partook in her childhood.

Although happier than what little of a life she had now, it was still filled with all her tears, insecurities and despair. Her mother and father, Trisha and Van Hohenheim Elric were expecting a boy when Trisha was pregnant. But instead, they got a little girl - and instead of a regular name, Hohenheim had insisted on 'Edward'. Trisha had loved that name just as well, naming their daughter Edward Elric although she was a girl.

And that was where all the teasing started - in school, Edward was always advanced in her studies, better than her other classmates. Due to the fact she wore boy's clothes most of the time (her mother couldn't afford dresses and skirts and stuff like that) and how she loved to read, play soccer or sports with the other boys. No one had thought any different until she revealed that she was a girl. Apparently, they had no idea, and it was unbidden to play with a person like her. A person who didn't belong - so children took it as how any other children took it.

They teased her.

It was only until it was at it's peak did she finally lose it. _If they think I'm a boy, _she had thought furiously, _then I should look like one, right?_ It was in that moment of quiet rage that she asked her mother to cut off all her hair, to leave a cute shaggy style with short bangs. She didn't care if she looked like a girl or a boy anymore, let them think what they want and she would fool them.

When Mustang had came in and thought she was a boy - she could tell from the way he spoke about her - she decided that it would be fun to make a masquerade. She wasn't offended or angry about it, not at all - she was used to it, really. But being a boy would be easier. Less people got in her way, less people doubted her (they already did that enough with her age) and more people would try and think twice before doing anything. She already had the rough edges of a boy, the attitude and the personality. She decided since that everyone thought she was a boy when she was younger, they wouldn't think any different once she was older.

_What a stupid kid I was,_ Edward thought, wincing as she took bandages and started to bind her chest for the day. It was unhealthy, and hurt like hell, but soon Ed became used to it - like everything else. It was getting harder to pretend - instead of her lithe frame when she studied with Izumi-sensei and when she was eleven, she changed. Edward's waist slimmed down to almost nothing, due to all the sparring and fights she would get into. The fact she had an hourglass waist enhanced her hips which became wider, her chest which became larger, and all together - how she was getting more irritatingly curvaceous day by day. Other woman would be glad; she thought it a hindrance.

She swore under her breath when a strand of hair caught in one of her metal joints; glaring at the blonde piece, she carefully worked it out with her flesh hand, quickly slipped on a glove to ensure the same wouldn't happen again, and threaded her hair into a braid. Flicking her ever-standing antennae when she was done, Edward slipped on a black tank-top (different, larger, in men's size but not too big) and a short, black jacket with silver lining. Leather pants that _looked _tight, but was actually pretty comfortable. Favorited black and red combat boots and a bright red jacket across her shoulder completed the look.

"Done yet, sis?" Edward turned and smile widely at the sight of her little brother.

Alphonse Elric, currently sixteen, was taller than Edward (a truth she had to face yet but refused to) by about three inches. Even though she knew guys always got taller than the girls, it still irked her to no end (not that she would ever admit it.) He had dirty blonde hair that was a shade darker than her own pure golden hair (that looked like her father's) and bottle green eyes like their mother. Edward was often taken over with an obsessive protection for her little brother, he looked so much like their mom it was incredible. Alphonse would roll his eyes when this was said and say that Edward look more like Trisha instead. (And, just to annoy her, he would also say she looked like a pretty little princess - in total privacy, of course.)

"Yup." Edward shoved her arms through wide sleeves of her jacket. "Let's go - hey, I just noticed. I'm pretty early, aren't I?"

Alphonse rolled his eyes at his older sister's victorious smirk. But he, like most people know how to calm her down. "Yes, you are, sis." Edward's sudden frown distracted Alphonse from moving any further to go outside. His brows furrowed. "Sister...?"

"Brother, you mean, Al." Ed gave a pained smile, and Alphonse blinked, standing in the doorway. Edward turned around and started to walk, talking as she went along the way. "So, I was wondering when Winry would come - "

"When are you going to tell them?"

Edward stopped, feet in front of her and eyes wide. Then they narrowed and she turned slightly to see her little brother's serious green eyes. "What?" she faked confusion.

"You know what I'm talking about, sis."

Edward sighed. "Alphonse, we've been through this." Unconsciously, she crossed her arms while cocking a hip. "I'll tell them when I'm ready." to make her point even clearer, she added, "And I'm not ready."

"You said that a month ago!" Alphonse threw his hands in the air, exasperated. But it was no use - Edward was already out in the hall, away from him and walking down with uneven thudding steps.

"And I'll keep saying it for another month more~!" she sing-songed from her position. Alphonse groaned and stuffed his hands in his pockets, a habit he had - unsurprisingly - picked up from his older tomboyish sister. She was walking (rather confidently he might add) with her usual red coat billowing behind her with every step, long golden braid swinging rhythmically behind her back. Sometimes, it was so hard to forget that she was really a girl, Alphonse thought miserably as he caught up with his elder sibling in long strides. It wasn't as if he didn't respect his sister's decision, but he knew it hurt her to pretend, to shade herself everyday. So it hurt him too.

Alphonse decided to move to a lighter topic, "So what did the Major General want you for?" he asked, referring to the meeting between Edward and Roy that was scheduled yesterday. Edward shrugged indifferently.

"I dunno. Wasn't there," she replied easily, as if missing meetings that were titled 'crucial' and 'of the most absolute importance' was a regular thing to do everyday. Which, for Edward Elric, it actually was. Alphonse's eye twitched and his mouth hung open slightly.

Al groaned. "Nii-san!" Using the title had become a habit for him, saying 'older brother' instead of 'older sister'. But he couldn't fight away it's foreign feeling in his mouth - even after six or so odd years. 'Nee-san' was always going to be the only word comfortable in his mouth, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Obviously, Edward knew it too, but she ignored it justly.

The blonde female shrugged. "I was busy. And so damn tired." _As if that's going to explain everything,_ Al thought a little bitterly, still hung over the fact of the masquerade from earlier.

Edward parted from her little brother in front of the Mess Hall, where Alphonse said he was going to get some breakfast (and assured Edward that he would get her some too). She walked, face mellow and calm. Well, not for long, anyways.

In front of the door to her superior officer's office, her nose crinkled involuntarily.

Sighing - _it really couldn't be helped, that bastard _- she kicked open the door with her usual flamboyant flair. No one took another surprised glance her way. After all, this _was_ starting to become the norm. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc gave her a lazy grin from where he was sitting back, cigarette half-falling out of his mouth. "Yo. Chief."

Heymans Breda, also a First Lieutenant, didn't give her more than a cursory glance; he was playing an intense game of chess with Kain Fuery, a Master Sergeant. Fuery gave her a timid smile and polite 'hello', then turned his attention back to the game.

Warrant Officer Falman, standing steady and silent, gave her a nod of respect, but didn't say anymore. And finally, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, who gave her a ghost of a smile and regarded her with a "Hello, Edward sir."

A small smile was what Edward offered, not large enough to be really called a smile, but enough to show everyone that she was finally pleased with her life. Pleased with what she had done and what she had corrected. It sent a clear message through the office, even if that rare smile flickered off a second later like a lightbulb in chloric acid. "So, what'cha got me here for?"

Abruptly, the temperature in the room cooled to a few degrees. This was not gone unnoticed by Edward, who crossed her arms and gave a wary evil eye. "What's up?"

"...Uh, you see - "

"Chief, it's a good thing, really - "

Breda and Havoc, who easily cracked under her gaze, started blabbing at fast speeds. They were cut off suddenly by the banging of a door. Silent, but loud enough to stop every voice in the room, every thought.

Roy Mustang, standing to his full height, looked like a very imposing figure to those who didn't know him personally. With dark, raven hair in a messed up fashion, and even darker nightmare-colored eyes, he was the epitome of handsome in that period. Elegant, sharp, and deadly. But now he was smirking and not looking anything like a stereotype would exist him of being.

"Ah, Fullmetal. You're here." He nodded to his office. "Come in, I need a word with you..._short stuff._"

"_WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SMALLER THAN HAVOC'S PAYCHECK!"_

There were some snickers, and Roy dropped his smirk for an amused smile. "Havoc's paycheck, eh? I don't believe I said that much...shrimp."

"_AAARRGH!"_

Hawkeye sighed.

.

.

Stomping back into her room, Edward slammed the door closed. Furiously working off her boots and clothes, she tugged open her hair and grabbed a towel on the way to the bathroom. The event played from earlier spun around in her mind, like a broken record.

_"Congratulations, Colonel Elric."_

Her teeth grit in frustration as she remembered the Major General's words. No matter how innocent they seemed, they still had that mocking, twisting tone that she loathed. Like he was saying,_ Ha! How do you like it now?_ in a know-it-all manner, and it rubbed her the wrong way to no end.

The only possible thing she thought of to do was take a long, warm shower; it was proven, actually, to calm her down. Edward took the bottle of shampoo that Winry had slipped in her suitcase the last time she visited. It would've cost her Edward's job at the military if it were found out, but luckily no one did. Inspecting it, Edward looked it over dubiously. The bottle was light purple with a darker purple cap, and she shrugged and thought, _Clean is clean._

In the end, when she walked out, she noticed her hair smelled like flowers. Looking in the mirror, she stared at her hair in horror; _flowers?_ A girl would love it - _and she did -_ but no self respecting boy would want to smell like flowers - _and he didn't. _ She cursed under her breath, retying her towel around her bare torso. Another thing that was very troublesome - it would hurt like hell to bind her breasts again.

Her ears picked up on the sound of footsteps; _must be Al,_ she thought wearily. Then looked back at the shampoo bottle, she decided that it was only fair to tell Alphonse to thank Winry, or else the blue-eyed mechanic would beat her for her finickiness.

Walking out the door while keeping he towel secured around herself, Edward didn't notice it wasn't Al she was talking to. "Hey, little brother, can you thank Winry for - "

In front of her was Riza Hawkeye.

.

.

"Wha - "

Riza's day officially started like this; she went to get coffee in the Mess, effectively waking her up. Then, she proceeded to go to Colonel - wait, Major General Mustang's office carrying a bunch of paperwork. The work was distributed between Roy and the others, the Flame Alchemist earning himself some bullet holes near his head for being uncooperative. This went on for about two hours, and then Edward came in.

Riza always liked Edward, thought of him as her own son; he was awfully short-tempered, but she knew that he was only a lost little boy on the inside, waiting for someone to find him. And beside that, he was a genius; he knew algorithms and physics and chemistry and things like that which she learned in high school but never elaborated. He knew how to be logical, sensible, rational, he knew things most people didn't.

And, if it was anything of importance, Edward always left a trail of chaos behind him.

Everywhere he went, things were destroyed, materialistic things were burned, burnings were diminished to crumbling dust, and there were more people whose lives were saved, who thought him an idol. And there were some who got to know him personally for a sensitive person he was.

Well, most of the time.

Right now, it wasn't one of those times.

Riza heard clearly the loud shout of '_WHAT THE HELL!_' from her superior officer's room. A second later, Edward blast through the door like a rocket, flew out of the room with a furious look in his eyes and a heavy stomp. Riza supposed that he was told of his promotion - the blonde never really liked the military that much. Roy's face was visible through the open door, weary.

"Give Fullmetal his uniform," Roy said. "and make sure he doesn't cause any more trouble. God knows I don't need anymore paperwork."

Riza nodded stiffly and left, acknowledging the obvious order. Lazy or not, Roy Mustang knew what he was doing. Somewhat.

She had gotten the uniform - the smallest size they had. Hopefully it would fit, but Edward was still awfully short and lean for a seventeen year old; he was almost Riza's height, and that was only 5'6. It was one mystery Riza couldn't find out, seeing as Alphonse was tall, their father - from indirect sources - hit the six feet mark, and their mother wasn't that small either.

Well, looking at the frail, petite body covered only in a white towel, _so obviously feminine,_ Riza got her answer.

"Y-you're a - " Riza was at a loss for words, something that didn't happen very often.

Edward was in the same state. "Oh...crap."

Looking at the Lieutenant's widened sherry eyes, and the blue packet in her hand that was now being clutched in two, very white hands, Edward's golden eyes darted around nervously. She stepped back a little, perhaps a little spasmodically aware of how quiet is was. Her hair dripped on the floor. "Uh...Hawkeye, I can explain - "

"You're a girl."

Edward flinched back slightly at the blunt tone Riza used. Her eyes no longer surprised or stunned, but now cool, calm, and deadly. _Am I going to get court-martialed?_ The even thought of it made Edward nervous; the military was the only style of life she knew. And, though she wouldn't admit it, she _liked_ working there.

"...Yeah."

_Take a deep breath, Riza. Take a _very _deep breath._ Riza did as her subconscious told, and sat down on the spartan bed that all the dorms had, ignoring Edward's worried face for the time being. Quietly, almost inaudibly, Edward slipped out of the room and back into the bathroom, giving Riza time to think things over.

_Edward is a girl?_

It seemed so impossible, but she was staring at the boy - no, girl, just a few seconds ago, and it was so painfully clear. Riza was past the shock, surprisingly to her. But another thing was banging against her skull; _why?_ Why wouldn't Edward say anything? Why wouldn't he - she mention it? It wasn't as if the military didn't accept women...

_But they didn't see them as completely equal to men,_ understanding dawned on the blonde woman. _Even the women who enter are mostly secretaries or sergeants. Only a select few are able to be on higher ground - like General Armstrong. Before last year, there wasn't even a woman in the Brass._

Riza's mind began to move at a fast pace. Edward as a girl would serve fine now, the timing was good. If it was a year ago, then there would have been some problems, with the homunculi and all. But in fact, she might even be able to turn this to benefit her wellr... The teenage blonde came out from the bathroom, a red hue of embarrassment across her face, and clothed in a black tank top and sweatpants Riza suspected were worn to sleep.

Once again, she opened her mouth to say something - "You're a girl."

Edward flushed deeper, but managed a comeback. "Well, yes I am. No offense, Hawkeye, but you're one too, so you shouldn't really be surprised." For a second, Riza stood stock still and stared at the alchemist, who, despite looking very flustered and off, stared at her with steady eyes. Then, a warm smile spread on the sherry-eyed woman's face that completely baffled Edward.

"It's good to know that you're not any different, Edward," Riza said softly. Then, she stared curiously. "You're name is still Edward, right?"

"Yeah," she looked away bitterly. "it is."

Riza, catching this action, frowned. "Ed...ward...?"

"It's nothing." Ed smiled briefly, and waved her hand. "Just...something I hadn't heard in a long time."

For some reason, Riza didn't think that was the only thing on her mind. But she knew better than to talk about it.

"So, when were you going to tell everyone?"

Edward looked back, stunned. "Tell...everyone?"

"Surely you couldn't keep this a secret for the rest of your career."

Having the child genius look flustered and embarrassed again gave Riza all the answer she needed. "You were?" she asked, appalled by the idea. She couldn't think of pretending to be someone who she was not for her whole life. It must have been hard enough doing it for five years straight and not having anyone suspect you. Edward, however, still didn't answer.

After a short pause, she said, "W-well, when the time was right...?"

"And when is that time?"

Edward almost flinched at that question. It was the same question that was being asked by her little brother for almost a whole year now, and it was raving in her brain, short-circuiting her already thin patience and fuse. But hearing it from another, it made her die down, just a little bit. Sill, she frowned, feeling crotchety at the mere mention of it. "Why don't you tell me, Hawkeye?" Ed knew that she would be shot for her disrespect and sarcasm, even being a Major - well, Colonel now - but instead, she got a different answer.

"Today. Oh, and call me Riza."

"...what?"

.

.

_Edward is a freak! _

A freak, she reminded herself. Looking at her through the reflection was a pure, simple illusion. A girl so pretty was not her.

And yet it was, as Riza had consoled her. The pretty heart-shaped face, high cheekbones and fair, smooth skin. A button nose, right under a pair of small lips that were too full for a boy and the color of a light red cherry. Wide golden eyes covered by fair lashes, framed by the smooth, soft hair of a blonde shade - for a moment, the reflection changed from the pretty girl in the mirror to her mother, with the same features and smile, and then her father, golden and awkward, and Edward jerked her hand back.

"That's not me." she said shakily. Behind her, Riza looked on curiously, wondering how such a strong, unbreakable and determined person could be so uncoordinated by something as simple as her true face.

"Of course it is, Edward," Riza interrupted softly. "That _is _you. You just never took the time to see."

Edward turned around to look at her with confused, inquisitive eyes. Instead of getting an answer, Riza shook her head with a secretive smile, and picked up the folded square of blue clothes on the dorm bed. Edward, just noticing the cold air on her bare arms, frowned and grabbed her red coat.

She wasn't all that comfortable with showing her skin, just like she wasn't comfortable showing off her automail. Wearing this shirt that Hawkeye drew out for her to wear - _one sleeve was long and covered her automail, the other had no sleeve at all leaving the arm and shoulder naked _- and the pants that she also drew out - _they weren't even pants anymore! More like leather shorts that actually clinged and showed off an awful lot of leg, especially since she received her flesh leg back from the Gate so now they were both smooth skin - _and even her shoes! - _now they were boots with high heels on them. Oddly, it only took her three minutes before she could get the hang of walking in them. Riza said that walking in heels was in a woman's blood, so she shouldn't have worried -_ and she looked absolutely...feminine.

Edward felt a dread crawling up her spine. "Hawk - Riza, a-are you sure about this?"

The blonde woman gave her a determined, yet somehow expressionless face. "If you don't do it now, Ed, you'll never be able to."

Edward was silent.

But then Riza walked out of the dorm, proud, sophisticated and absolutely sure that her plan would work and Ed would surely follow in a second, smiled slightly as she heard the soft, now even footsteps of a girl following behind her, eyes downward.

Edward noticed their stares.

She could pick them out, one by one, in her peripheral vision, each and every gaze that looked her over from top to bottom - most of them being men. She wished more than nothing to take her coat and cover herself up, make sure that they couldn't every see her, Edward Elric, as a pretty little girl that she knew she was and yet she was sure she wasn't.

"Hawkeye," she whispered under her breath, unknowingly slipping back into her old habit of calling the Lieutenant by her last name. "They're all looking at me."

"Ignore it."

A hesitant pause. "I can't. It's...hard."

Ed could see Riza look at her slightly, turning her head. "It's okay, Edward. You're strong, and you can ignore them, like you always do - right?"

The alchemist thought over that sullenly, mind flashing to her younger days or taunting and laughs. Riza noted something odd while Edward was thinking - the Fullmetal Alchemist was rather quieter and shyer, and if she dared to say it - more docile. It was incredible, how a change of clothes could change a firebrand boy to an awkward girl. Though she didn't doubt it - Edward was only feeling uncomfortable. Her usual personality would be back soon enough.

True to the words of Hawkeye, Edward was able to clear away everyone and everything by focusing on the fact she had her little brother back. And the fact that she would be expecting a wedding between her best friends soon - it would be extravenous, if Winry was in charge of everything. Then she thought of the Periodic Table and how she was hoping to create some more base elements to add -

Stumbling, Edward fumbled with a folder that was tossed to her by an expectant Hawkeye. Riza gave her a reprimanding look. "We'll do this accordingly. Edward, just pretend to act casual and come in. Don't worry about anything. And just act like yourself, okay?"

Without staying for an answer, Riza passed through the two doors, leaving Edward on the other side of an empty hallway. However, she did subtly leave the door open, for Edward to listen to the conversation.

"Back already, Lieutenant?" a voice she recognized as Mustang said. Involuntarily, she gritted her teeth at his mocking tone. Obviously, he saw the uniform in her hands and jumped to conclusions.

Riza's curt voice answered. "Yes, sir. Unfortunately, this uniform was not the correct size for Major Elric."

"Of course. Fullmetal's too short for the uniform." A tick appeared over her eye, and gloved hands clutched the folder tightly. _Oh, he's going to get it. _She practically fantasized the expression on Mustang's face once he found out. It would be enough to garter a Hughes-worthy photo.

" - don't be so hard on him, boss." Havoc's cool voice broke in between. Edward smiled a little that someone backed her up, and made a move to enter. "It's not his fault that he's practically a midget."

"I. Am. Not. _A MIDGET._" Edward grit out, door slamming in her wake as she entered the room. Her voice wasn't concealed, and her face was red in anger. She didn't notice the absolute look of shock on the faces of her colleagues, but focused on Havoc and Mustang in particular - seeing as they called her short. She would've hit them with an automail fist, if not for the fact that she noticed the stares she was gathering.

But different from the ones from earlier, she felt confident - not to mention raging mad. Crossing her arms, she ignored Havoc and Breda's stunned eyes and Fuery's rapidly increasing flushed face, (she also ignored how he stared at her legs - never pegged Fuery as the type) and Falman's awkward blush and - for once - opened eyes, and Hawkeye's satisfied smile. She also ignored the coffee mug Mustang dropped and fell into a stunned silence.

After a pregnant silence, he finally said ever so slowly - "I never knew...you were a transvestite, Fullmetal."

Color rapidly rushing to her fact, Edward gripped the edge of the folder in her hand tightly before flinging it in the Major General's face. His cry of 'Ow!' was lost as Edward's voice reached an octave above them all.

"_I'M NOT A FREAKING CROSSDRESSER, YOU IDIOT!" _

"B-but y-y-you look like a g-g-girl..." Havoc stuttered, looking unbalanced and choking on the last word. A dark shadow passed over her face.

"Have you ever thought," she muttered darkly, loud enough for them to hear, "that maybe I was _born this way?_"

"B-but that would mean you're a _girl..._" Breda repeated the tone Havoc used earlier, not seeming to believe what was happening. Edward rolled his eyes and didn't miss the smile Riza was enjoying to herself - _finally the justice is done for my burnt building courtesy of those idiots;_ Riza Hawkeye was thinking - and crossed her arms. "Well, _duh._ I still can't believe it took you guys this long to find out. Hell, I can't believe I kept it secret for so long."

"Hawkeye! Why don't you look surprised?" Jean Havoc snapped his head toward her. "You look like you knew all along." Riza looked up briefly at him, and smiled, the same one she did earlier in Edward's room.

Five pairs of eyes widened.

Roy Mustang fainted.

.

.

Men did _not _faint.

Well, that's what Roy Mustang was saying to himself as soon as he woke up and caught glimpse of Edward's barely concealed laughing face. He just passed out from shock. Because he _did not_ faint.

When he said this over to his subordinates, Edward giggled (there was no other way to explain it) and said, "Sure you didn't, bastard."

Then, looking toward Hawkeye, he noticed the time; it was five, even dark outside by the short days of winter. But it was sort of unimportant; his head was still dizzy, and he spoke with a slight slur.

"Fullmetal, what is the meaning of this?"

Edward, who was reading a file uninterestedly, looked up at him. "What meaning? I'm... a girl. That should be enough for you, right?"

Roy's teeth clenched. "No, I mean why haven't spoken up about this before?" In his subconscious, he noted the slight hesitation when she called herself a girl.

Riza, who was watching and listening patiently from her desk, toned in an emotionless voice: "Sir, the notion that Colonel Elric is a woman has already been passed around all five bases. The Fuhrer, as the Colonel has told me, had known for six months already. Colonel Elric kept this a secret due to personal matters."

In return, Mustang's mouth hang open as Edward nodded. "What she said." she jerked her head to Hawkeye. Then, Riza smiled and stood up, shuffling papers and reaching for her coat. She addressed the other blonde warmly. "Edward, we're having dinner at Gracia's place tonight. It's crucial you come; bring Alphonse, okay?"

"Okay!" Edward smiled and gave a slight wave as Riza left.

"How come she treats you so _nicely?_" Roy muttered, which was not unheard by Ed. She smirked at him. "That's because Riza likes me better." She stood up and put her red coat on, which was hanging off the back of her chair. Then, she added, "And because you're a surreptious bastard." Grinning, she left with a flourish that sent Roy blinking and cursing.

No matter what, Edward Elric was still Edward Elric.

(...and a pompous brat.)

.

.

Edward sighed in relief as the last box was deposited at their new apartment, and sat back on the one-poster bed with it's cushion-like pillows. They had been planning the move for weeks - her and Alphonse - and today was the day that they finally finished it. Also being the day that she finally revealed her true gender.

It was a little awkward, but it felt like there was something taken off her chest. Yet, that also made her feel bare and naked, exposed and uncomfortable to the world. The burden of being a boy became no more a burden than just a simple shroud, covering her completely and made her feel safe. And now that shroud was taken off, an she still could not feel anymore different from being a boy, except perhaps being a little nicer.

...Actually, scratch that little part out. Edward smirked as she heard the run-on sentence that Alphonse was saying as he noticed that her attention was not on him.

" - me and Winry downstairs, sis, so don't get in trouble so much, okay? And please - "

"You and Winry together in the same apartment?" Edward asked in surprise, but then Alphonse's face flushed and he realized the familiar look on his older sister's face. Edward sat up and placed her head in her hands. "Aw, my baby brother is growing up! Remember Al, don't do anything I wouldn't do! And use protection - !"

The last part was cut off by a pillow to her face, and loud bouts of laughter escaping the older Elric. Edward was practically in tears on the bed, while Alphonse was protesting weakly with a cherry-red face. "Nee-san...!"

"Oh god, that was...ahahaha!" Edward snickered on and on, and Alphonse's face was unreadable by this time. "I'm just teasing you Al. Lighten up little bro." Edward sat up with difficulty and punched her younger in the arm lightly. Alphonse pouted, then his green eyes guiltily traced the outline of his sister's automail hand - the only thing they didn't retrieve from the Promised Day.

Edward say him looking at her, and she put on a stern face, one that reminded Alphonse of their mother. "Don't even think about it, Alphonse Heinrich Elric." The boy in question colored as he heard his name being said in the same way as when he was younger and in trouble, but he shoved the continuously mixing images of his sister and his mother in his head out.

"But..."

Edward shook her head. "You're back whole." she said softly, eyes alight. Then slowly, she smiled. "That's all that matters, and you won't try and change it, okay?" Alphonse nodded obediently. Edward was actually scary when she was serious, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone. The female blonde smirked. "Good. Now, Riza invited us over to Gracia's for dinner. Some sort of special day. Come on, and don't be taking your time!"

Alphonse almost snorted. He barely took as much time as Edward did to put on her shoes - which were still heels for some reason, he noted - and a book that was previously on the side table labeled _Medieval Alchemie Theoretics._ He almost rolled his eyes, but then after she clipped on her watch and reached for the signature red coat - Alphonse snatched it out of her hand.

"Hey!" Her protests were gone unnoticed as Al pointed to the black overcoat that Winry bought her for her birthday, that still wasn't being used.

"Nee-san, go wear that one."

Ed looked dubious, crossing her arms and cocking a hip; a famous stubborn Edward Elric pose. "Why?"

Al grinned. "You look better in black. Besides, red with white and blue would clash." he added at the end, and Ed looked at her long sleeved t-shirt that was indeed, plain white, then at the blue denim jeans that hugged her legs a _little_ too much that she borrowed from Riza while her real leather jeans were just shorts now, and her black boots that were still heels simply because of the fact they made her taller. Ed looked over herself, then back at Alphonse, and gave him a long, hard stare.

"What?" he fidgeted nervously.

"I'm so glad you and Winry are dating." she said simply. When he looked at her confused, she continued, "If not, I would be so sure that my little brother was gay."

A red face, a black jacket thrown in her face, and another five minutes of laughter before they both finally left.

.

.

_A/N- Okay, this is the real end of chapter one. Hoped you enjoyed! Read chapter two, NAO. :) _

-Summer


	2. Chapter II: The Unknown Line Between Us

A/N- Sorry about the wait. About the relationship between Ed and Roy, it shall be taken slowly. One does not go from hate [Point A - which they are in now] to love [Point B - where they shall hopefully get to.] Most people, in my opinion, don't understand love completely; it's not all kisses and hugs, there has to be a smooth communication [or something akin to that] and some sort of connection between two characters and understanding of each other. Not only must they have to be in love, they have to be friends and they have to be complementing each other. Most people believe the concept of love is only 'tragedy', [-cough-Twilight-cough] and they don't understand - it's _not _love, simply _infatuation._ Twilight, as I have said, doesn't really expand on that. It's one look and they fall in love. It's almost like Stephanie Meyer doesn't understand _how_ to fall in love. [Well, that sure is a disconcerting thought. Tell me if you get the double message. ;)]

**_[ ATTENTION! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Please go back and read the rest of chapter one. I have added more to it, but you probably didn't get the email alert for it. SO, BEFORE YOU READ THIS, READ ALL OF CHAPTER ONE. IT HAS NEW MATERIAL ADDED TO IT. This chapter is essentially chapterthree (although the beginning is changed) and chapter four (which you guys didn't read), so you really don't need to read the first part, only the second - the one where no one got to read. :) ] _**

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r two.

_"There is a fine line between love and hate."  
"...okay, so what's the line inbetween called?" _

* * *

Gracia opened the door, facing Edward with a smile and a glowing look in her eyes. Edward greeted her as she usually did, which was a "Hello, Mrs. Hughes." She and Alphonse entered calmly, her little brother being polite and shaking her hand. From behind Gracia, came a little cute girl now at the age of five; Elysia Hughes looked up at her with wide, green eyes the same shade as her fathers and grinned largely.

"Little Big Sister! Big Big Brother!"

Edward stood there in surprise for a second, but looked at Gracia and then hugged Elysia, who squeezed her and gave her a bright smile before running toward Alphonse, who was talking to a few of their colleagues.

"You knew?" wondered Ed, looking at Gracia with a newfound respect. The motherly woman nodded.

"Oh, I got it after a few years. A woman's intuition, you could say," Gracia had a glinting look in her eye. Then she motioned Edward to come in. "You're just on the dot. Dinner starts in five minutes."

Gracia walked past Edward, and the blonde couldn't help but think there was something wrong. Usually, the Hughes household was loud and rambunctious, due to Elysia and her little playmates, running around in the apartment while Gracia watched them. Walking into the sitting room, there was a heavy sense of melancholy in the air which caused Edward to wince. The lights, usually bright, were dimmed to a lounge-ish sort of setting. The lamps were lit, but they were faint. The guests all sat, and some got up once in a while to get something - they spoke in under their breath whispers.

Edward noticed that not a lot of people came; the dinner was mostly composed of Riza, who was talking to Jean and Alphonse on the sofa, across from them was an unknown woman carrying a little pink bundle in her arms; and beside her was a dirty-blonde man talking with a dark haired person she soon identified as Roy.

Her eyes roamed around, and she caught sight of two little children by the dead fireplace; One had short, blonde hair sideswept over her face, and another, older, had darker hair yet still kept the resemblance between them. Edward supposed that they were sisters. They looked around ten or so, but it was hard to tell.

Then, above the fireplace, she caught the glinting photo of Maes Hughes, glasses being adjusted while he smiled genuinely, not one of his over-the-top grins. The force of the night came flooding back into her memory and hit her like a truck; _The Death Anniversary of Maes Hughes. _Of course. How could she forget?

And such a day to reveal her gender. It was fate laughing at her, surely.

But she said nothing, deciding that before Alphonse could reach her and beat her into sense that it wasn't her fault that he died, Edward refused to reach those thoughts at all. Maes wouldn't want her to think of it, even if she couldn't stop thinking about it. So she resolved to read her book silently, which was done in a dark corner of the room.

"Edward?"

Ed looked up at Gracia, blinked, then looked around her. "We're all in the dining room. I wonder if you could get Elysia for me? I think she's in the bathroom and I have to take care of something quickly." Then, Gracia's eyes widened. "It's not a problem, is it?"

"Of course not," Ed replied looking like she'd be insulted if it were a problem. "I'll get her there straightaway, Mrs. Hughes."

Gracia let out a sigh of relief, and Ed closed her book and stood up, stretching slightly. She noticed that some bones in her back cracked, going back into place, and she smirked.

Walking toward the hallway that was supposed to be where Elysia was, she noticed the girl was actually in the bedroom; a door before the bathroom. Walking inside cautiously, she frowned. "Elysia? It's dinnertime."

The little brunette was sitting on the foot of her mother's bed, looking at a frame on the dresser opposite of her. Elysia's little knees were pulled up against her chest, and her green eyes that matched her father's looked sad. Walking closer, Edward realized that the picture was of Maes Hughes, Gracia, and Elysia together in a family hug, looking warm and happy.

Questionably, Edward sat down next to Elysia, the bed sinking down to her weight. "Elysia?" she said softly, like a reassurance.

"Big sis, is good to hate daddy?"

Edward, blinking, looked appalled. "What? Why would you hate your father?" Edward had a faint feeling of where this was going, but didn't want to acknowledge it now. How long has this girl holding this kind of emotions in?

"He promised me. He said that he would come back." If Edward payed attention closely, she could hear the faint whine in Elysia's voice. Her eyes looked moist. She recalled another little girl saying the same thing about her father back in the past. "Why didn't he come back?"

A pause. "I'm sure you'll see him someday, Elysia." she knew that this wasn't a lie. Everyone would die one day, and she just couldn't say that her daddy would come back to life; Edward hated lying to Elysia. So this was as close as she could get the truth. "Don't hate your father. He didn't want to leave you, Elysia. He loved you and your mother very much; trust me, I was here even before you were born. I could tell." Edward saw that the little girl's lower lip was trembling. She spoke next with an alarmed tone. "If you just hate him, it will just cause you to be sadder, Elysia. All you can do is wait to see him. And you will see him. Trust me, okay?"

There was nothing for a moment. Then, "Big sis, my teacher explained to me what the meaning of the word 'dead' means a year ago."

Edward sucked her breath in sharply as large, fat tears started rolling down the face of the younger girl and she threw herself at Edward, sobbing loudly into her chest. There was nothing that she could do now, Ed thought miserably, as Elysia finished what neither wanted to hear out loud.

"An-and...that means daddy's not coming back, is he?"

She was silent, then, almost regretfully, she said: "No, he isn't."

.

.

It was when Roy Mustang stood there, frozen, did he realize that it was all too quiet.

Havoc had spilled his drink on him - thank god it was only water - but he needed a few tissues, for which he was led to the bathroom. From there, he heard his name from the room a little farther down. It sounded suspiciously like Elysia's, so he had gone to see if she would come to dinner; after all, he didn't see her there.

"...daddy's not coming back, is he?"

"...No, he isn't."

He didn't know what happened after; everything seemed like a blur. He saw the tears of the little girl, and he saw the tears of the older, blonde girl. When she spoke, her voice was soft and soothing; and Roy watched with wide eyes and felt a pang in his chest. Maybe it was because he was the reason why Maes died, why Elysia was fatherless, why she was being comforted by a random woman.

But she wasn't really random at all. He had noticed it, when she was telling of her own experience, that she had golden eyes. Sad, sad golden eyes. Like Edward. Maybe because it _was_ Edward. Maybe because he felt so out-of-place, he had cleared his throat to get their attention. Maybe.

She had looked at him, yet not really looked at him. Her eyes were clouded, probably in the memory of something else; they were glistening, and surely they couldn't be tears. Edward didn't cry. Just because she was a girl, didn't mean she was automatically weak as people usually assumed the female species to be. And Edward wasn't crying. She was reminiscing.

But then she did seem to look at him, and sat there stunned, before looking away from his face. Roy felt his throat oddly dry, with no particular reason. He caught the glint of his best friend's face as it reflected off the glossy surface of the picture laid at the table.

"You will speak of this to no one," Edward murmured as she held Elysia close to her chest and got up on her feet, wobbly. Her long hair, previously in a ponytail, had gotten so low; she retied it at the base of her neck with the best of her ability with only one hand. Roy nodded, and she walked past him, gently shifting the five-year-old's weight to her automail arm. She turned to Mustang, before rolling her eyes in exasperation. Roy couldn't help but think that she looked uncharacteristically tired.

"Well, are you coming?"

He said nothing, simply followed her.

Everyone was already eating when she arrived. Gracia stared at her, then at the girl in her arms, and Edward smiled apologetically. Roy was right behind her, towering over her, not sure what to do. He was about more than six feet, and Edward only reached up to his chest; it made sense now, actually, to tower over him - her.

"She fell asleep crying." Ed informed softly, feeling the weight of the girl being removed as Gracia had a horribly sad look on her face; Edward barely heard the small 'thank you' before the woman walked out of the room. Roy walked around her to sit down across from Riza, her eyes questioning him. Roy shook his head subtly - whatever happened, he didn't want to talk about it.

Alphonse looked worriedly at his sister. "Nee-san, are you - ?"

Edward shook her head, not letting Alphonse finish. "Tell Gracia that...I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm not that really hungry anyway." she lied, and she was sure that Alphonse could see through it. Remembering her manners - and the fact she wasn't a guy anymore, so it wasn't 'excusable' anymore _(how sexist)_ - she bowed slightly and hurried out of the room with uneven, long strides.

She grabbed her coat and book, making sure her boots were tightly fastened. She didn't wait to go outside to the icy coldness of the coming winter. the wind bit her cheeks and painted them red; she tugged the collar of her coat higher, aware of her long hair thumping against her back and her shoes clicking on the pavement every once or so.

Outside, it wasn't all that busy; in fact, it looked like people were starting to go in for the night. Odd, because Central was never empty of residents. Well, it wasn't _completely_ empty now, but there were few people than usual. Must've been that Christmas was nearing. It was what? Two weeks away? She had seen how people got hyped up and ready a month before things actually started.

The chilly winter breeze was rather out of place, the smallest of snowflakes starting to fall. When she breathed, there was a little puff of visible air that came out. Dark. The sky was getting dark. Dammit, she needed to move - even being the most agile and well-seasoned fighter in their little group, it didn't mean she was _always _looking for a fight. She would remember when Alphonse would keep beating her at all the hand-to-hand combats during their stay at Teacher's; that made sense, Alphonse was a boy, and that generally made the 'stronger' type. If anyone knew her or her Teacher though, their minds would be horribly changed; she may not be able to defeat her brother, and that was expected, but she sure could take down any man ten times her own size and weight mixed together.

"Hey, pretty," a slurred speech came from her left. Edward fingered the book in her pocket, it's rough spine and lettering indents across her dainty flesh fingertips. A shadow fell across her face as she felt a large, gruff hand grab her shoulder roughly and spin her around. "Wanna have some fun with me tonight?" he flashed what was supposed to be a charming grin, if it wasn't for the half-lidded eyes and strong smell of whiskey coming from his mouth. He stumbled while walking in his drunken stupor.

"No thanks, bastard," and to support her statement, she shoved off his hand with her flesh one, clutching it so tightly that it emitted a slight 'crunch' sound. How she hated perverts. Never did she get this attention as a guy (not much, anyway, because Alphonse in his towering suit of armor was always there) and having a wasted man think he could control her made her want to punch the stuffing out of a bag. With her automail arm, she clipped him in the jaw and he fell with satisfying thud at her feet. She smirked and turned to walk back on the street, but stopped as another guy - leaner, not as buff, probably sober - staring jaw-slacked, a cup with liquid that looked suspiciously like beer spilled on the sidewalk.

"What?" she snapped, feeling irritated with his staring. What the hell was _he_ looking at? If he was checking her out, another loser with no life...

The guy probably noticed what she was thinking, and flushed a deep red. He shook his head, and Ed noticed he had a rather bad..._acne_ problem, that helped on his curly brown hair that fell over his face limply. "N-nothing. It's just...I've never seen such an awesome right hook before."

"Uh...okay..." Edward stared at him weirdly. "My friend could do a lot better one than that, though." The thought of Winry and her furious wrench throwing abilities sent a glimmer of respect in her eyes.

"U-u-um..." the boy - well, technically, a man if he could drink, but the guy was so _skinny_ - stuttered, face flushing again as he stole a look at her. Edward found herself fingering the book in her pocket again, which sent a jolt through her reminding her that she had to get back home. If not to finish her book and forget about Elysia's tears, then at least feed herself. She was lying immensely when she said that she wasn't hungry.

Edward sighed, saving the other of the anxiety and awkwardness. "I'm done here. I have places to go." Without so much as a goodbye - why should she? Barely even knew the guy - she maneuvered around him and continued walking.

"Wait!" his hurried, garbled voice behind her caused her to pause, turning her head slightly. _What does he want now, dammit?_ It was cold and she was hungry. There was never more a lethal combination. "I-I-I'm Herald Lenny. Um. If you'd like, we could...hang out...sometime...?" Edward heard him finish reluctantly. She had to almost grin - was he really trying to _hit on her?_ She had to respect his courage, though. It was sort of stupid, however, to ask something something like that so spontaneously.

A flash of Alphonse filtered in her mind. Then her father. Havoc. Breda. Falman. Maes. Elysia. Gracia. Riza. Scheiska. Winry. Faces of the people she cared about - and at the end, even Mustang - _wait a second why the hell was he there -_ and she cleared her head. Her grin faded to a rather sad one, mirroring the smile Gracia wore earlier that day.

"I'm too young for you. It would never work out, so please don't try."

She walked away from a broken-hearted (read: rejected) guy in the street, did a favor to women everywhere by getting rid of another perverted bastard, and left with a slight taste of bitterness in the air to mingle with the snow.

.

.

"Nee-san..." Al groaned as his sister unwrapped a chocolate from it's covering and plopping it in her mouth. There was the sound of a blissful moan. Alphonse was unperturbed. "You knocked out a man in the middle of the street!"

Edward, not even bothering to ask how her little brother knew, chewed before swallowing and picking up another candy from the table. "He deserved it." she said defensively. "Pervert was tryin' to cop a feel." Alphonse sobered slightly at the mention of harassment. He sighed, then sat next to his older sister on the couch. She had still not changed out of the clothes she wore earlier, only boots off and legs crossed comfortably on the couch. Al took a chocolate from the table, following Ed's example.

After a small silence, he decided to speak up again. "...So, who was the guy that you rejected?"

Edward's automail hand suddenly crushed the candy she was holding, and a dark shadow fell over her face, much like the one she usually had when about to be pissed off. "Alphonse Elric, did you follow me home?" her voice slowed down to an eerily calm tone, and a reprimanding one. Alphonse chuckled nervously, remembering how much his older sister sounded like his mother when she wanted to. And his father when she wanted to. Hell, she sounded like _any_ authority figure in his life when she wanted to - even Teacher.

"...eheh. Well, I wanted t-to see if you were safe...?" he squeaked, suddenly deciding it was a bad choice. If it was anything, Edward hating being treated as weak. But to his surprise, she winced and a flush spread across her face. Her hair was out, wild, and she rather resembled a honey-topped strawberry. He opened his mouth to comment, but the shrill ringing of the doorbell stopped him. Edward shot him a dirty look, still blushing - _for who knows what reason _- and stood up to get the door.

He silently thanked Riza when she entered through the door. It would save him another night full of punishment in the form of wrestling for his little slip-up; shamefully, he always lost.

"Hawkeye," Ed was surprised, she forgot to use Riza's first name. Before the she could invite her in, Riza allowed herself in. "Okay...come in." she murmured a beat later. Damn blush was still on her face. She rubbed her flesh hand on her cheek to get rid of it while she walked to the sofa with no avail. Of course that wasn't the way to get rid of a blush. But remembering - what was his name? - Henry or Herald or something - with such hopeful eyes, looking at her, in such a way that she was sure no one ever looked at her before. But she didn't regret what she said; it was true. And yet, still the possibility, the want that was in his eyes made her flush. No-one ever looked at her that way before.

"Hello, Edward." Riza gave a charming smile. "Well, for now I should say Colonel. Here's the things you need for tomorrow to be filled out." Riza took out a bundle of papers about centimeter thick, with medium-small print from a tote bag she just noticed. Alphonse stared at her, stunned.

"You got promoted?" he asked. Ed nodded, distracted, wide eyes focused only on the paperwork. _Damn, Bastard wasn't complainin' for nothing._ She thought with a slight grimace. "You _carry_ that along _with _you?" she turned to Riza incredulously. Riza nodded professionally.

"It's necessary. Always alert, Ed. Plus, I've done it before." The insinuating hint in her voice did not go by unnoticed by either Elric sibling. Alphonse cracked a grin and Edward chuckled. Well, it sounded more of a light-hearted giggled now.

"I should be leaving; Black Hayate is at home, and he needs dinner." Riza's voice was kind, but short, as usual. Edward gave her a mock salute and smiled, the familiar Edward Elric shining through.

As Riza Hawkeye left the building, understanding struck her as she realized that the boy she had worked with for six years was actually part of the real Edward Elric all along.

.

.

Edward had the passing thought of visiting Elysia and Gracia, then decided against it. The wound from being there still stung a little; not that it was their fault, but it hurt. A lot. She would visit the later.

The blonde alchemist had spent most of her night working on the paperwork. Thank god for coffee and how she would always stay up late for days with no sleep. It sure gave her enough practice, and she was able to go by with only a few yawns.

Thankfully, now that she didn't have to pretend to be a guy anymore, she didn't have to weak the dreaded makeup anymore. Obviously, if she hadn't cover the more feminine features of her face, she would've been figured out much quicker. In her time, she was just a really pretty guy. Without the makeup, her lips were more fuller, her eyebrows less bushy and instead dainty and arching over wide eyes she didn't have time to hide. The color on her face was back to her fair ivory-rose, instead of the tan she had blended in.

So much easier, and it felt so much better. She hated having her face feel like there was a cake squashed on it. The wind caressing her bare cheeks was oddly comforting.

Still refusing to wear the uniform, she searched for her usual attire; but was gritting her teeth when she figured out that Alphonse had put them in the wash for her and they still weren't dry. She sighed and went to her suitcase that was still unpacked; surely, Winry would give her something to wear, seeing as the blonde girl was simply waiting for the day Edward would dress to her own gender.

She was surprised to see that it wasn't anything like a dress or skirt; in fact, it looked like more of Winry's old jumpsuits when she was working on automail. Ed didn't know if she packed the wrong thing or something, but this was definitely better than anything else. The baggy black pants hung to her hips, which was just fine. Winry had packed her a red sweatshirt, and Ed looked around before taking a black sock, clapping her hands and transmuting it to the sweatshirt so there was her signature flamel on it. She didn't really like the fact it hugged her frame when she put it on slightly, but didn't comment. It was seriously warm.

Edward mused if she could wear her boots with these, but Winry had set up for that too; did Al tell her to do this when they last visited or something? There were those new sneakers that every teenager was starting to wear; con-something? Converse, or the like, maybe.(1)Whatever; they were red, her favorite color, and she had no more of a reason to put them on. Her hair was in it's usual long braid that laid to her waist.

She was let in immediately, when she reached headquarters with the papers in neat manila folders, but the secretary did look at her a little weirdly. Edward ignored it and made her way to Colonel - sorry, _Major General _now, - office. They were all surprised to see her, strutting in as usual, before dropping the papers in front of Riza's face - and Mustang's, because they were in his office talking about something she _really _wanted no details of.

"I'm done with 'em!" she announced cheerfully, and Mustang raised an eyebrow as Riza critically eyed them.

"That's not much for a Colonel..." Mustang muttered under his breath, and Edward smirked. "You must have others."

"Colonel Elric already dropped those off to me last night after she finished them, sir," Riza cut in emotionlessly. Edward held back a grin at Mustang's twitching eye, and remembered how she had gone off to Riza's place while going shopping for more coffee. Riza eyed Roy pointedly. "Unlike another Colonel I used to know."

Edward burst out into chuckles, smothering them behind her hand. Roy muttered darkly and leaned back in his chair. Riza turned her critical eye to Edward.

"And Colonel Elric, sir, with all due respect - you must wear uniform." Now it was Roy's turn to chuckle as Edward's face became slightly ashen.

"But, but..." Edward looked around for a new excuse. Her brain came up with one very quickly. "...I can't! Because I need a new one - the one you got for me is...too...big." Against her will, Edward muttered the last part, clenching her teeth with every word. In any way you look at it, she was calling _herself _small. Admitting it made it worse.

Riza looked at her dubiously. "Alright, sir." She turned on her heel and grabbed Edward's flesh wrist, making the girl stumble after her. "Then we'll get you a new one now."

"But, but...Riza!"

.

.

Actually, the uniform was actually very comfortable. Edward was surprised at how much space she got; she awed at how it gave her the same flexibility as her old outfit. Plus, she didn't have to wear a military skirt unless it was for functions and civil dinners and the like. Plus, the flat, army-issued boots were a reassuring feeling. She was given a locker to put all her things in, and she was damn sure that it was going to be used to it's fullest.

Riza had this 'told-you-so' look in her eyes after she got out. It faintly reminded her Mustang's, but hers was more friendly - _and_ less irritating. Mostly because it disappeared a second after.

Riza had, however, led her to a new office, next to the Major General's. She could, if she wanted to listen closely, hear the laughs and little squabbles of her colleagues. When she had questioned Riza on this - why would she ever want to work next to _that_ bastard? - but the blonde woman's only answer was a smile and a 'just in case you need us close by.'

Edward didn't question. She had seen the paperwork on Mustang's desk.

The sherry-eyed Lieutenant Colonel told Edward that she would be getting her own secretary that would be coming in today. Edward had asked why he - Riza let it slip - wasn't coming earlier, and Hawkeye replied that it wasn't his time to clock in yet. Edward frowned and thought that she would need to change that. Despite loving to sleep, she knew that she was also a deep-sleeper and could get by with one or two hours - plus, she would have to get up earlier to go to work. Her secretary needed to be there too. Maybe she could get Alphonse to be her secretary...

While she mused over the thought, another stack of paperwork was set on the oak table of her spartan office by a random officer and she groaned.

About an hour and a half later, Edward yawned and stretched, feeling her bones pop in satisfaction. A rousing smile touched her lips, and she rubbed her eyes with a gloved fist. Thank God for her speed reading and skimming skills. She was able to sign all the papers that were needed, and make sure silly things like a new radio for the office that had a new one two months ago weren't wasting her time.

When she checked the time, it was still around 10 o'clock. She decided it was a palpable time to have her break, and she surely had her work done more efficiently than her superior when _he_ was a Colonel.

Edward grabbed a file from her desk, content on giving it to Hawkeye. She tied her military jacket around her waist, worker-style, and was thankful Riza gave her the long-sleeved turtle neck instead of the other short-sleeved shirt. It covered up her automail nicely, though hugged her stomach in an uncomfortable (to her, at least) way.

In the Mess, she spotted Havoc sitting at a long table with Falman and Breda, and looking around, she decided it would be best to sit with them. After all, it wasn't like she knew anybody _else_ in this godforsaken place.

Tucking the file under her arm, she hurriedly got a coffee - wonderful thing she discovered when she was fifteen and pulling all-nighters - black, strong, little sugar, and dropped down next to Havoc.

"Hey," she greeted a little breathlessly, letting the files fall to the table and taking a sip of her drink before setting it down and tucking a stray strand of long blonde hair behind her ear.

Havoc stared at her, before shaking his head. "I'll never get used to it."

"What?" Ed looked amused.

"You lookin' like...a girl."

"I _am._ A girl. Havoc."

She sighed inwardly and a muscle above her eyebrow twitched at the man's ignorance. It was starting to get annoying. Breda, across them with Falman, chuckled deeply, looking like he was extremely pleased with something.

"Still same old Ed, though." Breda grinned. "Ain't that right, shorty?"

_"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN AN ATOM, BASTARD?" _Edward snapped on cue, eyes flashing, teeth baring in a bare growl before they receded. She kept a ferocious frown on her face and the hand that held her drink tightened; thank god it wasn't the automail hand. Breda sweated a little before holding up his hands in surrender. Edward's voice was pitched higher than before, and Breda wondered how long she was covering it up. Grumbling, Edward took one look at her coffee before a light popped in her head.

Inwardly, she rejoiced. Finally, she could do stuff like this and no one would dare to lift a hand to hurt her. (Well, it wasn't like they did even before. She was scary in both boy and girl forms.) The coffee in her hand was now dripping over Breda, the warm drink dripping down his head and onto his clothes as Ed grinned maliciously and retreated with the cup in her hands, sitting back down on her spot.

Breda spluttered. Havoc was already trying to contain his chuckles. "C-chief!"

"You deserved that, for calling me short." Ed snapped. Then, she placed a finger to her lips and continued. "And for Riza. I heard you burned her building down."

Falman let out a snicker, and Havoc burst out in maniacal laughter, almost falling to the floor. Edward punched him in the arm with her normal fist, but it only caused the second lieutenant to choke slightly and continued laughing at Breda's misfortune. "Don't think you're off the hook that easily either!" Edward yelled in his ear. Havoc coughed and tried to control himself.

"...What exactly happened?" Ed glared at the newcomer, and glared harder when it was proven to be Roy Mustang. The man was just standing there, looking all smug and collected while Edward's cheeks were still flushed from anger and her hair was falling out of place.

"None of your fucking business." she said nastily, snatching her file before stomping away from the Mess with no coffee and an even sourer attitude. Roy looked at her retreating back bewildered, then turned to Falman, the only one who seemed to be composed. He ignored the fact that everyone only took one look at them before realizing who it was and returning to their meal; it was that bad in headquarters.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Falman?"

Warrant Officer Falman cleared his throat. "Second Lieutenant Breda called the Colonel short, sir. I believe she reacted as usual."

"By spilling coffee all over my subordinate?" he asked in disbelief. Falman nodded. "Correct."

"And it's hot!" Breda complained from where he was over at the table. He was mopping up the beverage with napkins and a recruit brought him a towel to wipe his face. Havoc snickered. "Well, I think she's using restraints now."

Roy snorted, taking a long drink of his own coffee. "If that was restraint, I wonder how she managed to keep it all locked up disguised as a guy."

.

.

Grumbling under her breath, Edward practically stomped through the halls, the dark aura emitting around her and effectively clearing the hallways. Most of the soldiers knew that the Fullmetal Alchemist was really a girl, but it was still scary seeing her or getting her mad. In fact, _everyone_ was still scared of getting her mad. An angry Elric was very, very terrifying.

Ed's destination was actually Major General Mustang's office. She was half-sure Riza was there, and this was her last part of paperwork today - thank god for her automail hand that didn't tire. She could go three hours without stopping, which is exactly what she did. That'll show that bastard General...

"Hey, Riza!" Ed called, looking at her papers to make sure they were the right ones, "I have the last bunch - "

Her eyes looked up to see Riza's sherry ones, and the eyes of another familiar person she had met a few days ago. Edward's eyebrows raised, and she stared at the officer - a Private, she noticed - with curly brown hair, lanky stature, and a bad acne problem. She blinked, then sighed irritably under her breath, brows furrowing. "Oh, it's you - that Henry guy."

'Henry', as Edward so called him, gulped and flushed profusely. Riza almost looked like she was pitying the new soldier. "Colonel, sir, this is Herald Lenny, you're new secretary."

"Reporting for d-duty, ma'am!" Herald saluted sharply, small stuttering slip-up going faithfully unnoticed. Edward's face twisted in a displeasured way. She handed the files to Hawkeye, who nodded and walked out, and turned to Herald.

"Ma'am? Call me sir - that's what you use for Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye, am I correct?" Herald nodded. "Good. Then I'm not gonna be any different. And another thing, Private - you have to come in earlier, say 'bout...sevenish? I'm punctual; well, when I _want_ to be, really - and I need you here first thing in the morning. No shit shall be taken. Is that understood?"

Herald nodded again, standing stock still. "Yes, sir!" Edward was pleased to hear his voice was clear and steady. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad; he just didn't seem like the one to think for himself. Ah well. She would fix that later - tactics picked up from Riza Hawkeye and Olivia Armstrong made her think she was quite the commanding officer. Hopefully, she wouldn't turn out like her own bastardy superior.

"Dismissed." she waved her hand, and Herald stepped out of the room in quick, hurried steps. Edward, at a loss to do in her own office (no paperwork, no work, no people) frowned. She had done all her work in advance - a total surprise, even to her, and decided just to go to see her colleagues. After all, what else was there to do? And besides, she did have four hours left.

Outside the hallway was devoid of people, save a few secretaries clicking away at their computers and phones and forms. Edward slipped on her military issued jacket and slipped into the hallway, braid thumping against her back and boots making quiet, clicking and clacking sounds against the tile.

Unfortunately for her, there was no one at Mustang's office either. Where the hell _was _everyone? She looked around, miserable, until a voice interrupted.

"Fullmetal?"

Edward turned to see Roy Mustang, the bastard General himself, with an eyebrow raised and an amused smile-turning-smirk on his face. Edward's eyebrow twitched at the sight of that hated expression.

"What?" she said.

If he wanted, Ed was sure Roy looked like he wished to roll his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"It's boring in my office." she replied back simply, not believing her ears; a minute and a half so far, and no screaming had taken place. She hated the fact that there was a little whine in her voice.

"So you come to this one." The dark haired man pointed out the obvious slowly. Edward really did roll her eyes. "No duh."

For some reason, Mustang looked affronted. "What, do you think that this office is some sort of entertainment?"

"With the stuff that goes around here, I would definitely say so, hell yeah," Edward snickered, hand covering her mouth. Roy looked like he was thinking it over, and then nodded, apparently agreeing. Edward was lost in the incredibleness of it all; was she and Mustang actually _agreeing?_ The bastard had been uncharacteristically soft ever since they found out she was a girl...but he didn't seem any out of the ordinary other than that, either.

Now that she thought about it, she and Mustang would have made good allies and friends, if it wasn't for that bastard-ness of his and her stubborn head. She wondered why they didn't try it now - but their ongrowing animosity was a great obstacle in the way. Should she try to get rid of it...? An easy relationship with the bastard might benefit her; no drama and no misconceptions if the need ever arises. A good ally - because even if she didn't want to admit it, Mustang _was_ a person that you would want on your good side. Perhaps she should. A small, indignant part of her told her that the quarrels, however fun and stress-releasing, were also tiring in their own way.

Hesitant, but never one to back down from a challenge, Edward stuck out her flesh hand. Mustang stared at it uncomprehendingly, face slipping from it's mask and showing him being temporarily bewildered. She didn't look at his face. "Another reason I came here. Truce, bastard?"

She didn't use words to explain why. She didn't say anything that would help him understand. She didn't say that she lied and made it up right now, didn't really elaborate. But she didn't feel Mustang's curious gaze on the top of her head, before the shuffling of fabric was heard, and a warm hand encompassed hers and they shook on it.

She knew he understood.

.

.

It was like a load was removed from her back. Edward had left immediately afterwards with the truce, Mustang informing her that all the other officers were probably at the main floor for the announcement that the Fuhrer was giving. Edward frowned and questioned why Mustang wasn't there; Roy informed her with a tight face that Hawkeye had 'suggested' that he stay up here to finish the important paperwork while she go and get the intel from the Fuhrer. Edward figured she didn't get the memo due to the new office movement.

Roy had given her a smirk upon her leaving, which caused her to rethink; was she really doing the right thing, making peace with that bastard? But mulling over it a few minutes later, she decided that his smirk was somehow _different;_ more tired than anything.

She had made it down to the main floor in under a minute. She was on the second floor, anyways, and it didn't seem like much of a hassle. She had learned that whatever other people had to say - whether they were willing to or not - helped in the long run.

" - and the Cretan, Drachman, and Arbecian embassies shall come within the month(2). I expect the Amestris Military to give them their best, proper, Amestrian welcome." The Fuhrer, President Grumman, nodded and gave a mysterious smile. "That is all. Dismissed."

Edward stood still, bewildered, as the military chorused a 'Yes, your Excellency!' and dispersed, leaving her standing forward in a crowd that moved back. Some created a clear path for her, with salutes and sharp parade rests and 'Colonel, sir!'. The Fuhrer was nowhere in sight.

From what she had heard, she deducted that Amestris was trying to finally create peace between it's neighboring countries - depending on the damage they did for all these years, the relationship was going to be pretty strange.

"Lenny," she called when the aforementioned man looked like he was just about to pass her by. Herald turned, surprised, at the usage of his last name but flushed light pink when he saw that it was his blonde CO. Edward frowned unnoticeably when she caught this; it wouldn't do her good to have her subordinate (wow it felt weird to say that) to have a crush on her (especially since it wouldn't be returned, despite being flattering.) "You listened to the Fuhrer's announcement, right?" Herald nodded, walking over. "Write me a full reported account on it. Every detail. If you forget, as Warrant Officer Falman to help you - he's that stiff guy over there." Edward made a hand motion toward the gray haired man. She nodded, deciding that was it, and walked past him. "That's all."

The guy, Lenny, was left staring after her, feeling very useless and a pushover. (Well, he kinda was.)

.

.

Those other three and a half hours passed fast. Edward did some more work, stopped the Information Department from exploding, joked around with Havoc and Breda, ignored her secretary for the rest of the evening so he could do his work, and was told that she had a meeting with the Fuhrer at three o'clock tomorrow morning.

While walking back to her apartment for her shift - the sky was turning dark blue and gray, even if it _was _only five the days were shorter - and she sighed and snuggled into her sweatshirt tighter. She had changed out of the military uniform which was now in a plastic bag to take home, wearing her outfit that she came in. To her immediate relief, there were no stares to her persona.

Edward was actually walking down a brightly lit street, filled with christmas lights and glowing faces. Edward stopped short when she saw a small bundle bump into her legs, causing her to stop and look down in surprise.

Sitting on the pavement was a little girl, no more than five or perhaps six. She was shivering, looking terribly frightened with cuts on her cheek and rags on her little frame. She looked up at Ed with wide hazel eyes, dark brown hair matted with dirt and long enough to tangle. Edward was about to open her mouth, before another person interrupted.

"Oi! You li'le brat!" the speaker was a gruff man, with unfocused eyes and a stagger in his walk. "How many time do I 'ave tah say tha' yer not allo'ed tah go..." his speech was slurred, and Edward's eyes widened as she realized that she had to deal with _another _drunk. But depending on the little girl's reaction (she had scrambled up at the sight of the man and scurried around Edward, clutching the fabric of her baggy pants tightly) and the wounds on her face, this was clear abuse.

"Oh, no more," Ed replied coolly, eyes flashing dangerously and voice lowering an octave. "You won't have to worry about her any more, don't worry."

The man showed confusion, then rage. "Wha'? No! She's not even mah daughter! You can take 'er!" he growled and spit at their feet, turning around wobbily and entering an ally before a loud thump was heard. Edward stared at what happened, running it through her mind; did the guy think she was saying something else? He wasn't the father, so...

She shook her head, thinking that this would be resolved at home. She also needed to put the little girl in a foster home, so that she could have a better family. Speaking of the little girl, Edward looked at the little girl, smiling slightly. The girl was looking at her with doe eyes.

Removing tiny fingers and crouching down, she asked gently, "Are you okay...sweetie?" Ed saw how shaken the girl was, so added - with difficulty - the last part. But what she didn't - well, maybe she did - expect was the little girl's eyes fill up with tears.

But for sure, she didn't expect what happened next. The little girl started to cry, throwing willowy arms around her neck and sobbing into her shoulder. "Mommy!"

"Mommy?" Edward repeated, stunned.

.

.

* * *

A/N- Geez, I make things go too fast. Should I change that? I think I make things go to fast. But I hate filler chapters. Like, hate them.

A/N- Poor, poor Ed. Well, you have to! I hope the personalities are in order. Or else, there really is no point of this story.

(1)- About this, Amestris is an advanced country; at least is was in the 1920's, more so than our time. So I figured if they have cars then [1920's - no cars] and if they have such advanced science, they must be advancing in other areas too, up to almost 2005 in our world. And yes, converse did exist back then, so I shall put it here. No cellphones, however. Sorry, maybe in the next generation. :)

(2)- Y'know how Germany is Amestris's parallel universe? Here, Creta [KREE-tah] is Greece, Arbecia [Ar-BEK-eeyah] is Arabia, Drachma [Drakh-ma] is Russia, Xing [Don't-know-how-to-pronounce-this-one figure-it-out-on-your-own-sorry] is China, and there will be some more countries that I shall make up soon. [/nods] oh, and Aerugo [Ah-EE-ru-go] is England. Wow, the geography here is _so _messed up. Haha.

:3

-Summer

.

.


	3. Chapter III: Vendetta Conspiracy

A/N- Saa...I have a lot of stuff to do. DON'T JUDGE ME!

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r three.

_"Mother's arms are made of tenderness,_  
_and sweet sleep blesses the child who lies therein."_

* * *

_"Mommy?" Edward repeated, stunned._

The little girl had fallen unconscious in her arms after the little episode. Alarmed, Edward swept her up and grunted slightly; she decided that the best thing right now to do was to go to Gracia's house, which - hopefully - she would be able to reach soon.

But she remembered that Gracia's house was on Mayflower St., and her own home was a block away, By the way this little girl was bleeding, Edward thought that she might even die before that happened.

Okay, so maybe not really. But she'd loose a lot of blood.

With nothing else in mind, she just decided to head home; hopefully, something could be done about the blood. Edward saw the large gash across her left arm that was still red, but now it was buried in her bright sweatshirt and by the the blood had clotted and (hopefully) stopped for now.

The blonde found herself gartering many stares. Of course, who wouldn't if they were carrying a little girl that was terribly beaten passed out in their arms? It might help the fact that she was carrying the girl with ease. Edward looked at the street name: _Old Fleming Rd. _She groaned as the realization that she probably turned at a different corner hit her.

"Why am I so stupid?" she muttered to herself, not really meaning it. "Why does this _always_ happen to me?"

"Fullmetal?"

Edward turned her head to see Roy Mustang, looking at her in surprise. Oh yeah. This day was just chock _full_ of luck for her. Not. She sighed and remembered the truce they had this evening; now it was almost eight 'o clock and she had a child in her arms, and now she had to deal with Mustang. Why couldn't the higher deity up there just leave her the hell alone?

(Sorry Ed. This is your story. Can't really do that.)

"Yes, Mustang?" she answered testily.

Instead of looking annoyed, he looked amused. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you live on the other side of the road(1)?" Edward frowned and shifted the girl in her arms from one hip to another. "And why do you have a kid in your hands and why is she bleeding?" he asked again, not waiting for her answer and sounding urgent.

"I caught her in...a predicament," Edward started cautiously. "and I couldn't just leave her there."

Roy's dark eyes looked at her, and for once she noticed that he was out of uniform; it wasn't as if she hadn't seen him in civilian clothing, but it was weird to see him so defeated. But he was still able to look at her with those piercing eyes, black, glinting, seemingly endless. They just stood there, looking at each other, in some sort of battle between them, but it ended as soon as Roy sighed. "Follow me."

Confused, Edward stumbled when Roy pushed past her and not knowing what the do, hurried to catch up. "What? Where are you going?" demanded Ed.

"You're too far from your home. My apartment is closer."

The one sentence made her frown, for who knows why. Well, I do, but you know what - you won't know until later. Edward followed Mustang unhappily, plans ruined for going home. It wasn't as if she _hated _Mustang (just really really really disliked him) and she knew that he wouldn't try anything with her, it just made her feel uncomfortable. Over the years, she had come to have a grudging respect for the man, and if she dug deep - Edward would even admit injuring herself for his sake. But not giving away her life - that was for Alphonse, Winry, Pinako, and perhaps Gracia and Elysia only. But that was as far as their relationship went; she didn't even know how Roy thought of it.

Speaking of Roy, he was right - his apartment building _was_ closer, only about a few feet away.

Once there, she saw it was a large, brownstone building, with many windows that were attached to balconies. Some women were out, hanging up wet clothing to dry in the sun, while others were reading books and she even spotted one old lady, hair grayed to a white, knitting. (Who does these things in the nighttime, anyway? Even if it _was_ considerably warmer than the morning.)

"It's so...quaint." she said finally, not finding the right words to say. Roy raised an eyebrow. "What? It is? I didn't expect you to live in a place like this." she told him defensively, shifting the little girl on her shoulders.

"What place _did_ you expect me to live in?" he snorted. A part of him seriously didn't want to know, knowing Edward's large imagination, and a part of him was too curious to let the opportunity pass.

Ed shrugged. "I dunno. Like, a mansion. Or something."

"A mansion?"

"Well, you seem like the one to overdo things." she stated in a matter of fact tone.

With a dry glare, Roy retorted: "You're one to talk."

Edward sent him a scathing look.

.

.

Inside was almost as Edward had imagined it (which did not insinuate that she ever actually _thought_ about it). The walls were a beige color, two sofas sitting opposite from each other in the living room portion with a loveseat on the side, and a mahogany coffee table in the middle with newspapers and a mug sitting on it. There was hardwood floors, and a rug thrown over, making it tickle her _two_ bare feet - oh how she loved that - and there were several doors and archways in which she could see a kitchen, a bathroom, and probably some bedrooms. It was rather large for an apartment.

"I suppose it is." Roy replied back, and Edward gave a little startled jump when she noticed that she said it out loud.

Not finding anything else to say, Roy went on to point at a random room. "There's a spare bedroom. Inside is a bathroom; there should be bandages there." The hidden gist of the last sentence was left untold: _for emergencies._

Edward nodded blankly and made her way to the said bedroom, opening it and finding it large enough for two. She placed the girl who had stopped bleeding on the bed, and went to the small bathroom door.

It felt weird to be in Mustang's house. She knew that she wouldn't stay - it was only for a temporary hour or two, and then she'd make her way back to her own home. It was getting late, too - nine o'clock, and she couldn't believe that it wasn't even three days ago when her secret was revealed.

She snapped out of her musings as the box of bandages fell from her hand. Probably not a good idea to be thinking right about now.

When she inspected the little girl, Edward almost grimaced at all the different injuries there were; a slashed arm, a sprained ankle, lots of bruises here and there, and cuts too. She cleaned up the dried blood on her arm - and her body. Seems like there were multiple wounds like that and even though they were not life-threatening, they must have hurt to a girl as small as her. Amazingly, there were no bruises where clothing couldn't cover; seems like someone wanted this to stay secret.

Bandages were wrapped tightly around a little arm after rubbing alcohol was added, and she bandaged up her ankle for good measure too. Edward mused that she would get Alphonse to take the little girl to the hospital tomorrow.

While Edward was putting away the supplies, there was a small groan from the bed. Looking over, she frowned and saw the little girl waking up. Perhaps this was her chance to get some information.

When those eyelids fluttered open, they were first hazy then on full alert. When she didn't see any trouble, she looked at Ed with those wide, hazel doe eyes. Then, in a crackly voice she said, "Mommy?"

An unknown pang went through Edward. She shook her head. "I'm not mommy. I'm Ed. Who're you?" she spoke in a gentle tone often used when she was reprimanding Alphonse in a good mood.

The girl leaned back, shy. "I-I'm Melissa." she looked around. "I-I'm not in t-t-trouble, a-are I?" she said, looking shaky and stuttering over her words. Edward shook her head.

"Well, Melissa, how old are you?"

"Five."

Suffice to say, Edward was surprised. She wasn't even this small when she was five - perhaps all the beatings that were no doubt given to Melissa took their toll on not only the mind - _she looked scared of everything in this room goddammit_ - but also her body - _five year olds are really supposed to be bigger. And fatter. Is she eating?_

With a slightly reproachful look in her eyes, Edward said, "Well, Melissa, would you like something to eat?" Melissa brightened, but then her face fell.

"But I didn't do any work yet."

Involuntarily, Ed's eyes hardened and her body stiffened. "You don't _need _to work for food, Melissa," she said. "You don't have to be responsible for anything. All you have to do is eat, laugh, and sleep. Got that?"

The little girl nodded, albeit confusingly. _I want to rip that bastard's heart out when I find him.._. she thought, mind wandering darkly over to the drunk man she met - the second one - and she envisioned her automail being in his face. Even still, Edward stood up and smiled disarmingly. "Come on, let's get you something to eat."

"Okay...mommy." the little girl slipped her small hand into Edward's flesh one, and hugged herself closely to her pant's leg. Edward didn't bother correcting her this time.

When she walked into the living room - it was the only way she could see to get into the kitchen - and say Roy reading some kind of alchemy book with a cup of hot coffee next to him. Abruptly, Edward was reminded of her coffee machine and home. _I really need some of that,_ she thought bitterly.

"Hey! Ba - Mustang," she corrected herself, and Roy eyed her warily. He seemingly knew she was here and started to restrict her cursing. "she's hungry, and I'm getting her some food, so you fridge is probably going to be empty by the time I'm done."

A large surprise to Edward - Mustang looked confused. "What?"

Edward rolled her eyes. "Didn't you hear? _I'm going to cook something for Melissa." _Roy figured out very quickly that Melissa was the girl that was clutching on to Ed for dear life, but then looked amused and somewhat panicked at the thought of Edward cooking.

"Ah - you see - here's the thing," he started off, looking rather embarrassed. Edward raised an eyebrow at his suspicious behavior. _Mustang is never embarrassed. Why is he now?_ "I...don't cook."

Silence.

"What?"

Roy sighed. "I mean, I usually get take outs or eat at the office. I don't really have anything that could be used to...cook a homemade meal with." he looked at Edward in surprise. "And nevertheless, I didn't know you cooked."

Roy watched as Edward's cheeks flamed a bright pink - from being embarrassed, or simply mad that he didn't have food, he didn't know. "Shut up," she mumbled furiously, and he could sense something in those words that led to a memory she probably didn't want to talk about. "I'll see what I can do." Ed grabbed Melissa's hand again and they both went into the kitchen.

He hoped that she would make enough to feed _him_ too. (After all, he was hungry.)

.

.

Edward was stunned.

_Does this bastard eat at _all?

His fridge, his pantry, his cabinets, all were just _empty._ Well, perhaps she was stretching the truth a little bit, but it was in a seriously bad condition. The food, not the cabinets themselves.

She heard a tiny growl, and saw Melissa rub her stomach a little wistfully. Sighing, she took out only thing she could find - a package of bread that looked almost stale, and a jar of pickles. She scowled.

"Mommy, can I sleep?" Melissa said for beside her. Edward looked at her then at the little girl. Suddenly, remembering that she had food at home, Edward promptly smacked herself in the head. She only came to Mustang's house because Melissa needed to be treated! Now that she was, they could both go home and Edward could find a proper home for her...

Admittedly, she had no idea why this didn't come to her at first. It was weird, because she felt rather comfortable in this kitchen. Odd.

Well, not anymore. She had to get out. It was like a rush - she had her high, now she was on the crash. Well, that was what it felt like. She noticed the strained, stuffy silence between her and Mustang as soon as she entered the door, and she couldn't wait to get out of it. The truce that was only done a few days ago seemed like forever. She sighed and told Melissa that they were going to her home.

Melissa nodded obediently and when Edward went out to the living room, she saw that Roy was sleeping on the sofa, book over his face. Edward ignored it and started to walk, but stopped when Melissa tugged on her sleeve.

"What?"

Melissa didn't answer, but instead took a folded square that sat the edge the opposite sofa. Edward watched in wonder as the little girl shook out the square, which turned out to be a blanket, and spread it clumsily over Roy. Then she returned to the blonde's side, once again clutching her hand.

Edward chuckled a little; this girl was so different from how she was when she was little.

As Edward walked out the door and closed it tight, perhaps she did feel a little guilty that Roy didn't eat anything.

.

.

When Edward returned home, she checked her fridge for food first; she found leftover casserole that Alphonse probably made. Edward cracked a smile when she remembered the first few days when she tried to teach Al how to cook, seeing as how he didn't know all those years in armor...

_"Like this, sis?" Al asked, adding too much flour to the mixture upon the table. He was still extremely thin, having only regained his body a few days ago. Ed was beside him, hair up in a ponytail, looking apparently feminine for once - she decided that Al needed to have proper care, and even though Winry was there for that, the lemon-blonde went to the market to leave the siblings in peace. Plus, Edward had a nagging suspicion that they would end up kissing on the counter top than actually cooking. _

_Edward borrowed one of Winry's dresses, because her own clothes were under hostage by the mechanic. It was up to her knees and it covered her automail with long sleeves. and Edward wore her glove on one hand. The other was bare. She was also wearing an apron that was a little too tight for her liking, but she let it go. After all, it wasn't like anyone else would ever see her like this. _

_Looking at Al's incorrect measure, she shook her head. "It's like alchemy, little brother. You need to know the exact amounts to put in, how much to put in, when to do it, and that will give you the final product." She knew that this was the only way to teach Alphonse - like her, he often thought everything in the sense of logical laws. _

_"Oh..." his eyebrows came together in a furrow. "No wonder you're good at cooking, sis. You're so good at alchemy." _

_Edward didn't blush under his praise, but her face did get a little hot. She grinned proudly and stretched to ruffle her little brother's bangs - he had seemed to hit is growth spurt hard. "Aw, cooking isn't that hard once you get the hang of it Al! It's mostly about dedication, and knowing what goes together. C'mon, try that again. A few cups only..."_

_Thankfully, Edward didn't have to spend long in the kitchen with Al - under her, Winry, and Pinako, Alphonse had joined them in the ranks of the cuisine. _

_"I still don't have that taste," he said abruptly one day in the middle of dinner Pinako had made. Granny looked like she knew what Alphonse was talking about, but Winry and Edward didn't. _

_"What taste, Al?" Winry asked, looking confused and bewildered. _

_Alphonse looked at his stew almost ashamedly. "Well, each of your cooking tastes different. Granny's tastes like...Izumi-sensei's, sort of. Winry, yours tastes like Gracia-san's, almost. And Ed's...big sis's taste like mom's...but not really. I don't know." _

_Winry looked surprised, then pleased. Edward's eyes had widened, and she adopted a blush while Granny chuckled. "Of course, Al. Everyone's taste is almost like someone else's, with something of their own." her eyes flashed behind her glasses. "Maybe because those people are the most important to you?" _

_"Al..." Edward reached forward and brushed hair out of her younger brother's eyes, something she did when she was in a rare fit of motherly or sisterly comfort. Alphonse rather like it, and it was one thing he rued when he lost his body. "You'll have that taste too. Don't worry so much over it. And I can tell you right now - it'll be damn good!" _

_"Ed! Don't use that kind of language at the table!"_

She turned on the stove and took out the casserole from the fridge, placing it in a pan and setting it over the fire on a low setting to let it warm. She turned around to see Melissa, staring at her inquisitively.

"Mommy, what're you doing?" she asked. Edward gave her a grin. "Making food for you, of course."

Problematic to her, Edward had already warmed up to the little girl, and Melissa had done the same. It was a little unnerving, having someone look at her with such eyes of innocent adoration - w_ell, Al did that when they were younger, but now his eyes weren't innocent anymore _- and it sent a warmth throughout her when Melissa called her 'Mommy'. Even though she adored children (and they adored her in return) Melissa made her want to go in front of a bullet if ever needed, with just one of those looks.

"Really?" Tiny footsteps came across, and she tiptoed to see the casserole warming up, but she couldn't, seeing as how even when she tiptoed she only reached up to Edward's thigh. Smirking slightly, she picked the little one up and rocked her on her hip, an arm under to hold her from falling. She frowned when she noticed how light Melissa was. "How old are you again, Mel?"

Melissa brightened at the new nickname. "Five, Mommy."

"I'm not your mom, Mel." Edward sighed. "You're rather light for a six-year-old. Did you eat anything...for the last few days?" she asked cautiously. not wanted to tread on the tender subject of that man who must've been her guardian.

Melissa shook her head. "No Mommy." she said dutifully. Edward thought of correcting her again, but left it alone. Is seemed that even if Melissa knew that Edward wasn't her mother, she thought of the blonde as one anyway and made it her duty to call her that.

Edward turned off the stove, and with one flesh hand she picked up the hot pan and gently slid the food to the plate, making sure all of it came off. Then setting Melissa down on the small island in the middle of the kitchen, she also put the plate right beside her.

"Eat," she prodded, making a mental note that she had to buy a new table to have meals in. Melissa didn't hesitate, shoving food in her mouth as if she didn't get fed properly - which she probably didn't - and Edward stared at her throughout the whole thing, amused. "Go slower," she ordered, and the girl did so. With her stomach full, Melissa looked at the plate then at the blonde alchemist. There was a stricken expression across her face.

"Oh no!" she looked on the verge of tears. "I didn't leave any for mommy!"

Edward blinked and she smiled - one that flickered when the black and white memory of a drunken man passed her mind - and placed a cool automail hand on a head of brown hair. "Don't worry about me, I ate. You wanna go to sleep now, Mel?" Melissa looked dubious, so sure that she was going to get hit for her un-thoughtfulness. But instead, her new 'mommy' simply smiled that sweet smile that Melissa was slowly coming to love, and tell her it was no problem. She liked it far better than Richard, the other man.

In a split-second decision, she raised up her arms in a fit of childishness; Edward looked faintly surprised, but succumbed to her whims by picking her up again. She felt the weight of a head resting on the crook of her neck; Edward frowned and sifted through her mind for places to sleep. Surely, she couldn't put the kid on the sofa, and she didn't have an extra bed...

"I wanna sleep with Mommy," Melissa mumbled into her neck, surprising Edward. Her head was lolling back and forth, looking as if she was on the brink of unconsciousness.

"Y-you what?"

Melissa mumbled again, but made no more sound. Edward looked around awkwardly, as if someone was watching her this second. Grimacing slightly in resign, she brought Melissa with her to her bedroom.

.

.

Edward noticed that she gartered many looks. Now it just wasn't one of admiration and leer (as it previously was) but of something different; their eyes traveled to her, then to her little companion faithfully walking by her side and holding on to the half-skirt like garment of her uniform.

Honestly, Edward had no where to put Melissa during her hours of work. Melissa didn't want to be anywhere without her new 'mommy'.

The solution was fairly simple, however problematic: bring her to work.

The first to notice was Herald Lenny, her secretary. He had met her with his usual 'good morning' as she picked up her cup of coffee - Edward replied wearily to him back. He was up at the time she dictated, at least.

"Ah, sir, you have a meeting with the Fuhrer today," he said unsurely, as if this might light a fuse that he didn't want to touch. And it did.

"_What?_"

Edward rubbed her temples. "When did this happen? Why? What the..."

"Yesterday, sir. Your meeting is in an hour." Lenny watched as his superior calmed down visibly, but then his eyes traveled to Melissa who was holding on to the cloth of her uniform tightly, looking up with bright eyes, bandages over her arm. "Um...sir? Who is that?"

Edward looked down to Melissa, who was staring at every thing with a sort of childish wonder. "This is...Melissa, Lenny." she said, wondering how she was supposed to phrase this. Before she could say more, Melissa face Lenny and opened her mouth, and Edward couldn't stop it before the damage was done.

"Mister, are you a friend of mommy's?"

Lenny's eyes widened, and his head snapped toward the blonde. Edward flushed and shook her head. "Don't get the wrong ideas, Sergeant. She just calls me that out of habit."

Lenny nodded, but didn't look fully convinced. He gave Edward a list of things she was to do today, and the first was to get some forms from Riza for the new State Alchemist department; one that she would be in charge of now.

Riza was in the other office, and Edward hesitated greatly before going in. In fact, she even told Melissa to keep quiet for most of the time, so not to allow rumors to spread around. Melissa nodded faithfully, and made a show of locking her mouth and throwing away the key; Edward chuckled. She had never seen more of a docile child.

"Hey Chief. Morning." Jean said from his desk, smiling lazily. Edward replied with a "Morning." and it sufficed for the whole office. No one mentioned anything of the little girl, but then -

"Who's the kid?"

Edward had to repress the urge to shout out that _I'm not a kid I'm seventeen you freaking idiot _but she knew he wasn't talking about her. "This is Melissa," she said. "I found her on the street and I'm taking care of her now. You guys _will_ be nice to her."

The underlying threat was fully available, and was somewhat akin to the threats she would give out when someone said anything closely related to badmouthing Alphonse. Suffice to say, everyone nodded, not being able to bear having another Riza on their hands. Especially the way the two blonde women were becoming quick friends.

"Ehe...of course, Chief."

Breda's answer caused Edward to beam at him in satisfaction. Then, she looked around, frowning suddenly. "Where's Riza?" she said.

Jean shrugged. "I dunno. She's usually here at seven, but...I think she went off to deliver papers to someone. Wouldn't tell. I think Mustang put her up to it." Edward nodded, taking this information all in stride. So...if she had a meeting today with the Fuhrer, and Riza was supposed to give her the work for the new Department, then she'd have to give the permissible paperwork to the Fuhrer...

_Who's also her grandfather..._

Yeah, that was figured out pretty quickly.

"You guys take care of Mel for me, I need to go somewhere," Edward said distractedly, pushing Melissa toward them with a gentle tug. Melissa stumbled slightly and blushed, afraid in front of so many new people. "Don't you dare hurt her, or you'll be _dead._" And with that, she fled the room in a very un-professional manner.

There was a silence.

"So...do you like chess, Mel?"

.

.

Edward knocked on the door of the Fuhrer's door - well, she was _about _to, actually, when there was a shoulder on her hand and she was jerked around. She met face to face with shrewd eyes that glared at her.

"Excuse me, but do you have an appointment to just barge in on the Fuhrer's personal matters?" The speaker was a woman, most presumably in her late twenties. She had dark skin like the color of mocha and thin copper colored hair that matched her eyes pulled back. She had a strict face that made Edward want to push her away, knowing that this was just another person in the way of her and her goal.

And she was, right of now. Edward shoved the hand off her shoulder, feeling pride in the woman's most surprised look. "Don't touch me." she said menacingly. The woman, who had the rank of a Warrant Officer and was most probably the Fuhrer's secretary, sent her a scathing look. Edward returned it with full force.

"Well, _Colonel,_" she started, apparently noting the blonde's own rank, "It's mandatory to schedule a meeting. No appointment, no meeting."

Edward scowled. "If you would _check,_ Warrant Officer, and do your job instead of pissing at me, you would _see _that the Fuhrer has _asked _me to come visit him." Edward watched in sadistic satisfaction as the woman's eyes widened and she fumbled, eyes darting to her desk and then back to the Colonel.

"But - "

The door opened in front of Edward, revealing a slightly frazzled Riza Hawkeye. Riza looked faintly stunned for a second, before turning to Edward. "You're not supposed to be in for another ten minutes, Ed."

_It was that early? Good thing I came._ Edward shrugged, misplacing her own coincidence as instinct. "Punctuality, I suppose. Plus, I heard you had some files for me...?" she trailed off, raising an eyebrow. The Warrant Officer behind them was forgotten, and she went back to her own desk.

Riza smiled. "It's with the Fuhrer. I originally wanted to give it to you, but Gran - his excellency wanted to look over it beforehand."

"It's okay if you call him grandpa, you know," Edward said. "No one'll court martial you for it."

Riza's only answer was a flicker of another smile, before she walked past Edward and into the hallway.

Edward, meanwhile, walked into the Fuhrer's office.

.

.

"So, you like drawing?"

There was a little chatter inside his office which Roy Mustang could hear from the outside, which annoyed him somewhat. They had plenty to do, especially after the whole 'Promised Day' escapade and the coup d'etat, so they had no absolute time to laze around. Where was Riza? His men seemed like they were playing with a baby than doing work.

His guess wasn't far from the truth, really - when he came into the office that day, he saw Jean, Breda, Fuery, _and _Falman crowding over a little girl, whom he recognized as Melissa from last night. Apparently, she recognized him too, and she beamed.

"Hello, Uncle!" she chirped happily. She looked a _lot _better than she had yesterday. Jean chuckled, finding this as a harmless first impression.

"Cute, huh?" he said. "Seems like she likes you."

Roy nodded, saying a quiet, "Good morning Melissa," back to her, which surprised his coworkers. They didn't ask, of course, but he could still feel their gazes on his back as he entered his private office.

He groaned when he saw the paperwork on his desk.

.

.

Edward closed the door silently behind her, and she came face to face with the old, weathered face of Fuhrer Grumman. He was a frail old man, but his looks were deceiving; along with Riza's apparently inherited trait of handling guns and aiming, he had the mind of a sly thief. Edward knew this fairly well, and she also knew that his mind was in the right place, as was his heart.

"You wanted something, sir?" she asked, not forgetting to put the little 'sir' in for his honor. Grumman chuckled.

"No need to be so formal, Fullmetal," he said, eye twinkling. "I understand you are friends of my granddaughter, therefore you are a respectable person to me." he motioned to a leather chair in front of him. "Sit."

Edward did so, albeit a little hesitantly. She knew something was up. Grumman, seeing Edward's suspicious look, laughed. "Oh, don't worry, your not in trouble. I just wished to congratulate you on your new promotion and hand over the key to the new State Alchemists' Division myself."

"Oh." For some reason, she didn't really believe that.

"Mmmhmm. Oh, and if you can, I would like you to tell the Major General something..."

Grumman went on to explain that he only expected this meeting to be only five minutes long, as it was. No one was there to see Edward take the key or the papers, but for some reason she felt a heavy weight on her chest. No one was there to see Grumman hand her a slip which she put between thin parchments of paper in her hands.

It didn't help that the old man's eyes followed her long after she left the room, making her feel like there was something much larger to the whole thing than he let on.

.

.

Edward met up with Alphonse in her office, who was holding a paper bag. She stared at the bag first, then at her little brother, who looked pleased to see her. "You made breakfast for me?"

"Yeah." Al grinned. "Knowing you, you probably didn't eat this morning." Well that's what _would've _happened if she hadn't found Melissa. Unbidden, she remembered what happened that morning...

_Edward groaned slightly as she made a move to get up - it was hard, her whole body felt stiff. She didn't really fall asleep at ten on usual days, most probably later, so she wasn't surprised when she saw the beginnings of dawn showing up at her window. The blues and dark indigo of the night was starting to disappear away into reds and pinks, and she squinted when a little of the light reached down to her face. _

_She sat up slightly, only to be stopped by a little weight on her side; she looked down hazily to see Melissa, the adorable little girl, clutching to her flesh arm and snuggled up her side, head on her chest. Edward smiled in a helpless manner. She was only a little girl, and she deserved better - definitely. But for now, Edward would play along with her whims of being a mother. _

_Besides, she didn't think she'd be able to get up right now, in the position she was in. _

_A little after two hours, the blonde alchemist was woken up by the giggles and small jumps on the bed by a certain child with doe eyes. _

"I did eat, actually," she said smugly, also remembering when she practically made a feast for Melissa in her half-sleep. "But I could do with more food." she eyed the bag, and Alphonse held it out with an eye roll. Edward grinned and grabbed it, kissing her little brother on the cheek (she still had to tiptoe) and complained somewhat afterward. "You're way too tall..."

Alphonse chuckled at his sister's antics, turning slightly red when she kissed him. Sure, she was his sister, but what if someone saw that? That would be just as embarrassing as when his mother kissed him right in front of the teachers and the other students when he was younger.

"So, my little brother," Ed said between a mouthful of sandwich. "What kind of plans do you have for the future? Surely you can't visit me everyday and become a house-husband while Winry brings in all the cash." Edward grinned when Alphonse turned red.

"I think I'll go teach," he said finally.

Edward swallowed the last of her second breakfast. "Teach," she repeated slowly, looking dead serious at her brother. "You mean, Izumi-sensei teaching, or..."

"No! No!" Alphonse hastily corrected. "I mean, like...like...you remember our old teacher, right?" Edward stared at him flatly, then shook her head. Alphonse flinched. "Okay, so a _regular _teacher. In a classroom and stuff. Y'know, teaching..._normally..._" Edward raised an eyebrow, but her small smile told Alphonse that she understood.

"That's a noble profession, Al." she said, reaching up to ruffle her brother's hair. "I like it."

Alphonse beamed. "So does Winry. She likes the idea of me in a suit and glasses."

Edward laughed out loud, and then snickered behind her hand when Alphonse started to look more embarrassed as he realized what he just said. "Well, I didn't need to know that, but okay. When's she comin'?"

"Today. At seven sharp."

Edward nodded. "Seven sharp." making a mental note of it. Then, she remembered something else. She placed a hand on Al's shoulder, turning him to face her in the eyes. "Al, I need you to do something for me, okay?" When Alphonse gave an immediate affirmative, Edward took a deep breath. "I found a little girl getting abused last night. I took care of her injuries, but she needs to go to a doctor," she said, a tone of finality in her voice. Alphonse's eyes widened when the mention of abuse was heard.

"Is she okay?"

Edward hesitated. "I don't know. That's why you need to get her to the doctor." she turned around and picked up a file, taking out a slip of paper that was folded neatly and handed it over to Alphonse. "She's at Mustang's office. Give this to him while you're there."

Alphonse took the slip wordlessly, but his eyes surveyed his sister's form. "Sis? You okay?"

"Yeah." Ed replied. "I just...need to think out some things."

Alphonse nodded, understand and somehow not understanding, and left Edward in the quiet vicinity of her empty office.

.

.

* * *

(1) - Usually means that your living very far away, back in the 1910's.

A/N - Shorter chapter? Yes. But at least I updated. :) (And edited. I went back on this chapter like, twice. xD) I also added 1,000 more words at the end, so I guess you could say the other chapter was a WIP. :D

Melissa. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist, being FMA '03's first opening and all. XD

Kanna, your turn~

-Summer

.

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	4. Chapter IV: Mocking Discourtesy

A/N- Haha, Annie is making me _want _to write this story faster -_- I'm so happy that you guys love Melissa so much! She's a big part of the story, not just in bringing Roy and Ed together actually ^_^ Wow, this might even have a plot. XD

_Playlist:_

_Rocketeer - Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder  
Fuckin' Perfect - P!nk  
More - Usher  
Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood _

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r four.

_"Let's fly..."  
"Where we stop nobody knows..."_

* * *

Of course, Alphonse never questioned his older sister.

From when the day he was born, the first people he saw were his mother, and his sister, their beaming faces looking upon him and then he found his memory to prove him feeling his father's hand smooth out his forehead, and he remembered seeing his father after that.

But it was always them two first.

He wondered if that particular memory, him and his first memory, had any meaning.

When his father left, Edward sort of took over the role as the 'other parent'. When his mother died, the lines between mother, sister, and father blurred, and somehow she became one and all and his best friend. Even if he tried, Alphonse couldn't tell the seams apart. They mixed in effortlessly that he had just stopped trying to differentiate them all together.

No matter what the situation, he would never question Ed. He knew that he couldn't tell what goes on in his sister's head, and he knew that whatever she did may seem like it had no purpose - but whatever the assumptions were, they were all wrong. It was like science - everything had a cause, and then an effect, then an after effect. It was how his sister worked also - even it was a little bit unconsciously how she worked, it was still like that. Everything Edward did had a reason, a cause, and then she would see it through - whether it worked or not, and then accept the consequences.

Not many people saw this pattern. He did. He's seen it so many times that he could tell it through the back of his hand.

But there were times - like this one - where he didn't understand Edward at all. Like for the fact that he had no idea that she had snatched up a little girl from the clutches of abuse. The same little girl who now worshiped Edward so much since she was grateful, up to the point where she called her 'mommy'.

Jean had explained it, once he got it figured out himself.

Alphonse had to admit though, Melissa was cute. He couldn't help but hate the bastard who would hit such a sweet child.

When he had reached the doctor, he had to admit he was slightly ashamed of how the medical professional looked at him with dead-serious eyes and pointed to a room with a sigh; it had the words, 'Elric Only - Regular'. It made Alphonse blush tomato red.

Melissa wasn't in such a bad shape than he thought. Her ankle had healed already - which was rather fast, only a day, and even though it confused the doctors and him, they let it go. The injury must've been from a long time ago. Her arm was rubbed with rubbing alcohol and new bandages, and other than that she was fine, really.

"How was it?" Edward asked when Alphonse and Melissa came back and hour later. Melissa tugged on Edward's state issued pants, and with a slight eye roll, Edward picked her up. Alphonse noted the whole thing and tucked it away in his mind, but answered her anyways. "It wasn't bad, actually. Her ankle is almost healed."

Edward frowned. "Really?" she touched Melissa's ankle with her automail gently. "She sprained it on the night she was running. I saw. That's pretty quick." Melissa, who was hearing the whole thing, blushed in embarrassment and buried herself in Edward's neck, looking more like a three or two year old than a five year old. She _was _rather small.

"Did you give the Ba - Mustang the slip?" Alphonse almost smiled in amusement at how Edward was holding back her curses in front of Melissa. Maybe his sister wouldn't curse like a sailor so much anymore. But then his smile slipped when he recognized her question.

"Er...I forgot." he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Another thing he and Edward shared in common. The side of the blonde woman's lip twitched upward in a smile, and she shook her head.

"Oh Al." she held out her hand expectantly and Alphonse placed the piece of paper in her hand. "I'll give it to him. I have to get over there to give Riza the last files anyways." Edward put Melissa down gently, who in turn popped her thumb in her mouth and clutched to Edward's pants still. "You should go home. I heard you have a test to study for to pass that exam."

Alphonse nodded, then he waved goodbye to his sister and left Central Command.

.

.

By the time it was three o'clock, Edward had already managed to finish half her work for the day. If this was the amount Mustang had to do - she definitely found it karma now that it was coming back to bite her in the ass. But Breda had informed her that he didn't receive as much as she did, a lot less actually. Then she figured out that she was getting extra papers because of her status as the Head of the State Alchemist department.

She fingered the upon slip of paper in her hand, still not delivered to Mustang. She decided that now was as good as ever.

The Major General's office was wide and opening; Breda and Falman were both out, but everyone else was there. Jean's lazily guarded eyes regarded her carefully, almost as if he wasn't sure who she was anymore, but smiled nonetheless.

"Yo, Chief."

Ed gave a half-smile. "Hey. I have a message from the Fuhrer." she held up the small, almost unimportant looking piece of paper in between her slender fingers. Eyes turned to stare at the misgiving item. "Mustang. Don't open it." she flicked it to Hawkeye's desk, where Riza stared at it before nodded pliantly.

"Yes, sir." Edward's lip twitched at the respect. Riza knew better than to call her 'ma'am' - after all, she was still getting used to the whole idea of everyone getting used to her gender.

"So, what'cha guys doing?" she asked, flopping down on Breda's chair unceremoniously.

"Paperwork." Fuery shrugged. "It's mind-numbing." Edward chuckled. She grabbed the forms that Fuery was doing from under his nose, and raised an eyebrow at the contents, ignoring his red-faced caught look.

"So paperwork is based on betting pools now, huh?" The blonde asked, noticing Riza look over sharply, hands fingering her gun. Jean laughed nervously.

"W-well..."

"Edward, I would rather appreciate it if you stepped out of the room for a second," Riza said, bringing up her Revolver with a small, sinister smile. "I believe this is something that you should not see."

Edward blinked, Jean and Fuery gaped, and then she shrugged. As the door closed behind her, she could hear the cries of "Why did _she _get to leave?" from behind her in the office. Odd. Riza must've planned something in advance for this kind of thing.

Without nothing else to do, Edward decided to take her official break now. It was about three-thirty anyways, and she didn't get off until five. Shrugging on her black coat (Alphonse still refused to let her wear her red jacket with the uniform) and walking toward the Central Park a few blocks off, she noticed that she didn't get there until the sky was starting to color pink and light red. She checked her pocketwatch - it was near four, but not much.

She plopped down on a bench, leaning back and looking up toward the sky.

Her eyes roamed across the blood-colored sky. Odd, how there was nothing more to hold her back and yet there was - she was free, free to make her choices and shape her life the way she wanted, and yet she found herself on edge, paranoid, every nerve on alert.

She was jerked out of her trance by a loud shuffle by her side. Looking over, she saw a girl with short cut bleached blonde hair as white as snow looking at her with hollowed eyes. "Want one?" she held out a cigarette from manicured nails. Her eyes were large, round, and an odd pale hazel.

Edward suspected she would've been very pretty if she fixed herself up with makeup, but there was something about the bags under eyes, the sunken cheeks that made her look attractive. Not to Edward personally, but to other people - by the way eyes were drawn her way.

"I'm good." she replied. The girl shrugged and took out a lighter, a bright flame dancing in front of their eyes before a quick flick of the wrist sent it away and on the cigarette.

There was a silence. Not exactly comfortable, not exactly awkward, either.

"You know, you're a grade A. The first I've seen in a long time. I can tell by that sour expression on your face." the bleach blonde commented. Edward's eyes slowly looked at her through her peripheral vision. The question wasn't asked, but her body tensed up. "A real grade A bitch, that is." she finished.

A muscle in Edward's jaw tightened.

"But that's okay, because I'm one too." she said, looking completely indifferent while saying so.

Edward laid back on the bench, eyes toward the sky again as if searching for something endlessly... again. "Alright. Does that have to make us anything?" Edward didn't look at her when she said this, but the obvious answer was given.

The girl smiled. "Dee."

"Ed."

At random intervals, there were puffs of smoke that came out of Dee's mouth. Edward watched quietly until the sun disappeared completely behind the horizon, before getting up and simply walking away. She didn't say goodbye to Dee, and Dee didn't ask for one in return.

.

.

When she was back, she realized that she only had half-an-hour left of work, Mustang was in a meeting with the Fuhrer like she had, and Melissa was practically crying to bits. Jean Havoc had stared at her with haunted, blank stare, took the little girl's hand, and placed it in Ed's, walking away promptly. Waving off Havoc's unusual behavior, Edward knelt down to the girl's height.

"Hey, why're you crying?" she asked, not being gentle but not being demanding either. Melissa sniffed and looked down, twiddling her fingers, apparently thinking about something.

"Mommy, are you going to leave me again?" Edward internally grimaced at the girl's tone - lost, paranoid, almost like her when she was ten and missing two limbs. "Please don't leave me again. I got scared."

Edward sighed. "Mel, I won't leave you, but sometimes I won't be there. Mommy - " she forced herself to say this part, " - has work to do, you know. Or else, you wouldn't have food." Edward eyed the girl's thin body, then noticed her clothes. "You could use a new shirt and a pair of trousers too."

Melissa simply looked confused, staring at her with those doe eyes before looking down again and thinking about what Edward said.

Sighing, Edward mumbled under her breath and grabbed Melissa's hand, a little roughly, but the girl simply jerked out of her trance and looked up curiously at Edward. The blonde woman started to walk out of the building, forcing herself not to look at the people staring at her and stick her tongue out childishly at them.

"Mommy? Why aren't you going to work?"

"It's Ed," she said almost instinctively, and didn't notice the hurt look that passed the little girl's face. "And we're going to get you some clothes. I'll just tell Mustang to piss off later."

Melissa didn't reply.

At exactly fifteen minutes later, Edward stood satisfied as Melissa came out garbed in a set of jeans, new shoes, and a pink shirt (ugh) that the little girl had picked out herself. Edward wasn't exactly big on fashion, all those makeup things, but she had a faint grasp on bargaining and was able to get through it just fine. She did, however, walk home with three bags hanging off her arms, which caused many to look her way - especially since she was still wearing her uniform, previously covered by her black coat. She missed her red one.

She went straight home, deciding that if she took a little bit of time off (_it was only fifteen minutes until her shift ended, really_) then she could make up for it tomorrow. Gracia could take care of Melissa for the hours she was gone.

Melissa ran off into the living room, sitting down with the new coloring book that she had insisted Edward to buy for her. The blonde did so just to keep the brunette occupied.

Changing out of her uniform - damn itchy thing, hadn't broken it in yet - she sighed in relief when the linen fabric of her large loose shirt touched her skin. She made her way to the phone, punching in the number and tapping her fingers on the counter top impatiently at the dial tone rang.

"_Hello?_"

Edward twisted the cord between her finger. "Gracia?"

"_Edward?_"

The alchemist gave a small smile, even though she knew the older woman couldn't see her; just hearing Gracia's voice made her warm inside. "I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now. How's Elysia?"

There was a warm chuckle. "_She's been asking about her pretty big sister._"

"I'll visit soon," Ed grinned. "In fact, tomorrow." A pause shifted in as Edward tried to find a way to word it. Gracia must've noticed the atmosphere, because her voice came in a second later. "_Edward? Are you alright? Is something wrong?_"

"What? Oh, no. I just...I wondered if Elysia would like a playmate. You see, I found this little girl on the street two days ago, and she's...become very fond of me," she said, not finding any other words to put it in. "I'm not going to be around much, so I wondered if you could take her in. She's five - the same age as Elysia, I'm guessing?"

"_Why...yes. That is true. I'd be happy to take her in for you, Ed._"

"Thanks, Gracia."

Edward pulled down her shirt further and made her way to the living room, where she found Melissa on the floor, working intently on a piece of semi-white paper and crayons at her fingertips.

"Hey kiddo, what'cha doin'?" Edward sat down cross legged next to Melissa, who started a little and looked up at the blonde. She smiled brightly and hurried to scramble up, hands fumbling and face red.

She held in the piece of paper in front of her face, toward Edward's. "I made this for you, Momma!"

Edward blinked, completely ignoring the 'mamma' part as she stared at the paper in front of her. Using different colors, Melissa had managed to create a picture of her face; almost like hers, except without such shading. It wasn't realistic, but it wasn't in the style of stick figures five year old usually did. Sort of mesmerized, she reached out and took it, looking surprised and feeling the rough paper's indention with her fingers.

"It's...really beautiful." she breathed, noting how it was a picture of how she smiled; the one where she had put atop her dresser, with her and Al and Winry together. Ed wondered how Melissa managed to see that picture. "Do you like...drawing, Mel?"

Melissa nodded enthusiastically.

"It's my fav'rite thing to do! This is for you, momma!" she smiled brightly, looking proud of herself and her little chubby hands. Edward almost laughed to herself of the irony; she was in no way a mother, and she didn't think she ever could be. But Melissa was special - this was a talent that was raw, in it's most purest form, beautiful. Edward never thought she'd see a real prodigy, but it was somehow fate that this girl came under her care.

But she wasn't going to be like Mustang. She wouldn't use Melissa's gift for her own goals. She would let the girl blossom in her own time; and who knows? Perhaps she would be one of the most famous people in the world, like her 'momma'. And that was another thing; Ed had no idea what to do. Melissa insisted on calling her mom, and she couldn'y do anything about it.

It gave her mixed emotions; she didn't know if she could handle this.

But she was Edward Elric; and Edward Elric was strong, stronger than any male, and she was stubborn. She certainly was not a mess of female hormones and feelings; she had the passion of a man, and that was evident at how no one could ever catch on to her true gender, back in the day.

The clock chimed, and Edward spared a glance at it before setting down the drawing. "I love it kiddo, really. But it's six and we're gonna find something for you to do, got it?" Melissa nodded.

Dinner was simple and flew by in a breeze; by six-thirty, Edward was actually done arguing with Hawkeye about how she'd gone home early, and by six forty-five, a sudden thought came to her.

"Oh _shit!_" Edward shot up, running past Melissa (who had her attention on her make-shift mother) and grabbing the closest coat she could find before realizing that she would have to take Melissa with her. "Oh god, she's gonna kill me..." Ed groaned, practically grimacing at the thought of Winry's arrival. And then she quickly put the girl in her most thickest set of clothes (a dark green long-sleeved shirt with bows on the front and jeans that matched) and transmuted what she _estimated_ to be a sweater from her old red one, and quickly pulled it on Melissa's head.

"Momma? What's going on?" Mel asked, curious.

"Sorry kiddo. We're going out, okay? Just for a little while."

When she was done, Melissa looked like a Christmas bundle - which was sort of appropriate, considering the day they were on, but it was not the time to be thinking of such things. Al had said seven o'clock _sharp,_ and Winry was, if not anything, punctual.

Grabbing Melissa in her arms once more, she went out the door and locked it behind her as Mel made herself comfortable in Ed's arms, burying her head in the crook of the older woman's neck and popping a thumb in her mouth.

Edward had made it to the train station in ten minutes, and it was already 7:13 PM when she got there. Winry wasn't that vindictive, of course, but neither her nor Alphonse knew the area of Central much. When Al told Edward what time his girlfriend was coming, he meant it as '_could you please come to make sure we don't get horribly lost?_' Because if she knew her brother, Alphonse was rather scatterbrained in a 1:1,000,000 ratio. Usually around Winry.

"Al! Al! Win!"

She flailed her automail arm, keeping the little girl in her arms steady with her flesh one only. It wasn't hard; Melissa wasn't that heavy.

"Sister! Oh, I knew you were just late..." Alphonse's voice breached through the other voices in the station, and Edward could spot his head among the crowd. She saw Winry's figure soon after, not screaming, not angry, just staring at her with wide, expressive eyes.

"E-Ed..." she whispered, running forward to the girl just as Edward put Melissa down on the ground. The blonde alchemist stumbled back a little, a little stunned at the unexpected greeting. "Hey, Winry. Long time no see."

When the lemon-blonde pulled back, there were tears sparkling in her blue eyes. "Oh, I can't believe this day's finally come! You see, I _knew_ you'd tell everyone one day, and here you are and I'm so _happy _- who's this?"

Winry's voice wasn't vindictive; rather, it was curious and a little adoring. Edward opened and closed her mouth at the beginning of the rant and looked down to see Melissa clutching on her pants, something she'd been doing often.

"This is Melissa. I picked her up off the streets; she was under a bad situation."

The tone in which Ed spoke in was lofty and grave, and Winry knew better than to comment on it. Those Elrics never told her anything, but this sounded more for the sake of Melissa than Edward's. She instead knelt down, smiling gently. "Hello. I'm Winry; a friend of Ed's."

"You're a friend of momma's?" Mel mumbled, looking shy.

Winry blinked and raised an eyebrow at the last part, looking up at Ed who simply shrugged in a 'what can you do?' manner. "Yeah. You can call me Auntie Winry."

"Auntie Winry."

The blonde squealed, immediately gathering the girl in a crushing hug. "She's _adorable._ Ed, you better be taking care of her properly." Edward gave a grunt that meant somewhere along the lines of 'yeah'. Alphonse had somehow caught up to them, and was smiling amusedly.

"Yeah, yeah. The kid's gotta go to sleep soon, so can we go where ever you wanna go and get this over with?" Ed was grumbling, but her cheeks were touched with red and she wouldn't look either of them in the face; embarrassed.

"Well, I _did_ want to go to the apartment you two talked about," Winry said. "But I sorta want to visit Gracia-san first. I have a new toy to give to Elysia for her birthday which I missed."

Ed rolled her eyes but complied, taking Melissa's hand and tugging her forward gently, talking with Alphonse and Winry all the way to the aforementioned woman's house.

When they got there, however, Edward left them with a goodbye and another promise to visit them tomorrow after work, and since Melissa was falling asleep ("She goes to sleep at seven? What're you disciplining her with, Ed? I know _I _didn't sleep at seven when I was five." "That's because you slept at eight.") so she had said goodbye.

Setting Melissa in bed and throwing the cover over her small body, Edward smiled in a hopeless way before dropping down on the side of the bed herself, sliding down to the floor and setting her head on her knees.

Looking up briefly, she stared at herself in the mirror across the wall, so fully _woman_ and she didn't feel like it; more of a man in a woman's body. She'd even think she was a man sometimes if she didn't remember who she really was - a 'she'. But that wouldn't stop her, and she wouldn't let it drag her down. Winry, Izumi, they were strong - Izumi had more strength than most of the male population, and so did she.

Just because she didn't know who she was yet, didn't mean she would let it get to her so easily.

.

.

Gracia sat down on her seat, setting down the tray full of teacups and saucers, accompanied by sandwiches on little platters. "Well, it certainly is a treat to see you again, Winry. I'm sorry Elysia isn't awake; she's had a party today at school, and was a little overboard on the sugar." Gracia laughed. "She's on a crash right now."

Winry giggled. "Oh, it's fine, Gracia-san. I actually came to see how _you_ are doing."

Alphonse had made his way to the apartment that he would currently share with Winry, apparently tired after a little 'small talk' with the two women. Obviously, he didn't want to be caught up in the awkward talking. "Me? Well, I feel honored."

"It's...been hard after Mister Hughes's death, hasn't it?" Winry set down her cup on the saucer. She smiled sadly. "Gracia, I know that you won't pry. I know you won't ask any questions if it would hurt someone. And I know that you would never purposely get in the way, because that's how you are." she sighed as the older woman looked taken aback. "But you are Maes's wife, and I know that you're curious. I know Ed better than anyone - and when I saw her on the train, I knew that you would be the first person I would tell, because you would never ask."

A pause. Then, "Ask what, Winry dear?" she said gently.

Winry set down her teacup on the table. She looked Gracia in the eye. "What happened. With Ed, with her decisions in life. I'll tell you first, because Edward would never tell herself."

Gracia was silent for a moment, looking stunned, then she smiled slightly. "Well, I would be lying if I didn't say I was curious."

Winry laughed. "I would think you were lying if you said you weren't."

"But...when have you got so perceptive?"

She smiled sadly. "You learn to see right through people when you've lived with those Elric's for such a long time." she took a deep breath. "Gracia, I'd tell you everything that I can. I can't tell you everything, because Ed...she has to do that herself."

Gracia looked a little troubled, but nodded. "Of course. I trust you, and I trust Edward too. Please tell me."

"Gladly."

.

.

It was eight at night, and Jean Havoc was standing out in the sidewalk alone, smoking a cigarette. The night was slightly chilly, and the snow underfoot cracked when pedestrians stepped on it.

His eyes followed lazily the figures of possible candidates of what could be his future girlfriend, but he knew it was a fruitless chase; for over two years now, his heart and eyes had been set on one woman only, and she was currently (possibly) in love with his boss.

Sometimes, he really _hated _Mustang.

"Jean?" A familiar voice froze him in his tracks. "Jean? What are you doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be home?" Riza Hawkeye frowned. Her hair was down and she had a bag of groceries in her arms, but it still took Jean away breathless.

"Nah," he said. "Just out for some fresh air."

There was a silence between them two that seemed to stretch on for a long while. Him with his back against the wall, heart beating painfully against his chest, and her standing there awkwardly with her purchases and both staring off in the distance.

"Well," she started. "I'd better get home. I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Jean nodded. "Yeah. 'Night."

She flashed a brilliant smile at him, and he stared wistfully at her retreating back, wishing that he'd have the guts to just keep her close for once.

.

.

Gracia settled back into her chair with a look of sad awe on her face. "So that's what...oh. Poor Ed. That girl..."

"I know." Winry looked like she might cry if it weren't for the fact that Gracia was right there. "I know. And it's been so hard on her. She's still not recovered from it completely, I just know it. And I hope I can get her over it - you know, I...I think of Ed as my sister, my best friend. I hate it when she's so..."

"I understand." Gracia reached over and patted the blonde girl's knee in comfort.

Winry gave a watery smile. "Thank you. I'll have to leave now - and Gracia-san, I'd be really grateful if you didn't repeat this to anyone else."

.

.

In the morning, Edward woke up with the weight of a little girl on her chest - again, as usual. Lately, Melissa had taken a liking to sleeping on her, and it usually resulted in back aches or sometimes she couldn't move her arm or leg for a few moments. But she didn't have the heart to wake up that little peaceful face; who knew when was the last time she slept without nightmares?

Melissa's family reports had to be found, she had thought. And she would find the man and woman who did this to their little girl and beat them to a pulp.

"Hey kiddo, time to wake up," she said softly, shaking the brunette slightly. "Kid? Mel?"

Once Edward had managed to wake up Melissa had feed her a quick breakfast - she swore, the kid had the appetite that might've matched her own - she gathered up her things and made for the door. "Paperwork, keys, coat...what else..." she mumbled.

Melissa walked up beside Ed and tugged on her hand, and Edward snapped out of her reverie to see the brunette looking down at her with a smile. Ed smiled back, and decided that she didn't really forget anything.

Taking Melissa's hand, she made her way to Gracia's house without any dilemma.

On the way there, many people stopped and stared at her, a woman who looked just like the Fullmetal Alchemist with a small child at her side, and the small child jumping up and down in joy continuously.

Both Edward and Melissa was jumped on by Elysia, whom had hugged their fiercely. Edward had laughed and introduced them, Elysia quickly taking Melissa's hand and leading her to the living room, where their voices could be heard - Elysia's, loud and rambunctious, and Melissa's timid and shy. Edward sighed and straightened out her shirt.

"Thank you, Gracia, for doing this." she said, smiling at the woman. Gracia sent the same smile back, but Ed couldn't help but notice the way the older woman's eyes lingered on her, looking painful.

"Of course, Edward," she replied. "Anything. I'll be there to help, okay?"

For some reason, Edward didn't think Gracia was talking about Melissa only.

.

.

In the morning, Edward found herself in a slight ambush before she could even take her coat off and say 'good morning'.

"Where's Mel?"

"Yeah, I was starting to like the girl."

"Ed, you didn't leave her alone, did you?"

Edward raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond to anything until she had made it past her desk and took a sip of her coffee. "You guys seem to have really adopted Melissa, huh?" Ed smirked, and for some reason, she felt a little victorious when it struck a chord with everyone in the office.

"What?" Jean asked, looking taken aback.

"Of - of course not. We're just worried." Breda stuttered. But of course, Ed smiled in that way of hers that showed that yes, she _truly _did this have fangs. There was laughter in her eyes, lightening it up. "I'm jerking your chains. She's with Gracia on a playdate with Elysia; jeez, you were worried."

Jean's face turned a shade of embarrassed red, and Breda looked away, scratching the back of his head. "Oh."

Edward was relieved; it would be much easier to bring Melissa in for work now, seeing as how her colleagues all seemed to adore the little girl to heights among her imagination. Gracia was also happy with Melissa and Elysia being friends; it seemed like with the arrival of this girl that Edward just picked up along the road, their lives had brightened up.

No more was the dark and sad face of Havoc whom always seemed to hide it carefully; now was the carefree man she once knew. But Edward, liked always, knew that there was something wrong - his glances toward Hawkeye when she was not looking was becoming increasingly more frequent and obvious. Or perhaps it was just Ed who was looking too hard.

Breda spent more time on chess and puzzles than scribbling down strategies to bring the enemy down. Fuery was on his way of inventing a new type of radio - something that Edward had not even thought of. Falman was probably on the brink of another promotion along with the key to the head of the Information Department. And Hawkeye...Hawkeye's future looked just as bright as the rest.

And with Ed's new enrollment into the 'new and improved' Brass, things were seeming to be brighter in the near time than ever.

"So, what's up for me today?" she asked her secretary, Lenny, as she set her feet on top of her desk.

"Almost nothing. But you do have that monthly report due to Major General Mustang, seeing as how it says here...that you haven't done so in...five months." Lenny said, looking incredulous at the mere fact of not handing in a report for a month alone. Then, looking at Ed's propped up feet, he made a displeasured face. "Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but..."

Ed rolled her eyes before complying to his unsaid wishes. "Alrighty, I'll go to that bastard. But don't expect the building to come back in one piece." she said flippantly over her shoulder as she made her way out. The Fullmetal Alchemist's hostility toward his - _her _superior officer was well-known around the people, but it was astounding to see it real life; not just was it a simple 'teasing' type of hate, Herald Lenny could _hear _the disdain that Fullmetal held in her speech; and yet, there was still respect and loyalty in between, something that was really not expected from Edward. And especially not to a man like Roy Mustang.

The Fullmetal Alchemist's feelings toward Roy Mustang was rather complex, and he wasn't sure that even Edward Elric herself could figure them out until she's sunken deep into her own hole.

.

.

"Whaddya want, bastard?" Edward Elric kicked the door closed behind her, crossing her arms and cocking a brow at her superior officer. Roy Mustang was currently sitting behind a stack of papers, looking as professional and as calm as ever, pen in hand and eyes locking on gold ones.

"Your late, Fullmetal," he stated.

Edward snorted. "No duh. Did you expect anything less?"

Truthfully he didn't. But whatever he did just didn't seem to get on his - her nerves anymore. Roy sighed. "You have to give me your report...since you haven't for so long."

Ed looked thoughtful. "Okay...but here's the thing; what the hell do you want me to report _on_?" she asked, looking expectant. Roy felt the beginning of a headache come on - and if this continues, he feared he was going to snap at Edward, whom he had only a fragile relationship with. He didn't understand why, but he really didn't want to ruin what they had now; their old lifestyle of fighting and shouts were too much. Too much flair, drama, flamboyant. He didn't want it anymore.

And somehow, he looked for a relationship with Ed that wouldn't leave him hanging by his teeth. Why this was so important to him, he didn't know, but it was like when he first saw the bout of flame alchemy; that dancing fire upon his master's finger, mesmerizing him so much that he wanted to know more.

"On the events that have currently held you up so far. Your monthly report consists of - "

"Alright, alright," she interrupted. "I get it." Ed looked at him in an indecipherable way; he didn't know why those eyes suddenly softened when she gazed at him.

Edward sat down on the chair across from his desk, and she began to slowly tell him exactly what he needed. Roy, suffice to say, was stunned and a little pleased. Maybe working with Edward full time wouldn't be such a pessimistic problem as he thought. Maybe he could get through with actually being friends with him - her.

And that was another thing he needed to get right; her gender. For him, gender never mattered; people were people and they were based upon their personalities and that was the definition of them in general. But Edward was such an enigma, that he had feared to even touch. The kid was volatile, and incredibly mature for an age that didn't suit him; and Roy was scared of that.

But he was a she, and she was impressing him more than he'd like to think.

Edward proved to him that she was more than just a pretty face and flailing limbs; she was a genius, with a love for learning and a passion for alchemy. She was a mother of sorts and a sister of impeccable proportions. She was a best friend. And she was, perhaps, the most brilliant person he ever had the pleasure of meeting. It was sad that he had just figured this out recently, but only in the span of two weeks. Was that how the world saw her? Was that how his team saw her? Was that why he could never get along with her - because he simply didn't _try_? It was so mind-blowing, now that he thought about it. If he was friends with her, at least faint acquaintances, than a lot would've changed.

"That was...a good report, for once." he said finally after she finished. He looked at her expectant expression and answered it with his own. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to ask you what you meant by that, bastard."

Roy smirked.

"Nothing at all, Edward. I meant nothing at all."

There was a silence as Edward's from became suddenly rigid and she turned around, eyes impossibly wide in shock, staring at him almost fish-mouthed. Roy could feel his own insides freezing up as he realized what he just did; _Edward, not Fullmetal. _

"I-I mean..." he felt hopelessly lost, but then something that stunned him for a few good hours happened. Instead of Edward, whom he expected to yell and scream and claw at him for even mentioning her name, gave him the most brilliant smile he'd ever seen, bid him a silent goodbye with the flicker of her hand and walked straight out his door.

There was a warm, squirming feeling in the inside of his stomach and chest. He felt uncomfortable, feeling this new found heat that spread to his face. His memory flashed him a image of Ed's smile again, bright, happy, filled with certain freedom; and he felt it again. God, her face was in his mind. What the hell was this...?

This was a foreign feeling, a feeling created by Edward Elric, and he wasn't sure that he knew what it was.

.

.

* * *

A/N - I'M SO SO SO SORRRY YADJKASJFHKLA THAT I DIDN'T UPDATE. GOSH I FEEL HORRIBLE. Kanna, I made your poor chapters sit in their box all week long, lonely, review deprived D: I'm so sorry. Well, here's the new chapter, so...yeah. XD Ed's actions at the end are sorta mysterious, seeing as how the last part was from Mustang's POV. In third person. :D

I wrote this in one day. I'm so proud of myself. :D

Ace, shut up. A future warning.

-Summer

.

.


	5. Chapter V: Last To Surrender

A/N- Wow, I love torturing myself, don't I? I have ten stories that need to be updated...GRAAH. Stupid multitasking me. [/depressed] Anyways, thanks for the long wait! I know that I'm not exactly a sporadic updater...[/sweatdrop]

_Playlist:_

_So Cold - Breaking Benjamin  
ET - Katy Perry ft. Kanye West  
Love The Way You Lie (Part 2) - Rihanna ft. Eminem_

**By the way: Ace, APRIL FOOL'S! :D**

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r five.

_"If there's any, how many  
and when will these games find an ender?  
__...  
What's the last thing I want to surrender...?"_

* * *

_Edward. Not Fullmetal._

The same few words kept repeating in his head like a sonata, on and on and on in their encore. His mind set on those three words all the way through the paperwork of the noon, the afternoon, and even the evening.

But, that smile - _that _was what kept him through the whole night.

It was too weird. To mistaken. That smile was saved for...for people like Edward's brother. Or Winry. Or Gracia, and that old woman Pinako. Not for him. Not that bright.

So why was that fleeting picture still in his mind?

He concluded, in the end, I was because he'd never _really seen _Edward smile before. It was always a smirk, or a malicious grin, or a devil's smile full of evil intent. [And usually always aimed toward him.] But that smile...happy, free, voracious, that's what he felt. That's what he guessed was the little lurching of his stomach. And besides - wasn't he supposed to be sleeping? Why the hell was he thinking about _smiles, _particularly _Edward Elric's _smile, at two in the morning?

Roy groaned and pressed a pillow toward his head.

.

.

_Edward. Not Fullmetal. _

The thought kept rewinding over and over. Edward's face was carefully composed as she remembered her reaction to him saying her name; yes, it was odd and out of character, especially for Mustang. But...they were friends, right? So why shouldn't he call her by her name?

So in her hastened leave, she smiled at him to assure him it was all right. Because his own stunned eyes and disbelieving expression was enough to cause a twinge of pain in her chest. _Everyone calls me Edward - why shouldn't you?_

Nimble fingers kept her arms and hands busy as she signed papers in her apartment and exchanged them once or twice to another packet. Her automail arm, thankfully, was not able to tire; and Melissa was kept occupied by taking the papers and shuffling them into neat piles. Edward wasn't worried; she'd have Lenny or Falman read over them in the morning, and they knew what she would rip, what she would put in the paper shredder, and what she would burn. She had given them a list.

Once she was done, Edward sighed and leaned back, stealing a quick glance toward the calender hung upon the far right wall.

"Mamma, are you gonna get a tree for Christmas?" Melissa also stared at the calender Edward was looking at, and even though she wasn't all that literate - the red circle on the number 25 was hard to miss and whom Edward presumed was Winry had drawn little trees and jingle bells and tinsels around the square box. She frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure," she said finally, not missing the disappointed look on Melissa's face. "We might have to ask your Uncle Alphonse and Aunt Winry."

"My birthday's on Christmas," Melissa mumbled, cheeks flushed red. Edward patted her head and gave her a slightly pained smile. She knew that she was probably bringing the whole girl's world down. When was the last time she had a party, a present?

"And I promise it'll be the best birthday ever," she said gently. "But Melissa, Christmas is only three days away. What will I do? How will I get everything?" She didn't mention that she could make everything from alchemy. But she wouldn't dare - Christmas was a memory that her mother had enlisted into her as a soft, warm, holiday where your work is exchanged for your love, your love for your happiness.

"Okay." And the conversation ended. Edward didn't know why, but she couldn't stand the thought of Christmas anymore - it's whole day itself allowed something sick to settle in her stomach. As Melissa kept on shuffling columns of paperwork, something worse bubbled inside her.

She didn't notice Alphonse behind her front door.

.

.

"You sure about this, Al?" Winry asked, looking unsure. "I thought Ed didn't like Christmas."

"She doesn't," he replied. Biting the corner of his lip, he cut the last piece of paper and placed it in the box with satisfaction. "But it's been a long time since _that incident. _She needs to get over it, you know?"

Winry shook her head and took the brown cardboard box they had dug up, cutting a square on the top so a hand could fit through to grab something from inside. "I know, but...is this the best way to get over it? It's been so long since she's seen him, and I don't know if Ed can move on so easily. She's hurt badly, Al."

"And she needs a push to get her starting again," he said gently. "It's what's best for her, Winry. Ed is my sister, my best friend, but sometimes she can be awfully dense." His voice lowered to a sad murmur. "I just hate seeing her so sad this time of year. And this time, she can't even get past it to celebrate it with Melissa. You know, I overheard that it's her birthday on Christmas Eve."

Winry frowned again, but said nothing.

"I still don't think this is a good idea."

Alphonse bit his lip, but waved it away. "Sometimes, you just have to take risks, right?"

"Not if those risks can get you a black eye," Winry muttered. Alphonse rolled his eyes, but they both knew that it was all in good-nature. After all, this was for Ed, a person whom they cared for very much. It was all for her... Even if she found out that this little plan of theirs, even if she came at them with all her rage, it would be - hopefully - worth it in the end.

"Now, we need to get this in action."

Mustang raised an eyebrow when he heard this little...scheme of Alphonse's. The teenage boy was planning to do the original "pick in the hat" trick. The whole office would choose a piece of paper to decide what part of the Christmas party - which, apparently, they had every year as a ritual - and Edward was in charge of getting the tree and hosting the whole thing.

How would she do this? What was the chance that Edward would pick that piece? Well, since Alphonse had put every single piece of paper in the hat as 'tree getting/party hoster' it wouldn't be a problem. The story was that the rest of the office had already picked, and once Edward came in for about another ten minutes, she would have to pick.

Roy played along with the idea; after all, Alphonse said that this would've been good for Edward. Roy almost asked why, but the boy had a distant, blank look on his face that told him that the Elric didn't want to talk about it. Alphonse said that Edward would tell them in her own time. And if she didn't, then they could always ask Winry.

The Major General didn't want to do that; it would be like taking the easy way out. The door clamored noisily as Edward made her entrance, and Roy got a split second on uneasiness in his gut before it disappeared. His men were all prepared for the plan that they were going through, each to their own thoughts about the enigmatic answer Alphonse had given them for the reason why.

"Morning, Chief," Havoc said, out of perpetual habit. Edward shot him a smile. Roy felt that twisting thing in his gut again.

"So, what's up? I heard I had to be here," she said.

Riza cleared her throat. "You never knew because you were always out this time of year back then," a small pause at the reminder of her times searching for the Philosopher's Stone, "But this office always had a Christmas party. We'd draw slots. And since you're here this year, we decided that you should pick too." Riza held out the black hat, lying perfectly through her teeth. "All of us have already chosen."

Edward was at a loss, they could all see. Christmas obviously brought bad memories that she didn't want to remember; but she couldn't just throw this away either. Well, she could, but the guilt that really shouldn't have been there would build up. She would feel horrible. Besides, it couldn't be that bad, right? Maybe she would just get to bring food or something. Nothing huge.

"Okay," she replied, looking easy.

She reached into the black hat and came up with a little slip. When she read it, her mouth dropped open in a perfect little 'o'.

"I...don't think I'm the person for this," she cringes, and flicks the paper to the ground. She looks sort of bitter, and it reminds Roy slightly of how she looked on those days when she'd stay up late in the night, reading through books for leads.

"It'd be better if you did," Riza coaxed. Her voice was very soothing and somehow sharp and commanding in the underlier. "It's not much trouble, is it? Or...is there something that we should know, Ed?"

"Nothing," she snapped suddenly, scowling. It was familiar, and very Ed thing to do that it shocked most of the office when it shouldn't have; well, it made sense. She was acting rather mellow and more tempered ever since her identity was cleared and Melissa came into their lives. But it was sort of hard to forget the hot-headed girl who had the guts to pretend to be a boy underneath. "I'll do the damn thing." she grumbled.

Riza smiled. "Nice to know. The party is on December 25th, Christmas Eve. The day before is Melissa's birthday, right?" she said softly. Edward caught the complications - it was just a suggestion. Riza was saying that they should've planned something for the five-year-old, and Edward was trying.

The blonde turned around and took a deep breath. "I need my coffee."

.

.

Roy was a little uneasy about the whole thing that blew off. Edward looked positively bitter by the end of it, and Riza more than guilty. He supposed that she always saw Ed as a little bit of her own daughter, and it hurt to see her in a disorganized state.

In fact, she was so eccentric this morning, she had dropped her coffee cup twice and lost her papers three times. Private Lenny had enough, it seemed, and complained to Fuery, who told Mustang himself.

So here he was, with a slight break from his usual work to come and talk to Edward. She was actually very focused on her work, pink tongue sticking out of her mouth. He knew that when she concentrated, it wasn't something that could be broken. He took a quick glance at his watch. Twenty minutes._ Ah well_, he thought while leaning on the arch of the doorway. _Better get this done quickly. _

"Fullmetal," he called.

Edward's head snapped up almost immediately, to his surprise. She scowled at him. "What is it, bastard?"

"You've been at it for an hour, and none of them have been finished," he said. His eyes roamed the tall towers of thin sheets, and he saw the poorly concealed tired-ness in her eyes. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

He raised a dark eyebrow. "Nothing wouldn't make you all pissy, shrimp."

She growled, the sound low in her throat. He didn't think females could make that sound. "_I. Am. NOT. SHORT. YOU BASTARD._"

Roy smirked. "Nice to see that you're getting back on track, Ed."

It was only a second too late did he realize his mistake; dammit! He'd called her Ed again. The odd, gut twisty feeling returned again, but Edward didn't seem to notice his slip up - honestly, it couldn't be counted as a slip up - or his uneasiness. "Shut up, Colonel Useless. Besides, why are you here?"

Hearing the word 'useless' with his old rank set something off in him. "I'm _not _useless," he snapped. "Or a Colonel."

Edward smirked, setting her pen down and leaning back in her chair. She looked like she was actually having fun. If making him go on edge was Ed's way or having fun, then she really was a little hellion of unholy, sadistic glee. "You'll always be a Colonel," she taunted. "And useless."

"Well, let's see you talk about all the times _you've _gotten stuck, Fullmetal."

"Counted on one hand only."

His eye twitched. He had come to help and what did he get? Another verbal spat with a short-tempered blonde alchemist. On the bright side - whatever that was - she did look more relaxed. Remembering his reason of being here and Hawkeye's gun if he went back empty handed, Roy started again. This time, more cautious. And perhaps she'd actually talk this time.

"So, what's really got you off?" he asked. Roy noticed that she shuffled in displeasure. Obviously, this was a subject she didn't want to talk about.

"I told you, it's _nothing,_" she stressed. If this man didn't give up soon, Edward thought, she would either knock him one or spill out everything. "I'm just a little...clumsy today."

He snorted. "And since when did you start calling yourself 'clumsy'?"

Edward felt her temper flare. "Why don't you mind your own business, _Mustang?_"

Roy didn't know why, but he _did _feel a pinprick in his chest when she said his name with such contempt. It wasn't like he did anything to deserve that contempt...except for suggesting the idea of joining the military, the exact same that had caused so much hurt and pain to one teenager who didn't deserve it. Immediately, he started to feel guilty. At first, he was using Ed as a means of higher ranking; but somewhere along the line, he had developed some sort of feeling for him - her. It wasn't recognizable right now, but...

Suddenly, something hit him; _Christmas is a...bad time for her. She needs to get over it. It's been going on for too long. _Alphonse's words. The things he had said to him yesterday. So Edward was hung up on the Christmas thing; but what could make her so frazzled that she couldn't even concentrate properly? Unknown to him, he accidentally let some words slip. And he wished he didn't. "Is this about that incident at Christmas?" he said loudly, knowing the door was closed behind him.

Edward froze, eyes widening. He could practically _see _the immediate shock that rose up in her eyes, the way her fingers tightened around her chair. It _was _Christmas then. "How did...how did...no way, how could you have possibly..." she choked out, looking like someone had punched her in the stomach.

Roy went on mercilessly, knowing that he was twisting the knife that was stabbing her. But it was the only way to get it out of her. "All of it. Situations concerning you aren't that secret, right?"

She looked on the verge of tears - and for Roy felt his heart plummet into his stomach. Never had Edward cried. Not in front of him unless she couldn't help it. What was he doing? Why the hell wouldn't his mouth stop talking?

"You should get over it. It's not that big of a deal."

God, he didn't even know what he was talking about! But it was like someone else was talking for him.

"You don't know anything!" she screamed, shooting out her hand and punching through a stack. Papers fell around her reddened face, which was started to drip with tears. Roy wanted to stop talking.

"Who says I don't?"

He had never seen her so livid. He had never seen her go psychopathic. He had never seen her so hurt. It hurt him to know that he was the one who had caused that hurt.

"You...don't..." she faltered, looking confused. "You don't!"

"Then why is it so hard to move on?" Goddammit, _shut up before you say something you regret! _

"_BECAUSE I LOVED HIM, YOU BASTARD! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" _The words were flung in his face, angry, desperate, despaired. He felt as though someone had taken all the air from his lungs and he breathed in sharply as she realized what she said. Edward let her hands slap over her mouth, eyes widening before the were covered by her bangs.

Roy didn't know what to say. Apparently, his unconscious need to know had won him over again, and he had received a piece of information that he didn't want to get. Edward stepped back a little, looking afraid of herself.

Finally, he seemed to find his voice. "Edward - " She shot off like a rocket and ran past him.

He groaned and slapped himself.

.

.

Her lungs felt like they were bursting out of her chest, but she didn't stop running. In fact, that was all she seemed to do from her problems; run. She ran from the possibility of Alphonse being trapped in armor before she accepted it. She ran from redemption when she joined the military. She ran from everything, created a little bubble before she could actually figure out how to break it and stop running.

Edward thought that she had figured out how to stop running and face her fears and problems all those years ago. And she had; she became stronger because of them. But there was one problem that she couldn't help but run away from, and it still made her chest ache and her head pound.

She ended up somewhere in the middle of nowhere. That's what it seemed, that's where she wanted to go. But no, she was only on the hard, wooden park bench that her feet had unconsciously taken her too. Windblown and tired, breathing heavily, he laid her head down on the seat and closed her eyes. The wind blew softly past her ears and there was no one outside.

Softly, she could pretend that she was in Risembool, with it's emerald fields and it's trees all so wide and shading. She could pretend, but it was only pretending in the end.

Edward could hear slightly the movement of someone sitting next to her, near her head on the concrete pavement. After all, her whole body was on the bench. She blew out a breath and refused to still open her eyes.

"Bad day?"

The blonde woman smelled smoke and she knew instinctively that it was Dee. Edward didn't respond. She didn't have to. But for some reason. Dee looked familiar; perhaps she had seen her once...? Edward didn't know why she would just start talking to a random stranger when she usually flicked them off if they tried to talk to her.

"He was two years older than me," she murmured. "I was fourteen. I was so young. I fell in love with him at first sight. And he said he felt the same way." She buried her face into her arms. "It was Christmas when I saw him with another girl. It hurt. I've hated Christmas ever since then."

There was a pause, and Edward opened one blurry eye to see the bright world, still noon. Dee frowned.

"That's not a good reason to hate Christmas."

"I know. But it still hurts. Whatever I do...it's still something that I can't let go of. I can't face it, because it hurts so much, more than anything. I can't take it. I can't..."

Dee was quiet beside her. Of course, Edward thought cryptically, what could she say? She was letting out some of the most deepest, darkest secrets that not much people knew. It was uncanny. It was stupid. It was unstoppable. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, blinking to get used to the light.

Suddenly, the bleached blonde girl sighed and bit her lip. Not out of worry or hesitation or indecision, but it looked like she just bit her lip because she wanted to bite her lip, like it was as easy as doing something as breathing. "He was three years older than me," she smiled softly. "Drunk night. I got pregnant."

Edward's curiosity was peaked, but she didn't ask.

"I still don't know where she is. My...friend gave her off to an adoption agency. Thought it was the best for me." For the first time, Edward heard a silver of emotion in Dee's voice; bitter regret, the aftertaste of something horrible that wouldn't fade, old wounds that kept ripping out. "Sick bastard. I'll find out what's best for myself." She heard Dee mutter.

Edward stood up and smoothed out her jacked. She felt Dee's eyes on her, but she didn't feel anxious. "Want to come over?" she offered, to her surprise.

What was more stunning was that Dee stood up and took it.

.

.

Sadistic tendencies. That's what Edward would call them. She always liked doing things that hurt her most; bringing back her mother, bringing back her brother, trying to reconcile with her father to find him dead and away from her reach, to fall in love with a man who played her, to play right into a trap of her superior officer's. It was so obvious. Mustang had no idea; he was doing it to lure her, using her weak point. The man was more sick than she thought. She wouldn't be able to see him for a while.

And Dee; having her drink tea in her living room was one of the most awkwardest things ever. Since her little episode in her office, she was sure that both the military and Mustang's office were looking for her. She was dramatic, yes, but fleeing from the scene was something Edward Elric _did not _do, and it would be the talk of Command for days.

"You're awfully quiet," Dee commented, staring at Edward with her pale, hazel eyes. Edward stared back. "Nothing to say," she replied indifferently.

Dee took a sip of her drink and set it down on the saucer, looking down in her lap. She was rather refined for someone who'd smoke and talk to random people on the street who invited her in their flats, the alchemist thought.

"Will you go back to work?" she asked.

"Who knows."

There was another awkward silence. Edward feels comfortable though, but she can't put her finger on something. "Do...do I know you from somewhere?" she murmured. Dee wasn't supposed to hear - or maybe she was.

"I've known you in Risembool," she replies softly. Edward's head snapped up. "I thought you'd remember me. I was the talk of the month when I was sixteen and got knocked up." She smiled weakly. "I also remember when you, the Fullmetal Alchemist, fell in love with a man in the fields when you were fourteen. I remember. I remember everything." Dee closed her eyes. "No one cared, because they all knew you since you were a baby. They knew you were a girl, but you knew that they would never tell another soul outside our little town."

Edward choked back bile at the mention of that person. She was the Fullmetal Alchemist, dammit! She was the Edward Elric who fought her way out of hell, who drove herself so far and wide to do that impossible and came back golden. She was the one who came out on top, she was the strong, infallible one. She was the one who didn't give up when everything was pushing down on her.

And yet...and yet, everything out of everything, this one thing pushed her down and she couldn't find the strength to get back up. This _one incident. _Did that make her weak? Did that make her less of the person she was? How would she know? She didn't even know who she was anymore.

"It hurts, right?" Dee guessed correctly at what Edward was thinking about. "Don't worry. _Men _are always the ones who give us the hardest time, the hardest to recover from."

"I take it you know?" she asked tiredly. The story was common in Risembool.

Dee smiled. "I do. I won't repeat it over, if only for your sake. It's okay if you can't get back up, Edward."

The blonde nodded absentmindedly and tried to get rid of the aching feeling in her chest.

"How do you know me?" she asked quietly, but there was a burning behind her eyes that Dee could see clearly. "I don't think I've ever met you, no matter what you say."

The bleached-blonde pouted, looking irritated. "Because I remember a little girl who came up to me when I was crying in the park, saying that, 'stop crying, missy. You can get up and change tomorrow, so don't be sad.'" Dee's eyes softened. "I remember those words clearly, along with that big, bright smile, and those were the words that ended up getting me back on track." She grinned. "I never got to say thank you to the little girl."

Edward, in fact, remembered this event pretty clearly once said. It was something her mother had said to her, long ago. "You had brown hair then," she recalled.

Dee shrugged. "Bleached it. I hated that old hair color." Edward raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. This was a little surprising, really, to have an old childhood (could she be considered part of her childhood?) friend in such a short time. Perhaps Dee knew more things about her too.

But before she got to ask, someone busted through her door.

.

.

Roy Mustang walked back to his office, feeling like something had been put on his back, and that something was about two-thousand pounds. He looked regretful, and he felt the way he looked, not covering his face in a facade for once.

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked, concerned.

"Edward's run off," he said. Barely, he noticed another fluttering when he said her name. "I don't know where. But she's run off to somewhere."

"And..._why _has she run off?" Riza knew she was entering someone dangerous, both to Roy _and _Edward. The Major General didn't look this bad for a reason. And Edward didn't run.

Roy grimaced. "I'm asking that myself, Lieutenant," he sighed. "Since you guys had roped me up to go talk to her about what was going on in that little blonde head of hers, I did. And when I asked her what was up with her bitterness toward Christmas, she blew up on me and stormed out." Roy hesitated, before adding, "She started crying too."

The Lieutenant started to get a glimpse of what was making Mustang so guilty; he hated it when anyone cried, especially himself.

"She'll be back," Riza said, in an effort to comfort him. "It isn't like you haven't done anything to get her mad before. She'll come around." Roy snorted, and Riza suddenly understood what was going on. "Edward...what did you do to her?"

"...I asked her why she wouldn't let go, and she said, 'because I loved him'. Any idea what that could mean?" The Major General's voice was dry and hoarse, almost like he was struggling to say those words, as if they were physically painful. Riza's sherry eyes widened. Roy leaned back in his chair while Riza's mind worked miles a minute.

.

.

_It was winter in Risembool, one of those rare days when snow fell in thick sheets and covered the ground with ice. The air was chilly and bit at cheeks and painted them red. An Edward Elric with a bright smile on her face, looking happier than she had in days. She spun in the snow, tripping and falling on her face. Yes, her automail ached, but she couldn't care less. _

_"Come on!" she shouted, and waved at a brown haired man who was waiting a few yards off. He shook his head, small bits of snow falling from his hair. _

_"You'll get a cold!" he yelled back, but he smiled at her smile. It was too bad that Edward didn't notice that he wasn't smiling at her. _

_._

_._

Edward blinked away the sudden blurriness in her eyes and set a plate with a sandwich on top of it in front of Melissa. She didn't see the little girl for the whole day, and it felt like an eternity. Melissa bit into it eagerly. Edward smiled slightly but her mind was on the encounter earlier.

Her talk with Dee was interrupted by Alphonse, who was on a rush to get to Edward. But near him was someone else; a dark haired, Xingese-looking girl with her hair in braids and a devastated look on her face.

Mei had, apparently, came to visit Al and got her heart broken when she realized that he was with someone else, and very much in love. Alphonse had brought her to Edward, thinking that maybe his older sister could help explain it all, since Mei had left her home willingly and went through a lot of trouble to get back to Amestris. But there was one thing Al didn't count for; Mei didn't know that Ed was a girl.

Her eyes had popped at the sight of Edward with Dee, both chatting. The alchemist had taken off her outer coat to reveal her figure clearly through a tight black shirt that was uniformed under, and Mei was left shell-shocked.

Alphonse had left two hours ago, along with Dee. Mei stayed, however, saying that she would have liked to talk to Edward. But so far, even as Ed gave her a cup of tea, she didn't say a word.

Melissa came back from her time in Elysia's house a half-hour ago, with a huge smile, a sticker on her face, and a hug with an accompanied shout of 'Mommy!'. Mei looked at Edward oddly, before the blonde explained the situation. The Xingese nodded and sobered. Edward wondered when Lenny would come over with her work, or if he could at all; the sky outside was closely approaching sunset. Her shift would be over by now...

"So...all this has happened," Mei started softly. Edward looked toward her, startled. She had almost forgotten that she was there.

Ed nodded uncomfortably. "Uh...yeah. Must be a shocker, right?" _Nice, repeating the obvious. _What else was she supposed to say?

Mei sighed. Looking up at the older woman, she said, "I love your brother very much, Edward-san," Obviously, she looked uncomfortable talking about this; either calling a girl Edward or the fact that she used _love _instead of _loved. _"I just suppose it hurts."

She smiled. "I understand what you mean," Ed murmured. "And call me Ed. It's easier." Mei nodded.

Melissa didn't take notice of the conversation, but tugged on Edward's shirt when she was done. Edward told her to leave it there and Mei went off to play with her toys, looking happier than she had in a while.

It took a few moments, but Edward noticed the changes that Mei went through; last time Ed had seen her, the Xingese girl was twelve bordering thirteen with a will of steel. She was sixteen now, being three years younger than Edward herself and two years younger than Alphonse. No doubt her little brother's name brought a bitterness in her mouth and a dull ache in her chest. Ed knew the feeling.

"You think you can live through it?" she asked, and she knew that Mei understood what she was talking about.

Mei gave a reassuring smile, but it really wasn't reassuring. "Yes, I believe I can. After all, wounds heal with time. Even if it takes a long time, it still heals." Her voice became a little lower. "Ed-san, I really don't want to impose...but do you...mind if I stay here for a few months?"

Edward blinked at the sudden question, but Mei saw this and started to blurt out things to change her mind. "I was originally going to pay for my own little...flat, Amestrians call it, but my money got ransacked on the way. And I could do things for you! I would watch the little one and even cook and clean, but...I asked to come to Amestris. It would be shaming myself if I went back to Xing now." She ended her plead with a tone of voice that Edward wasn't sure Mei was capable of.

She did need someone to watch Melissa..."It's fine. You can stay," she said. "We have another room down there, and Melissa likes to sleep in my bed. You can stay as long...as you like, I suppose." Mei smiled in relief, oblivious to Edward's discomfort.

For the longest time, Edward had only lived with herself, or Alphonse, or her mother with her, even Winry. She wasn't big on sharing her place, liking her privacy. But in the span of a week, she had two people living with her already; people she knew, but not that greatly.

Mei stood up abruptly and bowed to her, saying, "I'm in your debt, Ed-san."

Edward smiled weakly in return. "Oh no, don't say that." Mei had this sort of trusting honesty in her eyes, and it sort of unnerved Edward. But as the Xingese girl went off to the living room to play with Melissa, Edward put her head in her hands and sighed.

.

.

* * *

A/N - Damn. I really need to update more often. x3

Sorry for those who were waiting so long DX I must've made you wait too long...and with a shorter chapter than usual, too. DX I wanted to say something - I'll be having a Questions and Answers (Q&A) for this story, so put your question in your review, if you have one! I'll post all the answers at my blog, send you a link when it's posted, and credit you for the question. :D

I won't be stopping this story anytime soon, for those who are wondering, because I love it so much. :D

-Summer

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	6. Chapter VI: Daunting Blue Skies

A/N- I've been watching lots of sappy romance movies (some of them pretty good, really) and therefore it is now the cause of all my sappiness...and the inspiration and educationally good for my romance-writing abilities, apparently. XD

_Playlist:_

_Bole Churiyan - Movie Soundtrack  
Progressive - Kalafina_

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::  
**.c h a p t e r six.

_"Let's walk under the sunlight.  
Dont't be afraid.  
If you desire it, the blue skies are within your reach."  
- Hiromu Arakawa, "Souten no Koumori"_

* * *

Edward didn't know what to do with the Christmas preparations. On one hand, she didn't want to celebrate it. On the other hand, there were about eight people counting on her to host the damn thing. She almost got Alphonse to take her place, but he refused. He did crack enough to help her, and bought all the decorations and the tree.

Melissa was putting up tinsel on the tree while vaguely explaining the meaning of Christmas to Mei. The Xingese girl, for her part, didn't look as though she understood, and came up with a "What a weird holiday!" for her thoughts. Edward agreed; a holiday over a self-acclaiming prophet? She had enough of those in one lifetime...

But honestly, Christmas used to be her favorite holiday. The smells of food, the happiness, the warmth of sharing between her and her brother and her mother, the decorations. It just..._hurt _now because of specific incident in Risembool, but she knew that all wounds healed with time; she just wasn't sure how long it was until it healed already. It seemed like every year it just opened again. But she knew that somewhere in her, Christmas was still her favorite, even if she didn't celebrate it in a _very _long time.

_Best time to start is the present, right?_ She joked weakly to herself. Hah. Now the Christmas puns were getting to her too. As if her jokes weren't bad already.

"Mommy!" Melissa called from the living room. "Can I have a cookie?"

Edward blinked and moved her bangs behind her ears. Cookies? What cookies? "What are you talking about, Melissa?" she said loudly from the kitchen. Did Mei make something? The dark-haired girl had been adamant on her promise to help Edward around the house. As in, she cooked, (partly) cleaned (mostly) and Edward even taught her about the laundry...which was done on the large balcony in her room with the help of a basin of water and a clothesline. Edward learned it the old-fashioned way in Risembool, and apparently - Mei had too.

It was sort of like a dysfunctional family. Hard to believe that just a few years ago, she was scrambling to keep her secret safe and destroy homunculi. Now she was worrying if Melissa hurt herself or if Mei had forgotten to bring her home from the Hughes's.

"The cookies that you made yesterday, mommy."

Yesterday...Oh. Mei had made those. Some type of sugar cookie found in Xing only. Who knew they had sugar cookies? Well, it wasn't exactly a cookie...some sort of small, slightly flat cake with filling inside. Mei called it some kind of 'moon cake' or something. Tasted like a sugar cookie to her. "Sure. Have only two, okay?"

"Okay!"

Knowing that girl, she probably ate three already.

Edward sighed and stood up, leaving her book on the desk and pulling down her black tank top. It was hot inside the house, and even PJ's made her a little uncomfortable. She went into the living room, tying her hair up on the way with a red band on her wrist. "What's going..." Her eyes widened at the sight.

It was like a little Christmas bomb had entered her apartment building; red and green and popcorn strings. "Whoa," she blinked. "A little to much, don't you think?" she had said, but she was smiling and ruffling Melissa hair a second later. Mei was looking on with a strange look on her face. Edward saw this, and raised an eyebrow, questioning. Mei shook her head.

"Why don't you get another box of popcorn from the pantry and heat it up, okay? You can eat that while we watch a movie later on." Melissa nodded happily and went off to the pantry, in search of a popcorn box and microwave.

"What's up?" Edward asked as soon as she was gone.

"Is that your child?" Mei had a strange look on her face as she answered a question with a question, a mixture of sadness, thoughtfulness, and an emotion Ed didn't recognize.

But she blushed first. "No! No...she just calls me that, for some reason," she said uncomfortably. "Mel hasn't been able to call me anything else, no matter how hard I try. I think I resemble her mother, so..."

"Oh." Mei's voice was soft, and almost distant.

Edward blew her bangs from her face, almost irritably. Yes, she understood the pains of growing up. Yes, she understood how hard it is to fall in love with someone who didn't really love you back. Yes, _okay, _maybe she did go into a silent state which was covered by shouting and multiple punches. But having someone else depressed in her home - well, at least she understood how Winry and Al felt now.

"Alright," said Edward, "Who wants to make invitations? Mei, you can sit out of this one. You don't look too well."

Which was, of course, Ed-language for _you're bringing the mood down. Get outta here until you're better. _But, my dear readers, no one has every really _known _Ed-language for a long time - except for Winry and Alphonse. Mei nodded and stood up to leave, bringing her sniffing breakdown with her.

Edward sighed again, and shoved away the popcorn strings that were in her face.

.

.

Lieutenant Colonel Jean Havoc didn't know _what _he was supposed to expect. Perhaps a rainy day. Perhaps another sling of missile-like bullet from Hawkeye. Certainly not spending his morning poking his boss, wondering why there was a dark cloud above his head and wondering why he kept mumbling into his crossed arms, placed slump on the desk.

After all, if there was one thing Major General Mustang prided himself in, it was his image.

"Boss...?" Havoc poked him again. "You still alive?"

Mustang groaned.

"He's sulking, Havoc," said Breda. "Something to do with yesterday." The pot-bellied man's words rang across the room lazily, and almost everyone could hear them. There was the sound of chewing, then Breda's voice again. "Only Hawkeye knows, but she won't say a word."

"Shut up," Mustang mumbled. It was a semblance of the only words he said this morning, but no one payed attention to him when he said it. "It seems as though the General is having a tough morning," Hawkeye walked in, a frown on her face and a paper stack in her arms. "Not even the sound of my gun got him up. I'm worried." Even though she said this, there was no emotion in her voice that she was in the least bit sympathetic.

"Okay...so, I guess we should ask Ed what happened?" Fuery asked, unsure. Mustang, from his desk, groaned again. "That's a no, then...?"

"_Definitely no._"

"Mmhmm. I saw her crying when she left."

Havoc's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? This is _Ed _we're talking about, right?"

Hawkeye provided Havoc with a glare. "Edward is capable of feelings other than anger, hate, and all around desperation Havoc," she said dryly. "It's not good of you to underestimate her. _And don't you dare use the excuse of PMS or I will shoot you._" The slightly chilly tone at the end of her voice didn't go unnoticed by Havoc. Nor Breda. Or Fuery. Or Falman, who was standing quiet the whole time.

"I did something stuuupidddd..." Mustang lengthened the end of the last word. His regretful, possibly depressed voice was awfully different from what his office was used to. After all, the last time he used that tone was when his 'decree' of short miniskirts didn't even make it past veto-ing. "Very stuuupiddd..."

"Well, that's not unusual."

"Don't be sarcastic with me, Lieutenant Colonel."

"Yes, sir."

Roy Mustang lifted his head up. The guilt of having made Ed cry was still like a thousand stabbing needles in his chest. Well, it might've been for the fact that he'd only seen the blonde cry once - that rainy night with the Ishbalian and Al in pieces, almost at her end. He was useless that day. And, well, he was pretty useless now. Somehow, he always was when the situation contained Edward.

The best road of action would've been to go and apologize. But there was just one thing...he was a little more than embarrassed. How the hell do you say 'sorry' to something like that?

_Because I loved him! _

Oh yeah. It was going to be a complete _breeze._

Roy's head met the table again.

"...Is he okay?"

"...I thought we established that he wasn't _completely_ okay in the head since we started working for him."

.

_Say it and leave, say it and leave..._The endless chant was repeated by him in his mind so much that it practically engraved itself in his mind. Once the office had left on errands Riza had given them, the sherry eyed woman immediately turned to him, gave him one of her best, patented glares, and pointed her gun in the direction of the door with a simple "Leave. _Now._"

Okay, so he needed an extra boost to leave the office. Ed was still one of the most scariest women he knew, ranking way high up there next to General Armstrong, Hawkeye, and that dark haired woman that showed up on the Promised Day. _Why are all blonde women so dangerous...?_

"Lenny!" Roy called, remembering the awkward young man that worked under Ed. Lenny showed up in an instant. "Where's your superior officer?" Whoa. Saying that felt so weird. As if Edward being in charge made a rather sour taste in his mouth.

"S-she's taken a day off, sir." Lenny stuttered, saluting on sight. Roy's eyebrow raised. "A day off?" How did she manage to do that? Especially when he couldn't? Ack! Now was not the time to be thinking of these things!

"Yes. A day off for...Christmas Eve, she said. In two days."

Roy cursed and left the office, leaving a very bewildered sergeant behind.

_Christmas Eve my arse,_ he went back into his office and to the coat rack, shrugging on his coat. He left a little note to Riza, hoping it would suffice enough for now, and made his way out into the cold, chilly afternoon.

He hoped that this would be the end. Ed's face, that desperate, crying face, it was more than enough to place another burden of guilt on his heart. Way too much guilt. He felt like something was literally crushing him from the inside. The last time he felt like this...well, that was another bout of unpleasant memories laid to rest on a battlefield.

Roy resolved himself to get this over with quickly.

He knocked on the door of Elric's apartment - well, it was what was said in the files anyways - and waited a few painstaking moments before someone opened the door. His eyes met a surprise as a young, very familiar looking girl stood stiff. "Are...you that Chang girl?" he asked uncertainly, narrowing his eyes. Well, someone certainly grew up. But why was she in Edward's home, much rather in Amestris...?

"Hello, Mister Mustang," Mei Chang said graciously, bowing. "Come in. I'm here on a temporary leave from my country." She made it sound like it was some sort of job being a princess, Roy thought gruffly. Then again, it probably was...He followed her into the Christmas-esque home that had the smell of gingerbread.

"Wow." he said, surprised. He didn't know that Edward had the Christmas spirit. Speaking of the Christmas spirit and Edward... "Say, Chang," he started uncomfortably. "Do you know where Full - Edward is?"

Luckily, he stopped himself from saying Fullmetal. Something about saying that in her home was like a brick was being dropped on his head. Mei looked thoughtful, then nodded. "Yes. Ed-san has retired to the bedroom." _What the hell? It's not even six! _"I can call her for you - "

"Mei, who's at the damn door?" _Speaking of the devil, _Roy swallowed as Edward came out of a door on the right, most probably her bedroom. Her hair was tied in a braid down her back, and she looked tired. Her eyes were slightly red. Immediately, Roy felt guilty. Was that because of him?

When her eyes met his, she let out a flat, "Oh."

"It's a little too early to sleep, isn't it, Edward?" Roy said, thanking to god that his persona was still up even though he was a mess inside.

If she was a little bit more than affected by their conversation yesterday, she didn't seem like it. "I wasn't sleeping, bastard," she replied stiffly. "What are you doing here?"

Roy took a quick glance at Mei, hoping his face was enough to say that he wanted to be alone for this. After all, it wasn't every day Roy Mustang was apologizing to someone and actually meaning it - especially since that person made him so _fucked up _on the inside. Mei got the note and left, planting a smile on her face. A squeal was heard a second later from a neighboring room.

"I wanted to apologize," he cleared his throat. "For yesterday."

There was a series of emotions that flitted across her face; suspicion, confusion, realization. Did she forget what had happened already? If so, that would make it much harder...but then Edward slapped a hand to her forehead.

"Saa...you can leave now, Mustang."

Roy blinked. "What?"

When Edward removed the hand from her face, her cheeks were slightly red. Her nose was too. _She was embarrassed. _"I was...a little out of it yesterday," she mumbled, puffing up a cheek in a childish fashion. "You don't need to apologize."

That was probably the most nicest thing Edward had said to him in the whole time she'd been working under him. Well, that was what he thought; not allowing him to take the blame, even though it was clearly his fault. Roy had egged on something that he should've left alone, but he didn't. Besides, the little dark bundle of guilt wouldn't leave him alone.

"No, I do," he insisted. "I'm the one who didn't shut his big mouth. So..." Roy shrugged, leaving the sentence to finish itself. He looked away and checked his watch for the time, just to see if he could get enough time to buy a coffee. He was over-aware of Edward staring at him, probably thinking long and hard.

Finally, she said, "...You really are a bastard."

Roy grinned. "Yeah, well."

.

.

Before Edward knew it, it was December 25th, the day of the party. She was the host. How do you be a host? Edward's earliest memories of even being in a party where her family held it...she was three. Three only. And that was the last time people came over to her home for a special occasion. And even then, not a lot of people came.

There was a knock on her door, and seeing as how Mei was still asleep, Edward stood up to get it. When she opened the door, a large blue bag was shoved in her face before she could see the owner. However, what was holding it up was a pair of rough, weathered out hands. And a ring. She'd recognize that ring anywhere.

"Winry...?"

Said blonde girl appeared from the side of the bag a second later, bringing it down. Winry placed her hands on her hips and sighed. "Ed, what are we going to do with you?"

"...What?"

Winry rolled her eyes. Edward noticed that her hair was up and curled, which was what she usually did for Christmas. And there was light makeup on her face, which completed her nicely. There was a sky blue formfitting dress on her body, with a loosened skirt. She was dressed up for the Christmas party. But it was still in three hours, and she didn't have Alphonse with her...

Winry seemed to noticed the look that Edward was giving her. "I asked Al if he could stay with Mister Mustang and the rest of the crew for a while," Winry said, walking in without being invited. "I told him that I needed to talk to you. _Girl to girl._"

She took on the tone that made Edward wince. "Girl...to...girl...?"

"Yes. You need help to get out a dress and stuff like that - "

Edward almost choked on her own saliva. "_What? _No, I'll just wear - "

"What? You'll wear _what?_ That suit and tie again?" Winry scowled, before it loosened and she gave Edward a mixed look. It was fear, determination, self-regret. But Winry had nothing to regret, so why did she look like that? "No matter what you say, you're a girl, Ed."

_You're a girl, Ed. _

Snow. White purity. Smiles and laughter and brown hair. It all attacked her mind in a flurry of memories. Like every year, with that unstable ache, the desire to cry her eyes out every time she looked at something Christmas-like. The want to just break down...too great. Too much. She sniffed, feeling the hotness in the corner of her eyes. _Someone else said the exact same thing to me too. _

Winry seemed to notice that Ed wasn't saying anything. "Hey, what's..."

When the golden blonde female started to cry, she didn't say anything. It wasn't the type of crying that needed to be comforted. Tears fell slowly, silently, patiently, as if they were biding their time to fall because they were waiting so long. Edward was crying because she needed to cry, not because her feelings demanded it so. Edward was stronger than that. She just wasn't strong enough.

"I bet we can curl your hair," she said softly, taking out a hand for her childhood friend to take. "I brought a dress for you. You look stunning in red."

Edward laughed and shook her head, wiping at her face absentmindedly. She looked at Winry's outstretched hand, remembering when she was six and in school, how this same girl was able to bring her out of her dark hole she dug up. For some reason, Winry was always picking her up. Edward remembered that Winry wasn't the only one picking people up; Ed was picking her up too...but for now, this was the lemon blonde's turn.

They worked in circles. Funny how that happened.

"It better not be showy," Ed sniffed, taking the hand and allowing herself to be dragged into the bedroom by a giggling mechanic. "I really hate showy dresses."

_No, I just hate not being able to stand up again. _

_._

_._

Edward couldn't believe it. It took an hour to prepare, a half hour to choose a stupid dress that she didn't even agree on fully - apparently, Winry brought more than one dress and more than one was definitely showing some skin - and now it was taking another hour to do _makeup. _Winry had this look of very hard patience on her face, wiping and applying and taking off again. All the time she would keep mumbling "No, no..." with her eyebrows furrowed.

Mei had taken out Melissa on a walk on Ed's orders, but they weren't done when the Xingese came back. Mei went into Ed's room to tell of how Melissa dropped ice-cream on her dress, and was immediately stopped by the golden blonde.

Edward's face flamed under the darker haired girl's stare, and open mouth, and was sure that she looked horrible. After all, it wasn't possible to look _nice _in so much stuff. How were you supposed to move? But Mei squealed in a very Mei-like fashion, and said quite enthusiastically; "Ed-san! You look so pretty!"

Melissa had to come in an add fuel to the fire of course. "Mommy, you look beautiful!" she gasped. Edward's eye twitched and even though her face was red, she took a deep breath before: "_OUT!_" However, it didn't affect them much and they ran off giggling like schoolgirls.

"They're like sisters," Winry laughed. "And you're certainly the mom."

"Don't tease me." Ed grumbled, frustrated and half embarrassed. When was this going to _end, _dammit? It seemed endless and she really couldn't believe that it was Christmas _today _and she was wearing _makeup. _Oh yeah. That thought just stuck around like an annoying bee.

Winry went into the living room and immediately began chatting with Riza, who had just arrived in a stunning, mahogany dress that complemented her eyes. It was a long-sleeved one that draped off her arms like a sort of medieval princess. The bottom flowed nicely, and her hair was out. Winry greeted her with an embrace, and then went on to Sheska, then to Rebecca, and then to the rest of the people that came and kept coming.

"She's the perfect hostess, don't you think?" Jean said amusedly as the blonde laughed at something Sheska joked. "I agree," Riza took a sip of her water, which was provided by Winry (Of course.) "She's lively."

Jean frowned, something plaguing his mind for the last few moments. "Where's Ed? I haven't seen her all night. I didn't think she'd hate Christmas _that _much..."

"I don't know." Riza set down her glass, and her own frown matched Jean's. "I don't see Roy either."

"Oh, don't worry about him. He's coming late. Something about the car breaking down."

Riza let out an annoyed breath but didn't say anymore. There was a weird bubbling feeling in Jean's chest that he knew well. He just hoped that it would ruin the rest of the night for him.

Melissa came into the room dressed in all red and black, two colors that were widely known as 'Edwards''; it wasn't a surprise that perhaps she had picked them out. But she picked them out good; the little ribbons complemented her rosy cheeks, and she looked absolutely adorable. The occupants of the room let her know that, the whole place revibrating with coos and 'aaaw!'s.

Mei came out soon afterward, just wearing something traditional from her country. Riza could definitely see the many eyes on the pretty foreign princess. Somehow, it turned into a contest of clothes today, but when hadn't it? Mei caught her eye and hurried over, to Riza's surprise.

"Hawkeye-san!" she bowed hurriedly, braids flying. "I never got to thank you for what happened years back. I owe you my deepest gratitude. If there is anything you want to ask, please just ask me."

Jean shot her an amused look, but Riza just smiled. "Well, can you tell me where Edward is?"

Mei giggled.

"Speaking of Ed..." Winry came over with a ruffled sigh and plopped down on the couch. "She won't come out of her room."

"Why not?" asked Jean.

"..."

Mei laughed. "Ed-san looks so pretty, but she's too embarrassed to come out! I love the color of what she's wearing too - "

"I _know! _And I picked it out specially for her! I don't mean to sound superficial or anything, but Ed is still a woman! She needs to get out more often! Jeez, she doesn't need me to push her all the time..." Winry suddenly became quiet at the end of the sentence, something that didn't go by any of the other guests. She had this sort of far away look in her eyes that Ed used to get when talking about the past. Suddenly, she shook her head and came back with determined blue eyes, standing up quickly. "That's it. I'm getting Ed." And her tone was so final, that no one dared to contradict her.

Roy came into the room, dressed in a dark blue suit and looking very tired. "Did I miss anything?" he had asked, but Winry had already left and he didn't really look like he cared if he was late or not. Well...same old Roy, Jean thought.

"Well, we haven't seen Ed all night." Riza informed, looking more amused than annoyed. Roy raised a brow and looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. "All night? She's that serious about not showing up?"

"Apparently."

There were shuffling noises from the corresponding room, and an awful lot of noises. There was a shattering. Was Edward really that hesitant to come out? "_No way! I'm not going out there, and you damn well can't make me!_" "_Ed, stop acting like a brat!_" "_I'm NOT GOING!_" ...Well, that answered that question. Many of the occupants looked toward the source of the noise before the door was opened violently.

Winry came out holding someone's arm, clad in red. Edward was looking very unpleased, going as far as even blushing heavily. Riza surely didn't believe her eyes. Edward had always managed to look like someone of unisex, back when she first entered. Then she looked slightly more feminine as she grew older, but now there really was no _denying _that she could - that she was, in fact, female.

The blonde alchemist was wearing a red dress, just as Winry brought it. It was a long-sleeved one, but one shouldered so that the automail port was still covered. The scars of the port still peeked, but it was covered by an ornate chain necklace that drooped from her slender neck. The dress was corseted to her hips, then flew freely to her knees in layers of frothy cloth. Her hair was curled and was in an up do with her bangs left out in front.

"You do look wonderful, Edward." Riza complemented, temporarily stunned and quickly getting over it. Edward's natural features were highlighted too; the only makeup she seemed to have on was eyeliner. Her lips and cheeks were naturally red, so there must've been nothing done to them.

"Thanks..." Edward hid herself behind Winry, quickly switching from loud and boisterous to shy. "Um...you guys can...uh...go back to partying? Or...whatever? Dammit, just stop looking at me!"

Riza chuckled and peeled the girl away from the mechanic. "You look lovely, Ed. Red certainly is your color and it fits perfectly with the Christmas theme. Have you seen Melissa?" Riza was keeping Edward off the topic of her own looks, remembering how she acted when she saw herself in the mirror - female self - for the first time in a long while. Also, it was good to keep her off the subject of Roy, which was probably still bitter from two days ago.

"You look adorable, birthday girl." Edward poked Melissa's nose, and one thing she said didn't go unnoticed.

"Birthday girl?" asked Jean.

Ed nodded. "Today's her sixth."

"And we didn't get a present either," Riza frowned.

"It's fine! I think Melissa agrees with me that you guys just being here was enough of a present for all of us. Oh, Al's here! Little bro, come over here!"

Edward gave Alphonse a one-armed hug, bouncing Melissa on one hip while the little girl reached out and bopped Jean's nose. "You look like a princess, sis." Alphonse chuckled before Edward gave him a slap on the head. "No, really - you do look nice. And...that hurt."

"Serves you right." Ed grumbled, but Riza could see that she was a tad bit happier. "Hey, Winry's been waiting for you, so hurry up and get to her before she beats me over the head with her damn wrench."

"Why would she beat _you _over the head?"

"Because I'm her favorite."

There was laughter from the corresponding sides, and Edward went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Alphonse stared critically at her back, biting a lip before smiling gently. "She seems happier. Thank god."

"She wasn't before?" Riza smoothed down her dress and took a seat on the sofa, which seemed in lack of abundance. Most of the guests were standing (either by free will or forced, it was hard to tell, they were all chatting) but all seemed pretty pleased with themselves. Riza's eyes followed to the dining table, where there was food set already. Most of which seemed like Gracia's cooking, but it wasn't clear.

Alphonse cleared his throat on the uncomfortable topic. "Well...this time of year wasn't the best. As long as she's enjoying herself, then it's alright...right?" Alphonse was asking himself more than Riza, and the Lieutenant had to wonder what would make him this desperate to set the whole thing up for his sister. Curiosity wasn't the best idea right now, so Riza nodded with the vague answer and took a sip of champagne that was given out earlier.

"Definitely," Riza said, giving Alphonse a motherly, affectionate smile. "It'll all be fine, Alphonse."

The younger Elric thanked her in return, knowing that Jean's eyes were on them the whole time. Al didn't really have much motherly figures, but Riza definitely was one of them. Her ability to calm anyone down - or hurry anyone up - during a situation was remarkable, even if she didn't know what the hell they were going on about.

For Edward, she was seemingly enjoying herself. Most of the time she was talking with Gracia or Winry or Sheska, or another female companion. She didn't converse much to the men, for some reason, but offered a more politer conversation and a strange smile. Yet no one commented; what would they say? They could only watch as Melissa jumped out of Ed's arms and ran after Elysia.

"You know, you're acting more like a mother than a bigger sister," Gracia said with a twinkle in her eye. Edward choked on her glass of water and patted her chest, looking slightly off-balance.

"Hell, I hope I'm not," she snorted. At Gracia's surprised look, Edward shook her head. "I'm too young to be a mom. I refuse to even think of the idea, actually."

She had a slightly regretful look on her face, something akin to the one she had whenever talking about her own mother. "It's about Miss Elric, isn't it?" Gracia's eyes softened when the blonde nodded. Gracia didn't say anymore but offered a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Well, no use of mourning over it now," she said, grumbling. "The past is the past, after all." However, there was still a sort of darker light in her eyes. Rebecca had interrupted in their conversation - which had practically ended, now it was more like a comfortable silence - and pulled Gracia away, telling her stories about her beloved husband. Edward smiled at them two, before it disappeared from her face.

She went into the kitchen briefly, but then she didn't really feel 'in the mood' to be in the party. And besides - all the curls that Winry had pinned up on her head; well...they were starting to hurt. Granted, there were only a few, but the curls fell in her face now and it was irritating. She slipped out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, hoping to get rid of all of them soon. Perhaps she could change too...

Edward stood in front of the mirror and pulled at her hair, fumbling to get the bobby pin out. Her hands were tangled inside her own hair, but she worked until she got one out. However, her hair was even more a mess, which would take some time to comb.

"That's not how you do it." A voice shocked Edward out of her stupor; she dropped the few bobby pins in her hand and the comb too. She turned to glare at the familiar but unsuspecting figure in the doorway; "Mustang. What the hell are you doing here?"

Roy Mustang was probably staring at her for a few minutes. The knowledge that Edward was a girl - no, more like a woman - wasn't new to him, but...seeing her in a dress, an _actual feminine dress, _kind of hit him that all those years under his command was a lie. The male Edward was probably still a part of _her, _but not her completely.

"I was looking for the bathroom and ended up here instead," he said truthfully. "By the way - you're taking out the pins all wrong." he added at the end.

Edward rolled her eyes. "I think I _know _that, bastard." She tugged at a stray curl irritably. "It keeps hurting. What the hell did Winry _do?_"

As Winry was grumbling, Roy was reminded slightly - he walked forward in large steps and quickly, before she could complain, threaded his fingers through her locks and took out two pins by itself, letting her hair fall down to her waist in unruly corkscrews that had been loosened. She sat open mouthed for a while before he set the pins down on the table and sat down at the foot of the bed, looking at her through the mirror.

"That didn't hurt," she said, surprised. Ed ran her flesh fingers through her hair. "Huh. Guess you're good for something after all." Roy was about to open his mouth and protest, but then Edward turned around with a shine in her eyes; she looked younger than he had ever seen her, and perhaps a little bit more docile too. Her hair flied with her. "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

Roy raised an eyebrow at the personal question, but Ed's eyes were rather - they were - well - he couldn't ignore them. There was something childish about the curiosity, so he just had to answer. "My mom, she used to have that hairstyle all the time every day and night. She would fall asleep with it when she was home, and I would take the pins out of her hair because I knew they would hurt in the morning," he revealed as little as he could. Even though he left out the part of his mother being a prostitute, somehow Edward seemed to know from the slight embarrassed flush and turn of her head. "She died around this time last year."

The blonde blinked, before her still red mouth performed a little 'o'. Then she seemed to be thinking over something, apparently very hard by the way her eyebrows were creased.

"Well..." she seemed rather hesitant to say this part, but after one look at Roy's questioning face, she let out a long sigh. "When I was fourteen, I fell in love with a guy in Risembool." Roy stared as a small smile - painful, joyful, mixed with so many emotions that he was stunned for a good second - graced her face. However, her eyes were dark and she was looking away.

"He was really sweet to me. I guess I was really naive back then, so I didn't really notice; but...we were...in the means of the word _dating - _" she adopted a light blush and Roy felt something pang in his chest, " - around the beginning of December. He was always smiling, and it made me smile too. But the thing was...he was never smiling at _me._ It was a farmer's daughter." Ed went eerily quiet after that. "I saw it on Christmas. I've hated the holiday and him ever since. Because it still hurts."

To his surprise and minor chagrin, Roy actually saw Ed blink back a few tears. She covered her face from him quickly and wiped at it, and Roy did the least thing he could do; he pretended not to notice.

"So...why're you telling _me _about it now?" he asked, curious. It wasn't like he wasn't interested, but at least he knew at lot more, even as vague as it was. He didn't know that about Edward. In fact, now that he thought about it, he didn't know a _lot _of things about Edward.

Edward sniffed inconspicuously and laid her chin on her stacked arms, which were on the back of her chair facing him. "Equivalent exchange," she murmured. "You told me something of your past, I told you something of my past."

The answer was so Edward-like that Roy had to sit in his spot with a blank face for a moment. They, he snickered behind his hand before he heard Edward growl, "What the hell are you laughing at, Mustang!"

The fact that she said 'Mustang' instead of 'bastard' completely slipped his mind.

"Nothing. It was just a typical answer for you. _Very _typical." he chuckled still. Edward blew a strand of her hair away from her face, and looked out the window. "I don't want to go back to the party," she said softly at last. "It's too noisy in there. Makes my head hurt. I hate parties."

"Agreed," Roy nodded. Then, he turned to the window Edward was looking at, feeling oddly comfortable with her presence. "But it's odd - I didn't know that you had loved someone before. Or that he knew you were...a girl." Roy didn't know why he was hesitant on the last part, but Edward didn't seem to notice. Roy had felt this annoying, bubbling feeling in his stomach when Edward had told him about the guy on Christmas, the official name of what he'd given the bastard (wait, why did Roy call him a bastard?) in his head.

The bubbling feeling was odd. He felt jittery. He didn't like it. Not one bit.

"All of Risembool knew, Mustang." Edward replied to his earlier statement with no malice in her voice. "I grew up there. They just never told anyone else. And if it got leaked, everyone would just blow it away as some stupid rumor or a derangement on my reputation." She laughed, but it wasn't mirthful. "Rules to have fans, huh?"

"Not really." Roy said silently. Something about raising his voice made it seem like it would break the small, tranquilizing peace they held. "I don't particularly find it fun, amusing, or good in any way."

"Not even with the women you hoard up?" Ed snorted. Roy felt suddenly uncomfortable. He didn't want to talk to Edward about his past relationships, about what he'd done. For some reason, he felt ashamed just for thinking about it.

Roy tugged the end of his sleeve. "That...something I'd rather not talk about right now," he said, avoiding the topic cleanly. Edward raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment, thank god. He felt an out-of-place sense of relief. There was a quiet pause as the loud chattering of people laughing gaily and the clinking of glasses filtered through the room, but then Edward began talking again.

When she spoke, there was a sort of soft quality to her voice, and Roy saw that she had a pretty smile on her face while looking at him. A friendly smile. And she looked much more relaxed than when he saw her at the beginning of the evening (clad in red, stunning) with her tense shoulders. "Hey, Mustang? This isn't that bad, right? Just talking?" _Who knew how much we had in common? _Roy added to the end of his sentence, sensing that Edward was thinking it too.

But he had to agree with her. There was something habitual talking to her without screaming, shouting, snapping, or becoming highly irritated in general. A nice break from the usual. It seemed like they could've been friends earlier if they had just tried. Roy felt something pang at him again.

"Yeah, it is." he replied, and he found that he wasn't lying one bit.

.

.

* * *

A/N - Erm...hello? Well, I'm on a particularly bad week, my head hurts, and I've run out of oreos already. DX New chapter, yay~? I guess so. Yeah. Ahem. I need coffee. If only Laura could poof over some of her mint-hot-chocolate-coffee thing that's got her wired up so badly...DX

Nah, don't you guys dare feel sorry for me. :3 Voting for the GoldWorth Awards start in three days, just putting it out there. :D Aaaaaand, therefore, you must vote. MUST. UNDERSTAND? Good. :3 No other notes, it seems, other than the fact that I'm tired. Saa, I've revised this chapter so much...

So please review for me? Because I worked really hard on this one? Pleeeaaaase? /puppy eyes

...Oh. And apparently, I've become a surrogate mother of two more people. XD Yay me~

-Summer

.

.


	7. Chapter VII: Forgetful Faces And Memoirs

A/N- I have seemed to become a homunculus. Huh. Funny. I always thought I was the bubbly, stab you in the back and front type. xD Don't you think so too? I feel crabby today. Perhaps it's the lack of oreos. Yes, must get some oreos... Oh, and someone mentioned the age difference between Ed and Roy? It's nine years. I've cut off five years, yeah, whatever. Roy is sixteen when he joins, and he's twenty when he meets the Elric's. So I think it's fine, right? My mom and dad are nine years apart, so that's what I'm basing off on. :D

_Playlist:_

_Oh Glory - Panic! At the Disco  
Memories - Panic! At the Disco  
Lithium - Evanescence  
_

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::**  
.c h a p t e r seven.

_"Look at the people you're killing in the face. Remember them. And don't forget.  
Don't forget.  
Because I assure you, they won't forget you either."  
- Solf J. Kimblee, "The Crimson Alchemist"_

* * *

"It wasn't that bad," sighed Winry as she kicked off her shoes and brought up her legs to sit cross-legged on the couch. Her legs disappeared under layers of creamy fabric. It was about three in the morning, and the only ones left were her and Edward, Alphonse leaving off after being slipped too much champagne. Edward sat down on the chair opposite of her, rubbing her temples. "Okay, yeah, maybe it was tiring." she admitted.

"More than tiring," Edward ran a hand through her bangs. "Totally exhausting. Next time, you're holding the party. No, in fact, all the next times. And don't expect me to be there, capiche?"

Winry rolled her eyes. "You're being melodramatic."

"With perfectly good reason."

The blonde mechanic blew a piece of her hair out of her eyes. "Well, you were in your room for the most part. What were you doing in there anyways? I can't think of anything to keep you occupied. Except getting your hair out."

"Yes, that's how it started," said Edward, remembering the unpleasant sensations that the particular experience brought. "But then I started to talk with Mustang. Oh, and for future reference - you are _not _allowed to touch my hair anymore."

Winry pouted. "Not even to braid?"

Edward replied without missing a beat. "No."

"You're mean."

The golden blonde sighed and lolled her head back, wishing that she could go to sleep if it wasn't for work in the morning. She could get in a few hours of study and then maybe her all-nighter wouldn't be so bad...it would be more tolerable, at least. She had a nagging feeling that tomorrow was a day that was supposed to be special. "Hey Ed, what were you talking about with Mustang?"

Even though her facial expression didn't change, the annoyance in her voice was audible. "Stuff." She saw Winry raise her eyebrow out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored it, instead choosing to staring at the empty champagne bottle covered in broken, glittering pieces of tinsel.

"What _kind _of stuff?"

"Stuff that should not be repeated to a seventeen year old by the name of Winry Rockbell," Edward said promptly before glaring. "I mean it, Win." Winry pouted in a '_but I want to know_' manner that didn't seem to have taken any effect on the child prodigy, seeing as how she simply picked at the frays of the layers on her dress. "I wanna take this off," Ed moaned.

"Then take it off."

"Can't. Too tired."

Winry sighed irritably. She was doing that a lot now. "That's not surprising."

"Shut up."

It felt like there was someone else in her body, like a stranger that had temporarily taken over. The feeling of something crawling under your skin wasn't pleasant, and Edward couldn't shake off the bundle of nerves inside her stomach that laid to rest all night (and a good portion of the morning) seeing as how it didn't want to leave. She couldn't cover it fully, seeing as how it kept filling the gap in her mind every time it would wander.

Alphonse had noticed, and so had Winry. Neither had commented, but Edward was starting to regret having people who knew her so well. It was almost like she was translucent in their eyes and she could remember with startling clarity the lost look in Winry's eyes when she was masquerading as a male. A small part of her still wished for those days; moments and weeks where she could just sit and pretend to be Edward Elric, the brave Fullmetal Alchemist, and not Edward Elric, the southern Risembool girl that always had a thing for strawberries and ice-cream.

She just didn't feel as harrowed, as comfortable as she did when she was male, seemingly hard lines that weren't depicted and short statured rants and loud was almost like that part had become a real part of her, and she was finding it increasingly hard to accept - _she _wasn't as welcome as _he _was. And apparently, _he _didn't want to stick around as much as _she _didn't want to face it.

Edward could feel herself groan again - it was as Granny had said; she was always finding excuses to go through lengths that were too long to find the answer while the simpler ways were better. She couldn't help the fact that she over-analyzed everything to the point of confusion. It was the way she was _wired. _It was in her _blood, _for god damn's sake.

The blonde looked up as her childhood friend stood and stretched, bending down to pick up her shoes and her bag. "I'm going back," said Winry, pushing hair out of her eyes and smoothing out a wrinkle in her skirt. "You try to get some sleep."

"Yeah yeah," Edward waved away her concern and got up as well, following her to the door so she could close it. Just as Winry was on the brink of leaving, she tensed and turned around. "Look, you're okay, right?" she asked, worry evident in her eyes. Edward was taken aback for a second, but she nodded and smiled.

"I'm just fine. You worry about what Al's gonna do when he's up and moving tomorrow, got it?"

"Ara, I don't need you telling me stuff like that. Crap, I think you really _might've _turned into a mother."

Winry's statement was met with a pillow being thrown her way, which the mechanic gladly accepted and giggled. "Get the fuck outta here." grumbled Ed, but her words didn't have malice.

"Aw, you know you can't live without me," Winry teased. Edward rolled her eyes. Suddenly, the lemon-blonde's smile became softer. "You know, you can talk to me about anything. I'll always be here to listen." Edward pushed layers of fabric out of her lap, and then nodded while not meeting the others' eyes. She was older (by a month, dammit) but it always seemed like Winry was the older one between them.

"Yeah, I know."

Winry grinned. "I love ya'. Do you know that too?" Edward laughed and nodded again, leaning back against the armchair. Suddenly, Winry puffed out her cheeks and put on a mock 'devastated' look. "Dear god, I've confessed!"

"And I've been confessed to!" Edward shook her head. "Al is _not _going to be happy."

Winry made a noise similar to 'pfffft'. "Who says we're gonna tell him?" Edward giggled. Yeah, talking with Winry was something she hadn't done in a long time - chatting with her, being with her, joking and just being a _girl _- well, it was a foreign feeling. But it was a good foreign feeling. Bubbly and happy, warm and sweet, relaxing and almost ethereal in the peeking sunlight. "Bad Winry. Don't cheat on Al with a girl."

"Even if it's you?" she raised a brow. "Yes, even if it's me." Edward smirked. "My little brother'll be devastated~! No matter how good-looking his sister is." Edward snickered, feeling light inside.

"Cocky, aren't we?" But even as Winry said that, she was laughing. Giggly. Drunk. That was how she felt. But not really - something that hung precariously on the edge of that. "I need to go," sighed the mechanic as she took a look at the clock.

"Yeah, okay," Edward yawned. "I'm comin' to see you out." The blonde got up at her words, stretching slightly and hearing her bones pop when she did so. Winry looked at her blankly before shaking her head in a 'what can you do?' manner and picking up her things in her arms. The whole thing took about five minutes, and she had her blue sandals in her hands and barefoot on the ground outside.

"My offer still stands," she reminded Edward. "Talk to me." It was more of a silent plead than a command. Edward nodded once after a pause, and didn't look Winry in the eyes - how could she? There was still so much to say...so much that she didn't know. But it wasn't her job to tell - it was Al's. As Winry left, she closed the door behind her, and locked it with a 'click'.

She hummed and fingered a loose curl, which didn't show any sign of straightening anytime soon. A pity. She liked her hair straight. Come to think of it, didn't she have a meeting with the Fuhrer today? Something about the State Alchemist division acting properly? She didn't know, but figured that it must be important anyways. After all, this was those other heathen countries they were talking about, which Amestris had just recently mended ties with.

She sighed and went into her room, passing Mei's and Melissa's on the way. Edward smiled, thankful that the Xingese girl was very good with children. Especially children like Melissa, whom Edward had seen limping for no other reason than she had twisted her sprained ankle that healed weeks ago. Melissa was rather accident prone, Edward noticed, which wasn't a good thing when she was near Edward, who was trouble-prone. Those two weren't the best of mixes.

Edward picked up a stray popcorn string. She looked around her apartment and groaned. "This shit will take at _least _a month to clean," she murmured to herself. "If only people had a cleaning switch on them."

She picked up the few pieces of Christmas leftovers that she could find and cleaned up, starting to feel the dress chaffing her. She still hadn't had the chance to take it off. It was about four in the morning when she finally retired to her room.

Edward exchanged the dress for sweats and her black tank top. Pulling it down, she frowned when she saw her hair wasn't exactly in the best of positions to be braided. So she gathered her hair at the base of her neck and tied it, leaving her bangs as usual.

"God, I look like a friggin' gypsy," she pushed hair out of her face, annoyed. "Never again will I let her touch my hair. _Never again._"

.

.

"Er...sir, you don't look that good...are you sick?" Sergeant Herald Lenny commented, looking genuinely worried for his superior officer. Edward nodded, sleep-logged, but still conscious. Her eyes opened wider and she sighed.

"I just need a cup of strong coffee," she explained. "Then I'll be up in a jiff. I've done all-nighters in a row, Lenny. It's not a big deal."

Herald Lenny didn't seem to be convinced, but he complied with his superior officer's wishes and left the room. Edward blew an annoyed breath and leaned back in her leather chair. It was much lonelier in this office than it was in the old one,and she often found herself wondering if it was better if she hadn't gotten a promotion after all.

"Hah, of course it is." she muttered to herself, remembering the pay, the honorable discharge, the priority of having insurance for life with the deal of being a State Alchemist that she hadn't really gone over - or cared about - when she was twelve. But what good was making sure your life was safe when you didn't do anything to risk it?

Now she was definitely going insane - actually _wanting _to take part in military affairs? What had happened to those days ranting about how she couldn't stand it? How she couldn't wait until she got her brother's body back, until she was at home resting peacefully, until she could rip off the dog chain that a State Alchemist title carried over her...but another part was saying that she wanted to stay here, wanted to feel the thrill of having the world laid out in front of her, of having everything to explore. But she promised her brother and Winry...and then what would become of her wanderlust? It wasn't as if it would go away easily.

And the fact that she had only known the military life as long as she could remember, well it was hard to find herself in a new job position. She couldn't see herself doing anything but this. Would Al understand? Of course he would. He understood everything. It didn't mean that it made Ed any happier, none-the-less. In fact, it just made her more insecure.

Her automail hand twitched out of instinct, he jumpy nerves getting the best of her. "I need to keep calm," she reminded herself. "It's just a decision. And I don't even need to make it now." It wasn't like anyone was expecting it. It wasn't like they were waiting for it. No one had asked what she wanted to do in her life, but she could see it hiding behind their eyes; they were wondering, and what Edward hated most was when people expected something of her.

Edward's eyes caught something on the corner of her desk as she reached for the coffee that Lenny had left for her. Apparently he had left something more than that too; this file was in better care than most she had seen. Manilla, long and sealed with the Fuhrer's crest. Eyebrows raising to her hairline, Edward took a sip of her drink and then proceeded to get her letter opener.

_To Colonel Edward Elric, (Codename: Fullmetal)_

_The Fuhrer G. Grumman officially dictates for Colonel Elric to be one of the ten liaisons that are to be present at the National Conference on March 13, 1919. Colonel Elric will serve as one of the official representatives between the countries of Xing, Arbecia, Aerugo, Drachma, and Creta._

_Participation is mandatory. Congratulations to Colonel Elric for this position; the first draft will begin on January 7__th__..._

The paper dropped from Edward's hands to the floor. There were still about two more pages for her to read, but the first paragraph was enough. _Me? A liaison? Really? Is the Fuhrer insane?_ It was almost as bad as being an ambassador, and Edward knew what that felt like. She could not stand those type of things again. It would be her utter humiliation.

But how can she refuse? It wasn't as if this was her choice. _Participation is mandatory, _they said. She had to. She didn't want to.

Edward groaned; if only it was as easy as it seemed to be back when she was still searching for the Philosopher's Stone...back then when she was still a Major and all she had to do was complete missions to get what she wanted. Now she had responsibilities. What the hell?

_You're an adult, _one part of her mind whispered. _What did you think?_

Apparently she had thought just that; that perhaps she would always be wandering, moving places and seeing new things. There was something inside of her that wanted that, despite the fact that she should've been at home with Alphonse and Winry. It wasn't what she really wanted...and yet it was. Did that make sense? She didn't know. It seemed as though everyone and everything confused her these days. Was she older or younger? Was she male or female? Was she wounded or healed? Was she crumbling into the smallest corners of her mind, finally? Because it didn't seem like she was completely sane. Everything faded in and out – there was nothing that was brightly shining in her eyes anymore. Even the picture of her little brother was diluted unless she saw him. His face, his eyes, his hair. His arms and his skin, his pulse; everything that told her that _yes _he was still alive.

"Ah, I see you got that too, Chief." First Lieutenant Jean Havoc noticed the piece of paper that Edward was still clutching tightly in her hands. His eyebrows had shot up when he saw the seal and crest, knowing what it was immediately.

"What?" Edward looked down at her hands, startled. She blinked and let it go, not knowingly causing them to crumple. "Oh, um..."

Jean chuckled. "It's alright. The Boss got it too; he was pretty surprised. I don't think he's very happy about it – I mean, seeing as he regularly doesn't like public visits."

"Really? Seems kind of like he enjoys the attention to me," Edward said, a little stunned. She didn't know Mustang didn't like to show his face; he was the type of guy that she always assumed wanted the spotlight.

"Nah," Jean waved away the thought. "He's more of a desk Colonel than he likes to admit. Oh, I've got the reports on the new State Alchemist Dept. Hawkeye wanted me to bring 'em to you." Jean handed over a stack of papers that indeed had the blonde Major's handwriting on it.

"Tell her I said thank you." Ed nodded, satisfied. "This really helps a lot."

Jean gave her a grin and made a move to turn around, but it was only until he had gotten up to the door that Edward decided to speak up from behind him. Her voice was curious and a little sly. "Havoc, do you have a thing for Riza?" She used the first name on purpose, the sound of it coming from her lips a little teasingly.

Jean froze, however, and turned around. Edward almost burst into laughter at his wide-blue-eyed look, mouth hanging open. "It's not that very well concealed, you know. It's a wonder Hawkeye hasn't figured it out yet."

"Yeah, well, I cover it up easily," said Jean a little defensively. At Edward's upraised hands of surrender and the twinkle in her eye (god she was getting more like Hughes every day) Jean sighed. "Don't tell anyone else, okay?"

"Alright," Edward grinned. "Everyone else in the office already knows anyways."

Edward gave it a moment to sink in, and then laughed out loud when Jean's look of pure terror broke through the surface; after all, was it really that surprising that all of the office had known? Even if Havoc was good enough an actor to pretend in front of Hawkeye, he couldn't pretend forever – and when he finally got tired, that was when he let his guard down. Of course they knew. It was so damn obvious that it was funny, sweet, and exhilarating at the same time. Edward knew that pretending took a lot of energy – it was no wonder why Havoc had broken so easily, so early. He obviously wasn't used to having these feelings.

_Pretending..._

_I wonder. When am I going to __stop pretending__...and break?_

.

.

Roy Mustang was having a fine day...at the beginning.

First it was the notice that he was a military liaison with nine other people that told him that the day was going to be bad. Then it was probably the fact that his paperwork was literally reaching the top of the room. Then it was Hawkeye being pissed off about something that he didn't know about ("I'll take care of it, sir," she had said stiffly when asked about it), and then it was probably the fact that his coffee just kept on damn _dropping. _He couldn't live without at least a cup of that brew. And somehow, today, coffee just hated him for some goddamn unfair reason.

It was when he was reaching for his third cup did the day really seem to be turning out _really _bad.

Sure, okay, he wasn't looking. That wasn't his fault – totally – and he promised himself that he would...try, at least, harder next time. How was he supposed to know that Edward was right behind him and that they would bump into each other? He didn't. Yet she was still mad. It wasn't the greatest thing in the world having two of the most dangerous people in the military (both blonde women – can his life suck anymore?) pissed off. Especially seeing as how one of them was rather pissed at _him._

"Seriously, Mustang?" Edward screwed up her nose, wiping at her _white _t-shirt. Where it seemed as though the stain would stay forever. The woman didn't flinch at the hot brew, but rather was fussing over the shirt itself. Mustang had some on him too, but not as much as it was on the Colonel; thank god that no one was here to see the slip-up.

"Dammit, I don't think I have another shirt on hand," she sighed. "Really? Next time look, bastard."

"Can't you just transmute it out?" Roy said, scowling. It was an _accident. _Really. It was. "I thought you could do that."

Edward nodded, but there was something hesitant in her eyes. "This is Hawkeye's shirt. Mine is..." she trailed off, looking guilty, and Roy had the feeling that it was something that had to do with why Riza was so mad earlier. Smartly, he didn't ask.

"I have an extra in the office," he suggested. "Come on. It's partially my fault anyways."

Roy could feel Edward's curious eyes on his back, and when they started walking he turned around to face her slightly. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just odd that you're not making fun of me."

True. Roy had thought back to the incident and found it an increasingly appealing moment to make fun of the blonde's height or something else that would irritate her; or perhaps he just wasn't in the best of moods. It could've been both. It probably was. But whatever it was, he just didn't feel like poking fun right now, even if the Elrics' reactions were more than funny.

Inside the office, it was quiet and a little bit serene; Edward found that without the other officers here, it was much lonelier than she expected. Curious, she asked, "Where is everybody?" She was sure that she had seen Havoc earlier anyways. Not everyone could've left that early...could they? Roy had went straight to one of the cabinets on the left side of the wall and didn't look at her when he answered.

"Lunch break." he affirmed, stretching his arm slightly to get to the top shelf and bringing out a black box with ease. It was a large cabinet too. Edward felt a sudden rush of jealously; _why can't I be a little taller? _Standing at 5'6'' wasn't the most highest of positions. Dammit, _everyone _towered over her. She hated weaknesses...even though she knew herself better than anyone that she was chock full of them.

Roy opened the box and brought out a white, button up shirt. He tossed it to her. "Here. It's a little large, most probably..." But when she opened the folded bunch, the hems went to her knees. Edward stared at the shirt, then flatly at Roy in a '_are you shitting me?_' manner.

"Hey, you could make it smaller." Roy said, shrugging and closing the box again. Edward sighed. "I could, but that would mean that I'd need to make the material thicker than it is because there'll be more cloth left over. And that would practically make it a jacket...I'll just wear it as is and roll up the sleeves. It's too much trouble, anyways." As Edward mumbled to herself, critically assessing the shirt, Roy had to shake his head. Some things weren't worth it.

"Whatever," he shrugged. "I count this as a debt paid."

Edward rolled her eyes but didn't take the bait; she scrunched up the shirt in a little ball and walked out the room to change. She barely saw Mustang slip out of the room but didn't care much. She slipped off Hawkeye's shirt - you know what, she really seemed to be changing a lot today - and put on the new one, promising herself that she would clean Riza's and give it back soon. As she thought, the button-up was rather large.

She could stop it from reaching the middle of her thighs, and the seam where the shoulder blade was supposed to be was halfway down the upper part of her arm. The sleeves reach way past her forearm and was about two and a half more of her own hands in length. The shirt was made for a man, so it was a little tight in the chest area but covered every other part of her body. She rolled up the sleeves to three-quarter length, a shining silver of her automail peeking out from the glove's hem.

"Huh, actually is comfortable." she said to herself. Baggy shirts always were...she should wear more of them next time. Edward looked at the wall clock hung up on the farther left pillar, and almost had a heart attack.

"What the fuck! Why is it already four o'clock?"

.

.

"Ah, you're late, Colonel Elric." said Fuhrer President Grumman with a small smile on his face. Edward's mouth twitched, but she didn't make anymore of a move than that. Not only was she late, she had the entire board look at her too; the Brass, the Generals, Mustang and Lady-General Armstrong. Despite having the urge to just blush out her embarrassment, she cleared her throat and kept a stoic face. It seemed she didn't succeed very well and there was a light dusting of pink across her cheeks. "Sorry...sir."

The Fuhrer waved his hand in acceptance, and then motioned to a seat across from him. "Sit, Colonel." Edward followed the clear order and looked everyone at the table in the eye. There was no use in being _scared _of these people when she could tell that they were more scared of her than she was of them.

Grumman took a moment to assess the group of officers he had brought together. General Caesar Orion(1) was a steadily built man with neatly combed honey-colored hair and eyes that were possibly as dark as Mustang's. He had a confident aura around him and was a certainly good candidate for being the next Fuhrer. But then there was General Armstrong, and as her name suggests - she was rather tough and he was sure that she was also willing to lead with the best of the people's interest in mind.

Then the rest of the people he'd called; a red-haired Brigadier General whose face never left it's awfully serious mask and whose eyes were the most deepest shade of green he'd seen in a while, a man whose light blonde hair and white skin matched his pool blue eyes and made him it impossible to seem like he could be in the military; It appeared that most people thought that a man like Colonel Peter Chrism was better off as a house-husband or the like - none really knew how dangerous he was or how dangerous his unit was.

Then there was the dark haired, composed Major General Roy Mustang, who took everything in calmly. And next to him was General Armstrong, who regarded things crisply. General Melbourne, and General Talbot. These people (along with his granddaughter) were probably the only people he trusted in the military one hundred percent.

"Today, we'll be discussing the National Conference. Due to the previous Fuhrer's misgivings, we are in a tentative state with the other nations around us. Amestris has a reputation for being a 'wild, military-crazy' country whose only focus is on themselves and war in the eyes of our neighboring countries. They are hesitant to take action due to the fact that we might back stab them." Grumman folded his hands on the table. "Do you all understand what I'm saying?"

"Don't back stab them?" Colonel Chrism suggested. Edward noticed that his voice was rather soft-spoken for a man of his ranking. When everyone looked his way, Chrism shrugged. "Hey, that was what your cover was saying to me, sir."

"Convince them that we're not blood-thirsty monsters?" said Mustang, amusement laced in his tone. "If they don't trust us, then just invite them in and show them we're unarmed. We won't fight back."

"_You're _implying that they'll start the fight," Armstrong snorted. "Rather brave of you to say so, Mustang." His name was said with distaste evident, and the dark haired man's eyebrow twitched. Grumman looked back and forth between them and chuckled.

"There shall be no fighting," he reprimanded slightly to his subordinates. "The whole point of the Conference is to gain allies, and if we are to be allies, there has to be trust. So yes - we will be showing the countries of Xing, Arbecia, Creta, Aerugo, and Drachma that we mean no harm." The president leaned back in his chair, evidently thinking that his point had gotten through clearly; _don't pick a fight. _It was a warning, Edward realized.

Deciding that she had been silent for too long, Edward spoke up. "May I ask the reason why we're here, sir?" She barely forgot to add the proper respect at the end of the sentence. Grumman nodded, as if he had forgotten and now suddenly remembered.

"Yes. Seeing as how some of you have not ever done this before, I will have to make sure that you are all top notch at the Conference. The two other liaisons that aren't here already know how to act when the situation demands of them to do so. Be prepared for the Conference as much as they are." Fuhrer Grumman stood up, brushing off imaginary lint from his uniform. The two MP behind him came forward and took their positions beside their superior. "Meeting dismissed."

No one made a move until he left. Finally, Edward scowled. "Bullshit." she muttered under her breath, and even though she meant it to be heard for her ears only, she spotted Chrism choking slightly before he chuckled. Mustang looked over toward them at the sound of noise, and noticed that Edward was blushing and covering her mouth while the Colonel chuckled. Perhaps there was something other to the picture (Edward did have a look that said "I want to bash myself over the head") but he just felt like something inside him froze and died.

"I've gotten a new found respect for Colonel Elric," Roy didn't even notice Armstrong beside him until her chilly voice flooding through his ear. "She...has been through a lot. That was a surprise when news came out." Armstrong's voice was a little less cold than normal. Roy had to take a quick glance at the Ice-General and he couldn't believe his eyes; Armstrong actually looked sort of...sympathetic. And something else. _Does she have a soft spot for...? _Roy didn't know. The Major General realized that he didn't know a lot of things.

"It's amazing how she had us all fooled," Roy agreed, noting how Armstrong had used the word 'she'. "For so long too."

Armstrong 'hmm'ed. Roy couldn't stop thinking about how this was probably the only civil conversation they would _ever _have. "You don't really understand what she's been through, do you, Major General?" The blonde's icy eyes faced him and he could see that she had gained some sort of..._affection _for Edward. "You don't understand it at all."

"Understand...excuse me?" It wasn't a concealed secret that he was confused. Armstrong was being vague, and he wasn't following. Things were just too complicated when it came to Edward.

The General stiffened and turned again, facing forward. "Never mind." Roy could see a second later why the General had stopped talking; Edward was walking toward them with a file in her hand. She held out her hand to Armstrong, who took the file.

"It's from your subordinate," she said. "He just came in here running and told me to give it to you. Sergeant...Rye, I think." Armstrong's eyes flashed, an action that didn't go unnoticed by either member of the Brass. "Maybe you should go." said Edward helpfully, and not-so-subtly. Armstrong pursed her lips, shot a glare to Roy, and walked out of the discussion room with heavy footsteps of her winter boots.

"That woman _hates _you." Edward affirmed. Even though she wasn't looking, Roy saw the way Colonel Chrism's eyes followed the blonde the whole time that she was walking toward them, and even now when he watched her push a lock of hair behind her ear. Roy knew that Chrism probably liked Edward is a more-than-platonic way, and he was surprised that - well, he was just surprised.

Roy wondered _why _he was surprised. Edward was a member of the Brass (now) and highly capable. Smart, witty, and she wasn't that bad of a looker either. It pained him to say so, but...(_yes, she was a good catch._) The truth was the truth after all. He just didn't expect people to actually...notice her. For some odd reason. She was already seventeen, going eighteen...

He felt a slap on the back of his head. "Oi, bastard!" she snarled. "You listenin' to me?" Of course, let's not forget the fact that she had a horrible temper, a short-complex, a _brother_-complex, and was probably the rudest person beside himself that he knew.

"No," Roy immediately retorted. "I can't stand to listen to that voice for long."

The blonde scowled. "Then you'd better be off listenin' to Hawkeye's voice! She just called you. Have you gone deaf or something?" Roy immediately came to attention - if Hawkeye was around, then most likely so was her gun and so was her horrible, horrible pile of paperwork. Edward rolled her eyes when she saw the man searching frantically suddenly. "She's outside. Not allowed in the room. Get out there before I punch you for making me play messenger." she grumbled.

Roy didn't get to see Edward leave with Sergeant Lenny. He just had to focus on dodging bullets.

.

.

"Ah, Colonel Elric," Edward was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She stopped and looked back, to see the pale face of Colonel Peter Chrism. He smiled charmingly, his blue eyes following the motion. As soon as he saw what he was doing, he took his hand off her shoulder. "I was wondering if you'd like to have some coffee with me. After all, a meal shared with another person is much more enjoyable!" he said cheerfully.

_Blue eyes. Such bright blue, like the color of the sun-streaked sky. _Edward swallowed hard; her eyes literally unfocused as she was swarmed by memories; blue eyes, startlingly blue eyes, she had always been weak against blue eyes. _Him. And Risembool. And the beautiful sky._

"No," she choked out, and the Colonel looked at her questionably. Her tone was too forced, too pain-filled. "No, I'm fine. I don't really like coffee unless it's for a little boost up in the morning." Edward smiled once more - _blue blue blue black and red _- and tore herself away from him, her own traitorous uniform - _why was it all blue?_ - flapping behind her.

She had lost Sergeant Lenny in the commotion, but Edward was sure that the awkward man would be back in the office soon enough. Poor bloke was probably trying to get his hands on some more copies of the paperwork she had lost (as in, conveniently placed in Mustang's pile) and having to deal with Hawkeye, especially after what she did that evening, was time-consuming.

Chrism reminded her of him. Their similarities were shocking. Edward did her best to suppress it, she really did. But some things didn't go away that easily - when all had let go, when her scars of monstrous faces and blank white was healed to the best of her ability and crying little girls didn't haunt her dreams as much, it was always him who came back like a persistent little bug. _That's because he is, _she grumbled to herself. _A stupid, persistent, bastardy little bug. _One she wished she could squash under her foot - but somehow, he always kept escaping. She hated bugs.

In her own fiery thoughts, she didn't notice when she had bumped into someone else. Jerking back and blinking, she stammered out a bewildered "S-sorry," before realizing who it was. Immediately, that bewilderment became irritation. Edward scowled. "Mustang. What the hell are you doing-"

"Shh!" he quieted her roughly, looking panicked.

"Honestly, you're supposed to be a Major General," she lectured. _Maybe Hawkeye is rubbing off on me too much. Oh well. When have I ever given up the chance to yell at Mustang?_ "What do you think you're doing goin' around playing hide-n'-seek?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Stop it with the lesson in Rep. 101," he said dryly. "Hawkeye is pissed at me and it's all your fault, okay? _Why _did you have to-"

"It was an accident!" Edward protested loudly, stomping her foot in a childish manner for extra emphasis. "I didn't know that-" the blonde alchemist was interrupted by a gunshot and silent words spoken. She heard the voice of her own Sergeant. "What the hell? Riza'll question Lenny to death!" said Edward, horrified. Not only would she need a new second in command, but she would have to get her coffee herself. The horror.

"Well then you shouldn't have pissed her off," Roy growled. "_Honestly, _you're supposed to be a Colonel," he mimicked her earlier words.

Edward glared. "Oi, at least I didn't burn Central Command down." Roy opened his mouth to put in his own insult, but then there was another gunshot - blank, of course - and he cowered. "Okay, how about this - we run on three."

"_We_?" Edward raised her eyebrow. At Roy's pointed glare, she looked down and saw that she was crouching along with him behind the secretary's desk...which meant that Mustang had found out that she was also hiding from Riza's wrath. "Yeah, okay, whatever. To your office." she grumbled, agreeing.

Roy nodded. "One...two...three!"

It was almost like a speed race, but not really. Both she and Roy had jumped out from behind the secretary's desk, the dark-skinned woman catching sight of them and yelling "Hey! Stop!" at their retreating backs. Edward had fled from one side; Roy from the other. No doubt Riza had at least caught sight of one of them, with her sharp eyesight; they ran together, at full speed, looking back every second to check for stray bullets.

No doubt that it was only a temporary distraction from thinking about blue eyes and clear skies, but Edward allowed herself to feel this little tidbit of happiness, of freedom. She imagined that instead of polished hallways it was green grass and sweet smelling flowers, Risembool fields and lovely sounds of birds chirping. She could imagine that she was running through meadows like she did when she was younger with Alphonse and Winry.

And with Mustang, nonetheless. As long as it was anyone. Both reached the office door out-of-breath, even though Edward wasn't sweating much. She looked at Roy, and Roy looked at Edward. Both broke out in silly smiles. But as Edward laughed, holding her stomach and wiping her forehead, Roy leaned back against the door and watched, a painful feeling in his chest that wasn't caused by the running. When Edward looked up, she saw him staring at her.

"What?" Edward asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Nah," Roy shook his head. "Just that I've never seen you act so childish before." And he smiled.

Edward furrowed her brows. "I've acted childish before," she said defiantly, as if that was something to be insulted by. "Don't go making conclusions when you don't know me very well, Mustang." her words weren't said with malice, but it still hit hard.

Roy was thinking about how he _didn't _know Edward very well, didn't know what she liked and what she was like, what she wished for and what she laughed to and what she sang to and what she smiled at. Edward was thinking about how she didn't notice that her superior officer's eyes were the darkest shade of blue she had ever seen.

.

.

* * *

**li·ai·son**–noun.

1. contact or connection maintained by communications between units of the armed forces or of any other organization in order to ensure concerted action, cooperation, etc.

2. a person who initiates and maintains such a contact or connection.

3. illicit sexual relationship.

(1) - **Lieutenant General Caesar Orion** is a character of mine that appears in _Toy Soldier. _This goes for the same with **Colonel Peter Chrism, Sergeant Amecus Rye, Brigadier General Sedan Jemmings** and **Major Leo Di Rossi**_. _These people _will _appear more in the story, as does Sergeant Herald Lenny and some other OC's.

A/N- Up there about the liaison is just a little fun-fact given to me by my new beta, **InkPhantom**! She's awesome guys. Picked out confusing words and mistakes that I have _never _seen before. I honestly believe that my writing will improve by following her advice! And she's so nice too - dealt with my constant laziness and slow processes of writing this chapter. Visit her profile. =)

Also big thanks to _Caellach Tiger Eye _for pointing out some things to me. I haven't really based this off on proper information, so thanks to him (I'm guessing you're a him) some things have been cleared up; Creta is based off of France and Aerugo is based off Italy. Apparently, that's what it says on the FMA Wiki...(Which I did not think to check. XD)

-Summer


	8. Chapter VIII: What You Didn't Say

A/N- So I was thinking - this would be more of a...I dunno, lets say a 'day to day' story rather than a 'plot-wise' story. Like, it focuses on more stuff that happens in their lives every day, rather than just a whole plot line. There'll be a plot too, but...I have a feeling this will be _very _long...with plenty of sequels and spin-offs. Lol.

_Playlist:  
Awake - Josh Groban  
Downtown Fiction - Where Dreams Go to Die  
Ya Ali - Movie Soundtrack_

* * *

**::.. deux ex machina ..::**  
.c h a p t e r eight.

_"Tune jo na kaha mein woh sunta raha__  
Khamakha bewaja khwaab buntha raha  
Abb na pehale si baatein hai  
Hum safar mein toh hai, humsafar hai nahin  
__Khamakha bewaja khwaab buntha raha_.  
Bhuj gayi aag thi, dhaag jalta raha.  


_"What you didn't say, I kept listening to it.  
Just for nothing, without any reason, I kept on weaving dreams.  
Now all the conversations are not like the previous ones  
I am on a journey, but there is no partner with me  
Just for nothing, without any reason, I kept on weaving dreams.  
The fire has turned to ashes, but the mark still remains."  
- _"Tune Jo Na Ka" from the flim New York [2009]_  
_

* * *

Edward chuckled. "She wasn't...Lenny, it wasn't...dear god..." The blonde burst out in peals of laughter, holding her stomach and leaning back against her leather chair, breaking all protocol. Sergeant Lenny ran a hand through his dark bronze hair, curls falling in front of his face once again. He had become used to the bombshell - literally, in more ways than one - that was Edward. She was simply...simply..._unrestrained, _for lack of any other word that didn't insult. Her own morals, her own rules, her own limits. She brought a different, refreshing, dangerous change to the life of a military officer - good or bad, it was still hard to tell.

It was also hard to get her to stop laughing once she started. _Especially _once she's started laughing at him. Hr didn't understand what was so hilarious...the wrath of General Armstrong's was nothing funny. Sergeant Lenny had opened his mouth to say so, but Edward choked back her giggles and waved her hand in negative. "I already know how it feels Lenny, so don't tell me that I don't," she said breathlessly, reading what was on the Sergeant's mind before he said it. "And yes, it _is _pretty damn funny. Almost knocked your head off."

"Well I'm glad that it's amusing, sir," he said dryly, getting slightly more comfortable with his CO. "But I didn't really see the...fun in it. These are the paperwork for you today." Lenny placed a few folders on Edward's desk, thick enough to take an hour or two but thin enough to be carried in one hand. Edward settled down with a slight smile that disappeared and traded for confusion when she poked at the folders.

"This isn't much," she observed smartly, looking up at Lenny. "What's up?"

"As a liaison, you get less work done." Lenny said shortly. "I don't know why."

Edward snorted. "Some Sergeant you are." As Lenny was about to protest - it wasn't his fault he was chosen it was Hawkeye's and a damn bit of good or bad luck - there was a voice that interrupted both of them.

"Work is given to the the lower sections of the military forms. Liaisons have to have their schedules clear due to being available to the Fuhrer when he needs them. Seeing as how you are the head of the State Alchemist department, you have slightly more to do. Along with that, the National Exams are coming up, which you have to create along with the rest of the State Alchemist department and approve of." Both Sergeant and Colonel looked toward the doorway, where Sergeant Rye stood in march rest.

Edward recognized him immediately. "Oi, why aren't you with the General?" She was referring to General Armstrong. Edward remembered Sergeant Amecus Rye vividly - he was the perfect addition to the Ice-Queen's image. Her third in command after Major Miles and Buccaneer, Rye was a man with snow white hair that fell over his silvery-blue eyes and unhealthy pale skin. He always wore an emotionless expression and knew almost everything, it seemed.

"I got transferred, sir," said Rye. "To your command. By the Fuhrer."

It took a second, but Edward absorbed the new information. "W-what? Seriously? The _Ice-Queen_ allowed you to do that?" If it just wasn't showing in her face, it was surely showing in her face.

"Yes sir," Rye stepped forward slightly and put a hand against his chest, in a salute. "She favours you." Rye - even though he wasn't showing it - seemed to be enjoying Edward's red, then pale, then red again complexion, constantly changing. She was so easily read, but somehow he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her Sergeant stood off to the side, awkward and waiting for her to say something.

"That...is really funny," she said slowly, deliberately, even though she wasn't laughing. "Because...that woman does not favour me. She does not _like me._" All of this explained to Rye in a slow tone, as if she was explaining this all to a child. "She will most probably _kill _me if she finds out that you're here. So go take your file and reassign yourself under her command, okay?" Edward spoke kindly, but her intention was anything but - if Armstrong knew her third in command was gone, and under _Colonel Elric's _supervision none-the-less, Edward was going to be dead before Amestris was comfortable with the fact that she was a woman.

Rye scowled, the only semblance of emotion he had shown ever since Edward had known him. "I'm under your command, sir. Nothing will change that. Here is the papers for the State Alchemist program."

"What?" Edward took the files and flipped through them. She was met with empty pages. "What's this?"

"The draft for the State Exam. You have to create it. Didn't I mention..." Lenny nodded, and Rye pursed his lips closed while Ed's eyes scanned incredulously over the lines - there was about a whole notebook's worth there, stuff that she needed to completely fill by the guidelines, as it had said over in the first page. _Goddammit, goddammit...dammit!_ When she had accepted the job as Head, she thought that she would've been able to give all the work to the littler people (in terms of rank) and just oversee it in her spare time. But no - it seemed like this was something else that she had buried herself in.

Edward frowned - she had gotten herself into this, she would get herself out. Or go down trying..."Okay...when's this due?"

"Friday."

There was a crash.

"_What the - _"

"Sir -!"

"Lenny, why wasn't I informed of this?" The boss's infuriated tone made Lenny wince. "I-I wasn't aware, sir...ma'am..." he stuttered, trying to explain while Rye just stood there, expressionless still. Somehow, Lenny felt as though Rye was smirking inside; he had already gained the favour of the Colonel while Lenny was still scrambling for answers. "S-sorry...sir." Lenny fiddled with a button on the hem of the jacket, and Edward took a deep breath and let it out again.

"It's alright." she said, controlling her voice. "Just...two days. Okay. Let's pull an all-nighter again!" she mumbled to herself, almost inaudible. The blonde's head snapped up toward Lenny, serious. "What about that thing that I told you to do? How's it coming?"

Lenny answered confidently, happy that he was chosen to do such a thing (he was the only one in her command at the time, yes, but still) and that Rye was still out of the loop. "Very good, sir. In fact, there has been already two families that have asked for the adoption. I've checked their backgrounds; both as financially stable and have a reputation of being nice homes. It's located in Central as well."

"Details."

"One is a professor at Central University, in the Linguistics category. Well off. His wife can't have any more children - they already have a one-year old girl. The other is the editor-in-chief of _Amestris Daily, _single and female, living in Central as well. Both have qualified -"

Edward waved her hand and Lenny shut up. "That's all I need to know. Jeez, you really went all-out on this, didn't you?" Lenny was about to respond, but Edward stood up and brushed off her military-issued pants, which were covered by the half-skirt and the jacket that she had sloppily tied around her waist. "No matter. Melissa'll choose. I have work to do."

Lenny hesitated, then spoke up again. "If I may say something, sir - it seems as though she likes to stay with you rather than be sent off to a foster home..."

"...I'm not..." Edward was at a loss for words, but then sighed and ran a hand through her loose hair. "Listen. I'm turning eighteen in two months, okay? I'm not even ready to take care of myself most of the time, no less than a little girl. She'd be better off there. I'm not home most of the time and I don't keep the apartment clean. I curse a lot and it could catch on - this is for the best, alright? Besides, it's not like I'm actually her mom. This is just a little problem that's been passing by. Now, the both of you leave and do something - I have to...fix all this shit, apparently."

Rye nodded and left as soon as she said so; Lenny was reluctant, but left her alone. As soon as the large mahogany doors of her office closed, Edward realized how lonely it really was in here. Her fingers outlined the words printed in large font on the papers, the State Alchemist Dept. and the test that she needed to create, that she needed to _help _create. With trepidation, Edward thought of how she would have to work with others - and that was one thing that she couldn't do.

Sitting down, she looked over the first draft. All she needed to do was edit it, put some things in, fix it...Shouldn't take long. Friday. In a week. No, she'd be fine. She'd be just fine...

And then she had a brilliant idea.

Five minutes later, Edward was banging on Mustang's door like there was no tomorrow. No one was opening up and she was doing it with her flesh hand, her un-tiring automail holding the stacks of papers, the rest of the office watching her with amusement and their eyes flashing to her thin back once in a while. She knew they were - she could feel their stares. She didn't say anything, however.

"I know you're in there!" she yelled, exasperated. "Open the goddamn door, Mustang!" It's not as if the man had anything else to do. This was her first time making the State Alchemist test, and _surely _in _his _years of experience, he'd be able to take some - perhaps the whole bulk, she did have blackmail that she never got to use - and he could finally brag about something that was worth bragging. The door opened while she was still in mid thought and accidentally, she knocked again and this time it met with his nose, leading him to be scowling and holding his face and her to be holding in laughter. Actually, the whole office was trying to hold in laughter.

"Oh - oh! Warn me next time, bastard..!" she said, then winced. She choked out a painful, "S-sorry?" More as a questions than an apology. He rubbed his nose again and pushed her inside, not even caring about his nose.

"Okay, _what the hell do you want?_ I've been doing paperwork for - " Edward look around him and saw his pile, which was still undone. She snorted.

"Paperwork, huh?" His eyes widened, but he shut up. "Here. Make the State Alchemist exam. Great, I'm going to go sleep now!" And she handed him the files and opened the door again, slamming it closed before he could say anything. _Well that went great, _she thought wryly in her head. Seeing everyone's eyes on her, she flushed and said hurriedly, "If he comes out, tell him that I went to the...uh...train station!" Edward stopped leaning back against the door and made a mad dash for the other exit, making it out in time just as Roy's door opened.

"Where. Is. She?" he growled, and everyone pointed to the door that was left open.

_Okay, so that was pretty childish of me, _Edward admitted to herself while climbing through a window to get to a tree. _And this is childish too. Ah, well. I'm still seventeen. Screw that earlier montage or whatever about responsibility. _Whenever was she _responsible?_ Jumping down from the tree she gathered a lot of stares, but then she giggled under he breath and said, "Nothing to see here, folks! Sorry about that!"

Whistling slightly, Edward flicked a bit of her hair out of her face and sat down on the marble stone of the fountain placed in the middle of the courtyard. All around her militants were walking and talking and doing their jobs, and she felt - strangely - in place with them, perhaps even a little relaxed. Never would she admit it, but having a constant job and all these people to trust - the whole country, all of this, knowing that it was in her hands, it felt oddly...exhilarating.

"Enjoying break time?" a dry voice said from above her. She barely got to say anything before a stack of papers was dropped down in her lap. Edward just looked at the glare of 'STATE ALCHEMIST - FIRST EXAM (DRAFT)' to just wince. Someone sat next to her but she didn't face him, instead choosing to stare at the paper. He sighed.

"Listen, if you needed help, you could have asked," Roy said, feeling a little annoyed. "No need to dump it all on me. Besides, they would know that you didn't write it."

She snorted. "So? Don't they need their stupid test done? Who cares if you or I write it? In the end, it'll still go to some poor sap and they'll pass and enter, and realize what an idiotic mistake they made by sealing their fate in this place." Bitterness. There was definite bitterness in her voice, and Roy almost face-palmed as he realized what this was about.

"You're not mad about writing the test," he breathed, and she stiffened. "Personal feelings getting in the way again, Edward."

"Shut up." she snapped.

Roy frowned. "There's nothing wrong with that. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have emotions." He turned to look at his junior of nine years, the blonde who was quickly gathering stares from more of the...'interested' part of the military. Roy grit his teeth and ignored the stares directed his way - and hell, he didn't even want to _think _about the ones near Edward's...

"I know that," she choked out finally, sounding more vulnerable that he had ever heard her, "But it's not like...I mean, look at me! Youngest State Alchemist ever...what if someone tries to follow that? I mean, Mustang, come on - little kids, teens, even adults - they all _look up _to me, and I don't even know why. A-and, someone following in my footsteps, putting themselves in danger, risking their lives just because _I _did it - " she sucked in a breath sharply.

"...guilt, huh?" he murmured, feeling a pang when he eyed the Colonel insignia on her uniform shoulders, remembering how _he _was the one to bring in the kid to the military in the first place. His throat felt dry suddenly, like sandpaper stuffed down his windpipe. "It's their choice if they..." Roy didn't continue. After all, he was talking about something completely different from her - and even so, what they were conversing about was sort of the same thing. He couldn't say something like '_If they chose to enter the military, it's their fault, you have nothing to do with it'_ when obviously she would beat herself up about this.

Edward saw his pause and turned toward Mustang, just to notice his close proximity and the way he stared at her shoulders, a little regretful. No doubt he was staring at the Colonel's symbol. She knew exactly what this was about. "Mustang, stop beating yourself over that," she rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you? You did nothing wrong. I just decided to enter the military. You were there to help me through that."

"And that's how it is with the State Alchemist test." he croaked out, clearing his throat twice before he got a whole sentence out. "Stop beating yourself up over it...and write the damn thing. If it's like when I did it, then it should be due soon..." Roy mused. Suddenly, his eye caught a bout of red; Ed was blushing, and _really hard. _Like, he'd never _seen _her blush so much. Was it possible for a person's cheeks to do that?

_Adorable._

He almost slapped himself.

"L-listen," she started, stuttering on her words. "I-I-I don't ask for h-help a lot, and _especially _not from a bastard like you, but...could you...ah...give me like, a pointer or two?" Even though most of the sentence was said with a sort of stuck-up, resigned tone, she wouldn't look at him and seemed far too irritated with herself. Roy couldn't help it. He stared at her for one second...two seconds...then broke out in laughter.

Immediately, she blushed again. "Shut. _Up! _You bastard!" Ed shrieked, sending people to look their way while he doubled over in childish laughter and she hit him on the back with the papers, whining at him to 'shut the hell up because people were watching and _Mustang I will kill you'. _

"You..." Edward resigned to waiting for him to stop laughing, but he seemed to still be chuckling. What was so funny, she didn't understand, but it might've been the fact that she was acting so _weird _around him and it sort of...flew out. But she really did need pointers, and hell - there wasn't any other alchemist registered by the state that she trusted like Mustang. Well, she _trusted _him, didn't mean that she respected him or whatnot...

Roy smirked. "Come with me. I'll explain some things on the way to your office." Edward blinked at the foreign term. Then she remembered - she had an office now! As they stood up she could feel eyes watch her, but when she looked around there was no one there. Turning back while they started to walk in step, she peered at him curiously.

"Why my office?" she asked suspiciously.

"I have to give something to Sergeant Rye," said Roy. "Important stuff. It'll get to you soon."

"Just give it to me now, then." No point of giving it to her Sergeants when she was right here, right? Roy shuffled awkwardly. Edward raised an eyebrow, questioning. He sighed.

"Ah, it's a bit more complicated than that," he admitted. "Besides, I don't have the folder with me right now. Anyways, the first thing you need to know while creating the test is..."

About thirty minutes later of walking around in circles (she was doing this on purpose because for two reasons - one, she didn't want to return to the office with all the paperwork and two, some of the stuff he said was really helpful, even though his examples had a bit of a flaw in them.) Edward reached Mustang's office rather than her own. She blinked and stopped listening to him, holding up a hand to indicate that he should stop.

"You should get that file now," she said, pointing to the door. He raised an eyebrow. Ed grinned.

"Think you're very sly, don't you, Fullmetal?" he stated more than asked, a wry tone in his voice. He shook his head. Edward would always be Edward, and even though she was paying rapt attention to him when he was speaking (rather surprising, but he supposed that _everyone _had to grow up sometime) he should have known that she had an extra motive behind that motive. He sighed. "Wait here, I'll get it."

He opened the door to his office and nodded once in a greeting to everyone. "Sir?" Hawkeye asked in a means of greeting. Roy spared her a glance and said in answer to her unsaid question, "I'll be with Fullmetal for a bit. My pager is with me if you need anything." He said it loudly so that the whole office could hear – but what was more surprising was that the Major General was actually talking about spending _time _with _Edward _without looking vaguely offended, irritated or even unwilling.

He took a folder quickly off his desk and leafed through it before shutting it closed. He went outside a second later, where a slightly frazzled Edward could be seen, waiting for him. She had her eyebrows creased and opened her mouth to say, "Jeez, you took your sweet time, didn't ya'? Anyways, I have a question about this here – say I make it like this instead. It makes more sense..." Roy was last seen nodding along with her.

"Looks like they've gotten closer," Havoc observed, chewing on his non-smoking tobacco. "Like friendlier closer. This could be very good for us." He nodded to Breda, who grinned. "I'm just happy that they're getting along. Though I've gotta admit, it almost seems like the apocalypse is coming." Three gunshots were heard, and all men straightened up when Hawkeye's blank gun (specially left for disciplinary purposes) smoked in front of them.

"Back to work, men." she commanded, no room left for complaining.

Roy almost spent the whole afternoon with Edward, simply doing the State Alchemist test with her. She had stolen a red and black pen swiftly from a random desk in the main lobby for the work – Roy had stared at her with trepidation, but she shrugged and said, "When you live like me, you learn the tools of the trade pretty easily." She was referring to the stealing, no doubt. He had sighed and moved on – it was a rather Edward thing that she did, so why even try reprimanding her when she wouldn't listen? Most military personnel could see Roy and Edward on one of the tables inside the coffee shop that was right near the entrance of Central Command. They were sitting on a table that was situated right near the window-glass front of the store, and their identities, his gloves, and the state pocketwatches gave hints to everyone as well.

Roy, for one, pretended he didn't notice. It seemed like Edward really _didn't _either. "So here..." she trailed off on something, using the red pen to underline something. They have managed to fill out half the book by now, but the extra notes and marginal scribblings must have counted for the other half. "...I should be done with this for today," she said to herself, satisfactory. She stared up at the dark-haired man, seeming a little hesitant, but then sighing and saying, "Thanks..I guess."

"Your welcome," he replied easily, even though it was shown in his posture that he was a little uncomfortable as well. Roy took a sip of the coffee he ordered, and because of the quiet and awkward atmosphere between them, he said, "So how's it feel like in the State Alchemist Department?" Internally, he winced, because that was seriously stupid of him. (But hey, they've never made a single _try _to know each other better for all those years than what they originally knew – this was a whole, new, big and terrifying step. After all, he knew Edward's good points, but seriously – _everyone _he met had a different opinion of her. She could change his too, in the blink of an eye, and he wasn't sure he wanted that to happen. After all, he felt safe in his judge of character he already set for her.)

She gave him an odd glance, but said, "I don't know. I haven't exactly made major changes. Actually, I thought they'd give _you _the position. Have no idea why they gave it to me; I mean, come on! Am I really the best person for authority?" He chose not to touch that, not even with a ten-foot pole.

"They did offer me the job," he admitted, gloved hands linking and put under his chin. "But I refused. Instead, I told them to ask you. It seems like Grumman just gave you the job without permission. A good idea, seeing as how you'd _never _take that job."

Edward looked visibly speechless, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Her eyebrow twitched. "You mean..._you're _the one who gave me this godforsaken job?" Her voice was lowered an octave, and Roy was almost sure that she was going to blow up at him or something. Instead, she just sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Why?"

"Because, even if you don't admit it, you're perfect for the job." he said quickly.

"What?" Edward looked _more _confused now, if possible.

Roy sighed. "You've got plenty of experience in the field of battle alchemy...and, despite the fact that I don't want to admit it, you _are _pretty good in alchemy's theories and things like that yourself. The knowledge, the experience, and the decisions is what makes up a leader, and I believe that you can choose what's right and what's the best you can do for that department. Understand?" He took another sip of his coffee like it was nothing, but Edward could see the slightly disgruntled look in his eyes – Mustang didn't take kindly to being embarrassed, she supposed.

It really was a surprise, though – she had never once thought that Mustang saw her more than a subordinate that he respected. Sure, there were a few understandings between them and she could probably read between the lines very well, but never had she expected him to actually judge and _approve _of how she did things. It was...nice, in fact. Like when a mom gives a cookie to her son for doing something good or a father claps his son on the back for hitting the ball. Edward felt some sort of...satisfaction. Which was weird, because in all her life she had _never _went looking for Mustang's approval, and she wasn't supposed to feel good about it either.

Maybe that was because stuff like this never happened before. Maybe because before, back then, she was so caught up in Philosopher's Stones and hidden plots and her gender secret that she didn't realize everyone else's true inner feelings. Hell, she only got hold of Havoc's little crush about two years ago! Apparently, it was going on for longer than she had enrolled, but she hadn't ever noticed. So was it that much of a surprise that Mustang thought of her differently from what she had expected?

It probably was. After all, she was so deluded in her lies for so long. "Um..thanks, I guess," she shrugged, trying to play it cool. "That means a lot." she added a second later when she decided that her earlier answer was too vague. She expected him to at least nod, or acknowledge the fact that she had said that. He blinked at her, yes, but never had she expected a _smile. _

Edward could feel hotness behind her cheeks – just embarrassment, she was positively sure, because Mustang never smiled at her that way. She could understand why all those girls fell for him now – and the meaning of what a 'breathtaking' smile was – but she honestly didn't know what to do afterward, so she just gave him a small grin back.

No, it really wasn't one of her evil grins. (Don't give her _that _much credit.)

.

.

Edward went back to her office with a satisfactory grin on her lips - now she just had to re-write it and it was all good for Friday. She would play a little joke on Rye, tell him that she hadn't gotten started and then in five minutes, give him the file and watch him splutter indignantly. Well, if he would. She knew that Lenny did it last time. It brought her great joy to mess with her subordinates, but today she didn't feel like doing anything. Edward set the file down on her desk, sat in her rolling leather chair and faced the window.

Even though it was the end of December almost, she saw that all the snow had melted and it becoming an almost spring-like atmosphere. She remembered the last winter day they had like this - over a few years ago, where Mother Nature decided to be nice and give them a day where it was slightly breezy, slightly chilly, but enough to just be casual and lay back. The sun beat down on the sidewalks as people walked to and fro, unaware of her watching eyes.

Or perhaps she wasn't watching at all; her eyes were clouded over and blank, staring off into space. She was thinking, and she was thinking so hard that she wasn't even aware of the area around her. In fact, her mind was focused on the what she thought was the last thing that she should've been focusing on - Roy Mustang. And his smile. Specifically, the one he had given her right about an hour ago.

It wasn't as if she didn't know about his womanizing techniques. Throughout her travels, it was replayed throughout all of Amestris, along with being the 'Hero of Ishbal' and all that. When she was a girl in disguise, it really didn't seem all that much of a big deal - the bastard wasn't even all that handsome, she had thought. She knew prettier people. She knew more charming, charismatic people than him. But as she came back to Central more often, she would notice how he got his women; with a smile. A conniving, cunning, cheating, some more 'c' words that she couldn't think of right now, smile. Enough to seduce. Enough to make one fall in a second. She was disgusted whenever she saw it - it rekindled her hate of the man.

But the smile he gave her, it was no where near those type of smiles. (Hell, she must've been going insane - thinking about _types _of smiles, especially _Roy Mustang's _smiles, she was going crazy.) Edward was an alchemist, someone who studied even the most minute detail, who saw everything with a calculating view. She noticed not because she was interested, but because it was in her blood and engraved in her very being.

Observing people told a lot. It was like a painting, or a story; every movement said something about a person. When she first met Mustang, he was a cocky and arrogant bastard, gloating in his looks and smirking away his egoism. She didn't like him, thought he was foolish and stupid and bossy. But even though he was some of those characteristics, she should've realized that there was _more. _He was scared of his past mistakes, said Hawkeye. He was loyal to the point of being stupid, said Havoc. He was strategic and logical, said Breda. He was caring and protective, said Fuery. He was trustworthy, said Falman. _He was Roy Mustang, _thought Edward.

That smile today proved that; weak, unsteady, almost like he had trouble doing it. But there was something genuine in there, something hidden and lost and unused for a long time. It was only now that she realized that it was a mask, or rather what was behind the mask. Mustang had been keeping himself inside a facade for so long, and that was his true face, his true smile, and she temporarily stunned again as she realized that he had shown it - perhaps a bit unwillingly - to _her. _A tingling feeling erupted in the pit of her stomach. Edward shifted in her seat.

Her old views of him were changing, she knew. It was changing the more time she spent with him, the more time that she saw every side of him, she knew that in her head those files labeled 'Roy Mustang' were shifting and rewriting themselves and she wasn't able to change it, because that was the alchemist part of her and the alchemist part always strove for the truth, no matter how much the human part of her didn't want it. She knew her own version of Mustang for so long, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the new one.

"Sir...?" Edward visibly jumped in her seat, swiveling to see Lenny looking at her with trepidation. There was a careful look in his eye, worry on his face. "Are you okay? I've been calling for about five minutes, but..."

"N-no, I'm fine," she said. Edward hated the fact that her voice came out wobbly and stuttering. The feeling was still in the pit of her stomach and it wouldn't go away. _Would it go away if I drank something?... _she thought naively, frowning. For some reason, she didn't think it would help. Lenny was still looking at her, expecting something.

"Um..." she stared, "You can tell me whatever you have to say?" she finished uncertainly, not really that used to being a superior officer yet. She didn't think she ever would be, actually. Years of being pushed around and given orders too did something to you. Plus, her mind was still in a huge jumble from her previous thoughts.

"No, I just got your coffee, sir, and a slip about the National Parade..."

"Oh," Edward perked up, eyes glowing. "I won't be going to that. Just check the little 'no' box and give it to them." She sighed and took the coffee from his outstretched hand. Lenny nodded without complaint, even though he was wondering if he should've made her go anyways...it was probably the publicity.

But as Lenny let his CO there biting her lip so hard it became redder than it already was, he wondered if she should go after all...

.

.

Mei was waiting for her when she got home, and Melissa hugged Edward's legs as soon as she walked through the door. Mei looked positively happy, joy shining through her black eyes and she was clutching her Xingese shirt so hard that it crumpled under her fingers. Which, Edward thought, must've been pretty hard. They were silk, after all.

"Edward-san! Something great has happened!" she exclaimed, her voice still as calm as ever and losing it's old squeal that the blonde remembered so well from the old days. She smiled at her roommate. "Yeah? What's up?"

"I've found a place for myself to stay," Mei said. "Over there, in the upstairs of a tea shop. And they'll let me work there too! The manager and such said that I was perfect for the atmosphere and I knew different brews that would have a lovely appeal to the Amestrians." Mei tickled Melissa as the little girl came back to her. "I feel so..happy."

"Well, that's good for you," Edward felt something inside her disappear a bit. "Ah...how far is it? Mel likes you a lot, so I was wondering if you're close enough to visit..." Edward took off her coat and put it on the rack, along with her red one as well. Her fingers ghosted over it's material and suddenly she felt very nostalgic.

Mei sounded shy behind her. "T-that was what I would like to talk to you about, Edward-san...I was wondering if I could adopt Melissa." The blonde whirled around, her eyes widening, before smiling. "That's great! Of course you can!" But even as she said those words, something inside her disappeared again. But that didn't mean she was happy - Mei's face, Melissa's face, they were lightened up in a sort of glow. Melissa squealed and hugged onto Mei, saying, "Yay! Living with big sister! Thank you, mommy!" Edward's throat felt dry.

"So when are you..."

"Next week," Mei said quickly, understanding. She smiled gratefully. "Thank you for all you've done." she whispered softly, eyes glowing with admiration. Edward shook her head, as if saying 'no problem'. Mei took Melissa to the kitchen, both of them talking fast. Edward thought over what had happened - Mei was only fifteen, yes. But Edward knew that being royalty did something to you - she was much more mature, Edward thought. She could handle Melissa. It might've seemed stupid for her to give that little girl over to a fifteen year old, but technically Mei was an adult in Amestris; her papers, which she had looked through when the girl was younger, proved that.

There shouldn't have been trouble. She retreated into her room and placed her head in her hands, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. That incessant feeling in her stomach didn't leave, except now it seemed to mutate, almost. Edward couldn't really stand the changes - her views on Roy Mustang changing, living by herself, Mei and Melissa leaving her, Lenny and Rye and all of them and the State Alchemist Department, how she was slowly starting to...change. Herself. She was changing herself.

Edward didn't know whether these changes were good or bad, but she knew that she really couldn't stop them anyways.

.

.

* * *

A/N - _Smaller chapter. Sorry. I've rekindled my love of Bollywood movies and their sappy, romantic, heart-warming stories. And their songs. Damn it all.  
_

-Summer.


	9. AUTHORS NOTE : SNEAK PEAK

_Hey guys. I know that I don't talk to you guys often, but yeah - this is important. _

_So nanowrimo is here, right? And I'm busy. Like, totally busy. My school is tiriing me out, and I've got a helluva lot of stories to complete. Don't worry, this is just a short hiatus. I think all of my Fullmetal Alchemist stories will be put on hiatus until I can get everything under control again, sorry. Don't worry, though. I know you guys are waiting patiently for this, and I won't let you down. Your patience will be rewarded. _

_I sound like a preacher. Oh well. _

_Anyways. I was just going to say that I have made an oath, a promise. And that was to finish every single one of my stories. And I will. Don't you worry your pretty little heads about that - everything _will _be updated. It's just a matter on when. Thanks. _

_So. I've set what I've written so far here. Hope you like it, and I hope you forgive me. I'll come back some day. ;)_

_-Summer R.  
_

* * *

The next morning Edward woke up to a cup of coffee beside her and a fresh square of clothes on the side. She saw a note on the clothes, picked it up, and a small smile flickered on her face. _Grocery store then school. I'll be with Melissa. Thank you, Ed-san. Really. You're not as bad as I first thought. _The blonde snorted; hell, she first thought Edward was a guy. (Well, she was. Personality wise. At least she liked to think so. Winry certainly did.)

"Stupid girl," she muttered to no one. "She should just stop calling me Ed-san. Annoying with their formalities, or whatever." Even still, a smile graced her face all throughout the morning. She drank her coffee and decided to bring a large sandwich along, planning to eat in Mustang's office.

No one gave her odd looks as she came out of the building, greeting Al and Winry before heading off to a nearby deli to pick up a grilled chicken sandwich, on special today. She managed to get a discount after the butcher winked at her and pushed the sandwich toward her, saying, "A pretty girl like you needs to eat to stay strong, right?" It was nothing more than shameless, meaningless flirting, but Edward still blushed nonetheless.

It was also one thing she didn't understand; never did she wear makeup like Riza sometimes did (just that black outliner) or Gracia to one of the parties, yet everyone still called her pretty. She didn't want to be _pretty. _She wanted to be strong and capable, and Edward was seriously starting to think that telling everyone of her gender was the wrong decision. She was starting to be treated as a _joke. _

Some respected her, like Sergeant Rye and Sergeant Lenny. General Armstrong had talked with her civilly as well—Havoc told her that she had a soft spot for the female Colonel for some reason—and she was sure that most female personnel treated her like she was their hero. But to everyone else; hell, if she didn't prove herself, she wasn't worthy. _Again. _

But there were some perks...like the free sandwich. Hey, food was food, and the less money spent meant the more research she could get done. (Yeah, she was _that _much of a cheapskate, but never tell Winry that.) It wasn't as if she could reject a free sandwich. That would be wrong. Al would agree with her.

Edward remembered that her uniform was back at her dorm. Currently, she was wearing a pair of black slacks and a sweatshirt, nothing huge. Ignoring numerous catcalls that dwindled the closer she got to HQ, Ed made it inside and showered, leaving her hot sandwich on the dinner table and changing into her uniform—odd, this was all starting to seem monotonous. She almost grinned at the thought; her, having a normal life. Well, as normal as it would get. The whole thought was odd, also including the thought of her doing something else other than alchemy and serving in the military. What would she do? Become a teacher? She had no patience. The only thing she _could _do was this, really.

Blonde hair dripped as she made her way to the bed, where the clothes were laid out haphazardly somewhat earlier. She pulled her hair back into a loose, damp braid, knowing that it would wave later on. She changed quickly and efficiently, glancing at the clock every so often. Then, grabbing her food and keys, she locked the door to her room and stuffed it in her pocket, opening the sandwich and taking a bit as she walked to Mustang's office.

When she entered, everyone else was already there and working, to her surprise. She shrugged and no one gave her a second glance. "Mornin'," she intoned to her coworkers. "How's it hanging?"

"Nice to see you so chipper in the morning, chief." Havoc remarked dryly. "Something good happen?"

Edward pretended to think about it. "Mel got a new home. I got a full night's sleep. That's good enough, right?"

Havoc chucked in response, shaking his head. "Did you head over to your office yet? The chief got an order saying that he was 'to be in meeting room three for the liaison agreement in three days, 400 sharp'." he told her, half-reciting from memory. "I figured you would too."

Edward frowned. "No, I haven't actually. But I've heard of something like that floating around Central Command."

"Better check it out, then."

Edward tapped her bottom lip. "Yeah, I think I should. What time is it?"

This time, Falman informed her of all the details of the liaison project stiffly, including predisposed dates and what the higher ups thought they might go to for the project. Edward was swimming in the excess information and sort of stumbled when she finally managed to get out of there with an arm full of folders; one for the liaison project, another for the State Alchemist dept., another for the draft notes and copies and how many should be made and such. She was told that the other sergeants and petty officers had finished with the writing, so she had to check it over and make sure the questions were as difficult as can be.

It was only when she was back in her own office did she realize that not _only _was Sergeant Lenny off somewhere doing work (and most possibly getting more paperwork), but she had left her coffee in Mustang's block as well.

"How do people fucking do this?" she groaned, sitting back in her chair and letting her muscles relax for a moment.

That moment was short lived, however, as another unwanted voice answered her bemusedly. "Once you get the hang of it, it'll all be easy, trust me." Edward snapped open her golden eyes to glare at the tall form of Roy Mustang at her doorway, smirking at her and leaning lazily against the frame.

"And _when _is that?" she grumbled, not even bothering to yell at him for invading her office. There was no one here, anyways.

"Sometime in the next month," he answered lightly, straightening and walking toward her desk. He held up a light manilla folder in one gloved hand, a color that Edward was really starting to hate. In fact, she hated all papers in general. Why can't they have some sort of _system _for this instead of piling it all on one person? As she glared at the folder, Roy said, "The desk told me that Sergeant Lenny was out today. He sent a note, apparently. And that I was told to give you this."

"Out?" Edward repeated, confused. "There was no note. And why send you?"

Roy shrugged. "What's the folder about?" he asked instead, ignoring her previous question. There was no way that he was going to tell her that he purposely asked for it so that he could come to her office; mostly because his own was boring and filled with papers that he certainly didn't want to complete right now, yeah, that was it...

Edward opened it in response and after a moment of her eyes scrolling the page, she rolled them. "Ah, stupid stuff about the State Alchemist department in the National Parade and shit," she sighed, setting it down. "I'll just hand this over to...Major Di Rossi? Yeah, that's his name...he's working with me on the whole thing."

"You're not going to the National Parade?" Roy asked, amused. "Didn't you get the memo?"

"Obviously not, if you're asking," she shot back, smart-mouthed. Then, standing up, she crossed her arms. "What is it_ now?_"

Instead of answering, she found herself in a stare down with her commanding officer. Once again. Edward found that she could not look away from those dark blue, almost black eyes; how was it that he managed to capture her so easily nowadays? Roy was also staring back, not saying a word, but simply giving her that all-encompassing look. As if he knew every side of her, as if he knew all her secrets and fears. Edward, despite herself, started to feel her heart thump loudly in her chest.

"All State Alchemists higher than the rank of Major are obligated to come to the Parade," he answered, voice low. "Including you and me. Before your promotion, you were allowed to skip out of it." Roy smirked, dark irises glinting the pleasure that he still took from torturing the poor girl. "No loopholes this time, Fullmetal."

Edward frowned, almost scowling at the new piece of information. And, even if she didn't want to admit it, the feeling as though someone had dropped a stone in her stomach when he called her Fullmetal. "...what _is _it about promotions that makes people so snarky?" she muttered, glaring at the General. "Yeah yeah. I'll go. Fucking...this better not be a waste of my time."

With a practiced ease, she got up from her chair, took a look at the folder and slapped it down on the table. Roy raised an eyebrow, but then Edward held up another paper in her hand, filled to the brim with red marks and scribbles. She smirked. "My turn to turn your day into hell."

For his credit, Roy only winced.

"Fullmetal, you can't put this question in! Even _I _can't do it!"

Edward only rolled her eyes. "Then maybe you should work on your alchemical theories, bastard General."

Roy glared at her, wondering how in the hell he could've actually wanted the _company _of this person earlier in the day. God, she was lucky that he had burned his paperwork and Hawkeye was off being an assistant with Havoc to the National Parade Edward gave him a crooked grin in return, and Roy could almost _envision _the raspberry blown his way.

"Freaking—...okay, Edward, you need to know this." he started slowly, palms laid flat on the table. Edward raised a surprised brow at the usage of her name, a bit happy and floaty inside while Roy ignored whatever he was feeling. "_Not everybody is an alchemical prodigy like you are. _They don't know all of this! _I _don't know all of this! Sure, make the questions difficult...but not that difficult. There needs to be a balance between them." He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Understand?"

Edward pursed her lips. "I get it," she said. "I just...don't know how." And with a defeated shrug, she slumped in her chair.

Roy sighed; he knew that it was tough for Edward to admit that she was wrong. After all, he himself hated to admit that he was not in the right either, and he was starting to figure out that he and Edward were much more _creepily _alike that he had first assumed.

"It takes some time," Roy admitted, "But you have to remember that sometimes other people just aren't as smart as you." Here, he allowed himself to smirk. "Well, maybe except for me, but you can't expect the new recruits to be geniuses."

Edward scoffed. "Please. The only alchemy you're _proficient _in is fire, bastard. And shouldn't they be geniuses? I mean, at least they would have the brains to make the right decisions if they _were _in the military, then. And they wouldn't make mistakes with their rebounds. I see a lot of positive things coming from the State Alchemist division being made of geniuses."

Roy frowned; it was actually a pretty good point, and he hated being duped. "While you may be right...we still need all the manpower we can get. And I _have _studied the basics of alchemy just like you, y'know."

"But you haven't _stayed,_" Edward smirked. "I go through all the branches while you stay in one."

"Fire is volatile," he snapped, no longer talking about the State Alchemist division (as they should have been doing). "Many different subjects and context is included in it, and it takes years to study and tame properly. It's not _like _the other branches of alchemy!"

"That's also said for the other branches," Edward shot back. "And don't be stupid, General. I've gone into fire alchemy too. It's not that hard once you get the gist of it." She made a gesturing motion to his gloved hands with her own slender ones. "For example; your gloves are made of a special fiber that allows the oxygen in the air to condense quickly. When that happens, you cause friction between your fingers by snapping. With the amount of oxygen in the air, you turn it into a spark with the amount of heat you can get from your snap, and then make it larger because with more oxygen, the large the fire will get." Edward smiled smugly at Roy's stunned face.

"You got that all from one look?" he said a moment's notice later, voice flat. She had, after all, explained the inner workings of the secrets to his alchemy in...what? A minute? It was amazing, the things that Edward knew. Suddenly, Roy was realizing that Edward _was_ in fact a quite intelligent woman. He had not been bored once yet speaking with her.

"I've had years," she replied. "But I figured it out around...oh, thirteen, I think?"

"Four years ago." he stated.

She gave him a little devious smirk. "Yup."

"..."

The only thing Roy was glad about then was that he had made Edward laugh with his shell-shocked expression. None of that giggling or 'masculine chuckling', but a real gut-worthy laugh. She was actually really...dare he say it, _fun _to talk to. Roy never really had much of a conversation with anyone about his favorite topic before. Hawkeye's father may have been his master, but she knew only the very basics. The other State Alchemists were way too frightened to even put a step forward and face him. Maybe that was why he liked to irritate Edward so much; that kid was always the one to go against him.

"You look constipated, bastard," she said in between her small laughs. "Get that look off your face." Her cheeks were red and there was a lingering smile on her face that could only come from making fun of him. Roy blinked. _She's really pretty when she laughs, _he noted absentmindedly.

Immediately, the thought caught up to him. _Nine years younger, nine years younger, nine years younger! What the hell are you thinking about, Mustang?_ He would've smacked himself if he wasn't sure that Edward would send him to a mental hospital right away.

"We're way off topic," he said waspishly, not wanting to continue their previous conversation. He had a hunch, a feeling of all that knowledge behind the blond's eyes, and he didn't want to know.

Edward waved her hand. "Fine, fine. We've been here for like..." she stole a glance at the large clock hanging on the wall, "...three hours. Oh, I never got the paper about the liaison term, by the way." She sounded frustrated. "If I'm going to be part of this shit, then shouldn't you think I should _know _about it?"

Roy frowned. "Huh, interesting. Well, it's tomorrow at four hundred." He'd have to talk to that Sergeant Lenny of hers.

The blond blinked. "Four hundred?" she repeated, baffled. "Havoc told me that it was in three days!"

"They moved it," Roy dismissed. "Apparently, the Fuhrer has some sort of family outing the three days. It's much more important that a liaison agreement to end war and fix our country, as it seems," he said dryly, voice wry. "But you didn't hear that from me."

Edward only smirked.

.


End file.
